How to deal with someone who heckles you – Jimmy Carr

April 23, 2012




Character: Jimmy Carr
From: Stand Up Comedian and TV Show Presenter
Type: Comedy Stars



In these videos, we are treated to a mixture of clips on how Jimmy Carr deals with Hecklers (people shouting things at Carr – unplanned and uncensored) and seeing how he deals with them … in a very hilarious manner! The clips are recordings from his stand up act in various cities during his sell out tour.



Firstly, Jimmy Carr is hilarious and is one of my favourite comedians. However, it is his ability to react to situations and deal with ‘abusive’ people that makes him so awesome, in my opinion. Watch the clips and see what I mean. I’m sure we have all been there, in a nightclub or pub and you are talking to a girl. Suddenly, a friend of hers or a random dude comes up and starts insulting you, heckling what you say or do and trys to out-Alpha you (no such thing but guys say it!) – do you know how to react? Watch Carr and see how a master does it. Carr goes out, on his own every night, to a crowd who are encouraged to shout out and interact with him. You can well imagine how quickly they will tell him if he sucks. Yet, instead of being fearful of the potential rejection from the crowd, Carr goes from strength to strength. Instead of shrinking under such pressure, you can see Carr build in confidence. He actually embraces the crowd and uses their shout outs to have a great time himself. You can see how passionate he is about making people have a great time.


  • Carr never takes anything personally. The crowd can shout out anything, it can get really insulting or personal but Carr is never phased. He simply turns towards the person who shouted and deals with them, in a calm and humorous manner.  Carr shows that he is superior by not reacting aggressively. He knows where his strengths lies and uses his brain instead of his fists.  He welcomes the person who shouted by talking to them for a few minutes – bringing them into the act – and then rips the mick out of them. As they are part of the group, they know they cannot act aggressive as it will shun them from the others. Therefore, the person has to just accept it. As Carr does it from a calm and confident manner, the recipient accepts it.
  • Carr doesn’t change. He doesn’t change his style of working for anyone. He is just as cheeky to girls as he is to guys (even the scary looking ones). By doing this, Carr never puts anyone on a pedestal, or makes it appear that they are better than him. Carr has his own beliefs and sense of humor. By not changing for anyone, he sends out a clear message that he is his own man and will not change regardless – people respect such displays of self-assurance.
  • Carr is his own man. Compare how comedians are normally dressed (jeans and t-shirt) to how Carr is dressed (suit).  Dressed and styled like a Public Schoolboy, Carr is the ideal choice of person to be insulted by people who are trying to make themselves look cool to the girls etc – e.g. the ‘school’ bully type. However, Carr is unlike the usual ‘geek’ as he answers his hecklers back. He doesn’t take it to heart – like a bully is relying on – and instead answers them back and makes them look stupid to their friends, instantly wiping out there social credit. Carr is not the type of comedian who plays it safe either.
  • Carr is not PG. He doesn’t follow social norms. He simply talks about things that he finds funny and entertaining, not altering his material or style to befriend or appease anyone. Carr is therefore acting congruent to his beliefs by being his own man and not changing to suit others. Carr simply speaks as he thinks – something that we should all do. Something that you will notice with Carr is that he says a lot of jokes which many would consider inappropriate, especially if a weaker person was saying it. However, when Carr says it, you can feel that he is saying what he believes, you can feel the passion and confidence he feels, you accept Carr saying it. This is because Carr leads you through the joke, he commands the attention from the audience and he builds social proof from the audience – the rest of the crowd laugh, so you feel OK to laugh too. Carr takes the risks and you feel part of his group. As the crowd become more enthralled in him, the group accept him.


  • Go out as much as possible. You can not practice how you will deal with people heckling you, without putting yourself in situations where you have it happen. Go out regularly, to the clubs and pubs, especially where you will find drunken idiots who have no game and instead can only try and scare other males away. When you go out, chat to everybody – eventually, people will be cheeky or poke fun at you. This is the environment you need because as it happens, again and again (trust me it will!), you will slowly build a hard shell, a level of resistance to it and it won’t upset you as much. You will learn to accept the heckle, not to take anything personally (as you will see the real reason for the heckle) and simply respond to the person in a fun manner and make it part of an enjoyable night. Your goal for the night should be to go out and have a great time (women should be a secondary challenge). Carr actually encourages people to heckle as he now enjoys it, he enjoys the social interaction with the crowd.
  • Flip how you view the heckle. The problem with most people is that you take the heckle personally and let the heckle cut into their ego. However, this is the wrong way to look at it. When you take heckles personally, you are reactive to the other person, which shows beta behaviour. Instead, you should consider the motivation of the heckler. In the case of Carr, the person shouting out, is wanting to be seen as cool by the rest of the crowd – they are not wanting to personally insult Carr. Carr realises this and simply uses the heckle to make the person look stupid in front of the group and have everyone have a good time – what you should be aiming for in a night out. Next time, look at who is heckling you. If it is a friend for example, they may be trying to make themselves feel better or impress a girl. If it is a random guy for example, he may be seeing you as a threat and competition to the girl he wants. So instead of getting aggressive or backing away from someone heckling, instead look at their motivation and use it against them like Carr does.
  • Enjoy the interaction. Watch how Carr enjoys dealing with the hecklers. As each person shouts out, you can see him smile. Each time someone heckles him, it brings the full audience attention back onto him. The heckler is making Carr the centre of attention – the same thing that a heckler is doing when they pick on you on a night out. Forget what their intention is and instead accept it as a chance to lead the group. Why would you want to ruin that by becoming aggressive? Simply laugh it off, crack a joke or answer back and use it as social proof to those watching, that you are the Alpha of the group and the women will come flocking to you!
  • Be your own person. What makes Carr so successful, is that he isn’t a usual comedian. Carr says things that he finds funny – regardless of how against the norm that society is demonstrating. Remember that people can pick up on your motivations as to why you do what you do. Carr is successful as you see that this is him, he is being congruent to who he truly is. Stop trying to be someone that you aren’t. Embrace the unique and strange things about yourself. Tell jokes that amuse you, do the things that you like regardless how they go against parents wishes, what your friends or partner thinks you should do. Stop caring what others think of you. Imagine how boring life would be if we were all the same (look at how dull the music scene is just now as bands are just carbon copies of each other). Be proud of who you are. Celebrate your tastes, dress as you want, talk about thing that interest you. When you do this, you become congruent and women will pick up on this. Congruency is attractive to women as it shows the man is not a fake and who he says he is. Women have to deal with a lot of people who pretend to be who they aren’t. A lot of a woman’s initial bitchy behaviour, is typically a ‘shit-test’ to see if they are as real as they claim to be. Overcome this by showing that you are an Alpha Male and 100% congruent in your thoughts, actions and beliefs. This is what women want in a guy.


So what do you think? Could you handle hecklers like Jimmy Carr does? What would you do differently? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below. Thanks.

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4 comments on “How to deal with someone who heckles you – Jimmy Carr

  1. How to deal with someone who heckles you – Jimmy Carr via @

  2. @jimmycarr I wrote an article about you for my website – let me know what you think

  3. John White Apr 24, 2012

    Haha, love those videos. Carr is really funny!
    I love how unreactive he is to whatever they shout out. Def something that I need to get like. He’s like totally immune to it – great example to follow.

  4. Its such as you read my thoughts! You appear to understand so much about this, like you wrote the e book in it or something. I feel that you simply could do with some p.c. to force the message home a bit, but other than that, that is great blog. A fantastic read. I will definitely be back.

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