What is it?

Character: Muhammad Ali
From: Boxing
Type: Sport Stars
What is this clip about: Michael Parkinson is retiring and is showing clips of his favourite guests he has interviewed, Ali being one. In this video, there are different clips of their interviews and how Ali treads the line majestically between confidence and arrogance. Ali is perhaps the greatest boxer of all time yet, he never comes across as arrogant.

Why should I watch it?

  • Ali is considered the greatest boxer of all time. He made mountains of money and had every person around him telling him he was the greatest, yet Ali is self-aware throughout the interview, uses wit and irony and humour to just be himself. If he had been arrogant, he would have been more stand offish, he wouldn’t have been as open towards the ‘deeper’ questions (e.g. about getting hurt).
  • Ali had a big goal in his life and he worked hard towards achieving it. As he did so, Ali accumulated reference points from others, of how good he was (the numerous knockouts etc). Yet, he never becomes arrogant. He enjoys making others laugh, bringing the crowd into the fun and making the experience unforgettable for all. He appreciates his fans and loves to interact with them.
  • Watch Ali’s body language, it is a supreme display of self-confidence. He leans back and has open and inviting body language. When he talks, he locks on eye contact and talks slowly, clearly and in a deep masculine voice. Parkinson can’t help but be drawn into him, notice how Parkinson leans forward, like he is being sucked into the experience Ali is creating.
  • Ali dresses to impress. Ali took pride in his appearance and it gave him confidence to know he looked good. If he were arrogant, I would have expected him to bring a Championship belt to the interview.
  • Ali was aware that he has his faults. He knew that to be the best, he had to learn new skills and become the best at them. He analysed his opponents and got in their heads. He was humble enough to know they had weaknesses and he sought them out. Ali wasn’t stupid enough to assume he would always win regardless.
  • You won’t find anyone to say Ali is arrogant. Yet, everyone (of a certain age-range anyway) typically uses him when asked for a confident male.

 

How can I do that?

  • Like Ali, you need to get a goal in your life. Pick something that is far away from your current reality, and something that you will need to work hard to achieve it. You can’t get arrogant if you know you always need to improve. Life should always be about improvement and bettering yourself.
  • Be self-aware, you will know inside if you have become the sort of person that people will avoid. Watch other people’s reactions. Ask for feedback from them. It becomes apparent quickly when people are not impressed with how you are behaving (and most will tell you soon enough if you are being a arrogant dick!).
  • It is OK to be great at something but always remember that you can always learn something about it, you are never perfect. Be proud of your achievements but it should never be all there is about you.
  • Spend time with others, look to help them if possible. Ali is aware that others aren’t him, that others aren’t as good as him. He brings others into his experience, to make them have a great time. Do the same.
  • Become confident by working towards your goals. Use the successes as reference points to build your confidence. Use the failures as learning experiences. Always consider yourself a pupil learning and never the teacher and you should stay on the right side of confidence and never become arrogant.

 

How was it? Did it blow your mind or suck ass? Let me know in the comments below and then watch another!

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What is it?

Character: Jack Bauer
From: 24
Type: TV Star
What is this clip about: In this clip, we have numerous examples of Jack Bauer’s great tonality.

Why should I watch it?

  • Bauer’s has a deep masculine tone. When he talks his standard voice tone is louder than normal. He doesn’t just talk, it’s like he is talking right through the person (or whispers sinisterly), Bauer doesn’t hold back. This can be used to control women, tool chodes and the like.
  • Bauer gets right into the person’s proximity, he invades their personal space. He looks them in the eye and talks straight at (not to, AT them). He talks to them as if he is reprimanding a small child. People listen to him and act Beta towards him.
  • Bauer doesn’t fuck around. He asks direct and simple questions. There is no fluff in Bauer’s questions, he simply asks people exactly what he needs to, to get the information that he needs.
  • Notice that it doesn’t matter who the person is, man or woman, Bauer does the same to all.

How can I do that?

  • Don’t be scared to raise your voice, it’s not against the law. Talk louder (but stay clear) than normal. Build it up till you reach a level that feels natural and authoritative.
  • Look people in the eye, connect with women (or men) and imagine you are speaking only to them. Talk to them as if it’s only you and them in the world. Maintain that eye contact throughout but remember to blink!
  • Ask exactly what you mean, don’t sugar coat it. Do not hold back and especially do not try to pretend or sneak into someone’s affection – it just doesn’t work. Just man up and say what you mean.
  • Get up close to people. Invade the space around people that social norms means you would normally avoid. Girls see it as confidence, guys seem it as a dominant gesture and tend to back away from Alpha displays (be careful when doing this as it can leads to people drunk or coked up throwing punches). You will need to learn through trial and error what is too much and what is just right.
  • Practice it at every opportunity you can. Every social interaction (even with family) is a chance to work on your assertiveness and vocal tonality.

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How was it? Did it blow your mind or suck ass? Let me know in the comments below and then watch another!

 

What is it?

Character: Tallahassee
From: Zombieland
Type: Film Star
What is this clip about: It’s a montage of Tallahassee’s scenes in the epic Zombieland, one of my most favourite films of all time.

Why should I watch it?

  • He totally doesn’t give a fuck. He cracks jokes at the most inappropriate times and says exactly what he is thinking. He doesn’t supplicate for no one!
  • He does as he wants. He dresses exactly as he wants. He passionately pursues his goal in life (finding a Twinkie), no matter how stupid it may seem to others! Tallahassee has a goal in his life and he goes balls out to get it.
  • He can talk to men. He has bro time and wants to help and improve his mates.
  • Tallahasse has confidence in himself and his skills. He will put himself into dangerous situations to save others. He never panics, he just believes in himself and what he can do, no matter how scary the odds are.
  • He has fun, purely for the … erm … fun of it! Like kids do, Tallahassee just does things for the pure enjoyment of it, not to suck up or make others laugh. He doesn’t bottle things up, he just lets his frustrations out in ‘healthy’ ways (well in a Zombie apocalyptic society anyway!)
  • He doesn’t play up to impress any girls. He dances, he doesn’t care what she thinks, he does his own things (reenacting the Slimer scene from ‘Ghostbusters’ with Bill Murray is typical of him) no matter how geeky it may seem to the hot girl.
  • He’s genuinely grateful for the help from others (her finding him the Twinkie). He appreciates the little things.

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Who: Seeley Booth
From: Bones (TV Show)
What is this clip about: This clip is about Seeley Booth and the protective actions he makes to protect his partner Brennan. Booth is confident, aggressive and assertive to ensure his goals are met.

Booth who? Why should I care?

When most guys hear the term ‘Alpha Male’ and read up on it, they tend to get the wrong idea completely. Partly, due to some shitty advice on other websites, guys come away with the idea that to be a Alpha Male, you need to be the toughest dude in the house. Beginner guys think you need to throw the punches, insult everyone and push people around. Those guys get fucking nowhere fast.

When I thought of assertive people to show you, Booth came straight to mind. He dominates other men. He controls people who are considerably smarter than he is. He is admired and respected by his peers. He stands up for himself. I would like to be more like him too!

So what does he do that I should take note of?

He only uses violence (read: not the usual restraining of suspects) when absolutely necessary to protect his loved one. Booth protects what he holds dear to him. He willingly risks his FBI career a few times to protect Brennan (his work partner/lover). He aims to protect her above all – he even takes a bullet for her (before they are lovers). When she is hurt, he looks after her and reassures her when she is ill or hurt. Booth is Alpha enough to be himself and vulnerable with her (he remains authoritative and dominant with everyone else) When he protects Brennan, he is passionate and scary – this turns other ‘scary’ males to Beta.

Men shouldn’t control their partners but in this clip Booth tries to stop Brennan from being in trouble by controlling what she does. He does it for her own protection but in this case he is wrong.

In one scene, Booth has been shot while trying to rescue Brennan. He doesn’t care about his own physical pains until he has seen that Brennan is safe. Even when thing are against him or he is hurt, he still takes the lead and controls the other officers, to ensure success in the mission (in this case, to rescue Brennan). He never gives up on his goal, no matter how badly things are against him.

Guys he threatens know from his actions and passion, that he is serious, he doesn’t just talk

Listen to him. He uses a strong deep voice and people feel compelled to listen to him. He boosts this with strong deep eye contact and people feel almost scared to look else where.

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2005

In their 80’s Hay-day

 

Who: Mötley Crüe
Type: Music Stars
What are these clips about: In these clips, there are two different versions (the 2005 is a liv version while the 80’s version is the official music video) of Mötley Crüe’s song ‘Girls, Girls, Girls’. Despite the difference in time, Mötley Crüe demonstrates how to use your image and the environment you create to attract girls!

 

So what is it they do?

 

You may like or hate their music, but their is no denying that Mötley Crüe got a shitload of pussy. You can do it too without having to get tattoos or play a musical instruement!

  • Be self amusing. Notice how the guys are laughing and fooling around in the strip club and not really paying attention to the girls. They are able to make their own fun regardless of what is happening. It isn’t hard to imagine that they can be the life and soul of any party. Girls love guys who are self-amusing. They want to be with the cool guy(s), not the ones that they can wrap around their finger. Go out to have fun, picking up women should be secondary. Strange as it may seem but by having fun, usually means you end up attracting women to you as a given.

 

  • They dont pander to the women as the rest do. The rest of the club are fawning over the half naked girls. Our Alpha’s do what they want and have fun together. The guys from Crue, aren’t putting the girls on a pedestal lik your typical guy who is desperate. The Motley guys are showing the girls that they don’t need to sleep with them, that they have other options – that having fun is more important. Girls don’t like this – it makes them try harder to attract you as they assume that you have hotter girls in your life. They want to be the best girl. By the guys pretending that they aren’t interested, the girls in return try harder to win them over. It’s a strange dynamic but it works!

 

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Character: Randy Orton
What is this clip about: This clip is a two minute montage of the ‘look’ Randy Orton is famous of giving – like his eye contact is penetrating your very soul.
From: WWE
Type: Sport

Who’s this dude then?

Good eye contact is one of the most important things that you can learn and will help you get better with women. However, most guys can’t look at anybodies eyes for more than a few seconds, nevermind a girls! So we need to use a role model to show you some basics. For this, I’ve gone for the master of the RKO (look it up on Youtube)!

Randy Orton. Orton is a ‘third-generation’ superstar (his father and grandfather were also wrestlers too) and there’s no one better to demonstrate the eye contact that I keep banging on about.

Now every wrestler gets a persona or a gimmick. They get nicknames and a image to play to. Their chance of success in the business (and earning potential) depends on how well they can sell their gimmick to the fans. Most wrestlers do an OK job, with the top performers earning top dollar. Orton however seems to be actually living his.

Orton is known as ‘the Viper’. He plays the role of a cold-blooded killer, waiting to strike at any moment perfectly.

When you watch the video, notice how Orton seems to look straight through you when his face is turned towards the camera. His eyes seem to penetrate through you. He has a way of making his face look snake-like before it strikes. Orton is brilliant at focusing his gaze through the ‘target’ and looking ‘evil’.

Yep, that’s all great for the cameras, but what use is this to me?

Today’s post is going to be a short intro into good eye contact but you can still learn a lot from watching Orton in this short video.

  • Look at the person in the eyes (yep that simple) but act as if you are looking through them to a few feet past them.
  • Keep your face loose. Don’t tighten the rest of the face as this can seem aggressive to others.
  • Know … don’t think … know that you are a Alpha Male. Know that you are attractive the way you are. Use this confidence to fuck a girl with your eyes. As you talk to her, imagine that you are looking through her bullshit, straight to her base needs. She wants to fuck. Show her that you are the man for her with your eyes and your confidence will do this.
  • Remember to blink! No stalker eyes.
  • If you’re struggling, aim to work a three point triangle. The top point is the person’s eyes. The other points are to the left and right of the person. Look the person in the eyes as much as possible but when you feel that you can’t continue, look to one of the other points (left or right of the person) and return back to the person as soon as possible. The outside two points are for quick relief only. I found this idea really helpful when I was trying to build up my eye contact ability.

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The following is a short post based on a TV programme that I watched the other night. It’s one of those shows that when you’ve seen it once, you just fall in love with the girls (and their varying degrees of desperation) and how good/bad the guys can be in their attempt to game the girls.

‘Take Me Out’ is a UK based TV show that is a twist on the standard dating show. A single guy must work his way through several rounds (of challenges) where 30 girls decide whether they are interested in going on a date with him or not. During the last round, the format is changed and the guy decides, which one (if any are!) of the girls still ‘in’ he wants to date.If the girl is interested, she leaves her light white, if she’s not, she turns it red.

This show is awesome as it shows a varying degree of confidence, dress sense, what other guys do to impress girls, how guys win girls over and (as you will see in the following video) turn them off! Tonight, I got a little bored and found these two great examples of the good and the bad. Some of what they do is ok, some sucks badly. See if you can spot them!

The More Beta Male:

To get you started: He reacts to social pressure, worries how people are responding to him, tools incorrectly etc. It’s a cringe worthy show!

The More Alpha Male:

To get you started: Confident but not too cocky. He utilises his strengths. He lets the girls game him.

So what do you reckon? Have I got this wrong? Is the ‘Beta male’ actually more Alpha? Is the ‘Alpha male’ actually a true Beta male? What Alpha Male traits do you see them each having? Let me know in the comments below – see what you’ve learned so far.

Character: The Rock (Dwayne Johnson)
From: WWE (Professional Wrestling)
Type: Sport
Year: 2004

What is the scene about?:

In this scene, ‘The Rock’ (Dwayne Johnson) has shockingly returned to the WWE after an absence. He interrupts the ‘RAW Diva Search’ competition – this weeks installment been run by Jonathan ‘The Coach’ Coachman – and takes charge. Now, I don’t care what you think about professional wrestling, you can love it or hate it but I stand by my opinion, that no-one can entertain and own a room like Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson. This guy has a room of thousands following his every word. He talks with such passion and intensity, you feel drawn into what he is saying. I don’t doubt that every women there wanted to fuck him and every guy wanted to be him.

In this clip, he interrupts, delights the crowd, flirts with some hot women and ‘fights’ a couple of people. This is also a perfect comparison scene between the beta (Coach) and the Alpha (The Rock) male and how women react to him and social proof.

 

What makes him an AM:

00.01 – 00.51 Coach is in the ring. He is trying to stamp his authority and appear ‘macho’ to the women. He is failing miserably. As a Beta male, he is attempting to come across as Alpha and dominant. As it is not really in his character, it comes across as fake and pathetic (and very Beta).

00.51 – 02.58 The Rock enters. For this time, he doesn’t say anything. He simply struts down to the ring in a confident manner and shows his authority (a type of  peacocking – doing something to stand out from the other guys e.g. outrageous clothing. It is like when a peacock displays their tail feathers. The girl peacock goes for the best display and mates with him. Dating guys used to use this principle years ago. They thought by standing out from the crowd, they’d be more attractive – typically though they just looked like fucking idiots. thankfully it has come on dramatically now and few do this anymore) by showing his muscles, and plays to the crowd by interacting with them. He doesn’t need to speak a word, he just lets the crows build in excitement. They know from previous experience of how funny, alpha and witty he is, so he lets the love from the crowd build to a maximum. He knows they desire to see him, so he lets them build in the excitement before he talks.

02.58 – 4.07 The Rock tools the beta male (Coach). He could easily beat him up but it would kill his attraction (in the real world it would anyway – wrestling is different!). Women love a funny and witty guy who is able to take the mickey out of people, but they HATE violent people. Notice how the Rock stands more upright. His body language is wide and open. He paces about and you can almost feel the intensity he has. When he talks, he has a deep masculine tone. He talks slow but when it speeds up, it has passion and intensity. You believe what he is saying, you know he believes it to be true.

04.11 – 04.28 Once he has dealt with the Beta male, he turns his attention to the women. His conduct has more of a sexual nature to it now. He is flirty, confident almost to the point of cocky but he treads a thin line here. Now in this scenario, the Rock is attractive as the wrestling is hyped up more than normal life, so the Rock can be really loud and almost vulgar at times yet gets away with it. However, you would need to be a bit more toned down but still confident and cocky in a bar or club situation, especially as you learn it at first. The Rock starts to demonstrate his appeal to the ladies. He starts pea-cocking by displaying muscles, showing social proof (how much the crowd love him), using sexual connotations on his words and so on.

4.29 – 05.50 The Rock starts to flatter the girls but he keeps just on the right side of sleazy. He could easily sound desperate and perverted if he got the tone and nature of what he said wrong. He demonstrates confidence in himself and his sex appeal without sounding ridiculous. He knows the point to make a joke to avoid seeming arrogant (after the comment about how ‘fine the Rock’ is). Confidence is great, arrogance isn’t. Work on reading the point when you have moved more towards arrogance and use self-depreciating humour to show you are confident but self-aware. He know’s women find him hot and want to bed him but he doesn’t have to flaunt it in people’s faces or try and get them to believe it. He just needs to be himself.

05.50 – 06.30 To further amp his emotional state, and to show more social proof (and prove that he has numerous options to the girls), he brings another girl into the conversation (at ringside). He looks directly at her and turns his body language to her. He continues his balance of jokey and sexual commentary, bringing the girl into the conversation, who until now had been watching. The Rock is great at making the girl feel like she is the only girl in the world as he speaks to her but also involve everyone else too. He builds the chemistry with her, he insults her but does so in a playful manner*, the Rock shows it is a jest and she plays along by showing responsive pretend outrage but returns eye contact and leans forward showing she is into him. Things like mock outrage, playing ‘reprimanding’ slaps on the arm from the girl etc are what you want. Slaps across the face, not so much!

*(I disagree with using ‘Negs’ – intentional negative comments to a girl to bring her down when doing a push/pull approach. I disagree with them as I feel that you shouldn’t need to bring her down when pulling her. You should be bringing her up and pumping up her emotional state – but that’s more for another post)

 

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Character: Jack Bauer

From: 24

Type: TV Show

 

What is it about:

This is one of my favourite clips. Jack Bauer has gained some intel on the whereabouts of kidnapped Secretary of Defense James Heller and his daughter Audrey Raines (Jack’s secret girlfriend). A extremist group have kidnapped the two, ready to kill Heller online for his perceived crimes against their people. The American Government, trying to avoid the backlash such an event would cause, are ready to blow up the compound to stop the murder been shown live. Jack has hardly any time to save Heller and have the missile flying towards the compound aborted.

 

Why this is a great example of a Alpha Male in Action:

  • Jack stays calm under pressure. He is greatly outnumbered but he doesn’t panic. He simply works towards his game plan in his rescue efforts. Even when Jack can’t find Audrey – after she has been moved from her cell – Jack continues forward with his mission. He doesn’t panic or go off looking for Audrey – he knows that Heller is in immediate danger and must rescue him first. Jack has his priorities and follows through on them.
  • Jack controls James Heller and keeps him safe. Even when Jack is shot, he tells Heller what to do, to keep him safe.
  • Jack talks in a deep, authoritative tone. People listen to him and do as he says.
  • Jack doesn’t use filler words or suck up to Heller. He tells him what he needs to do and only that. He doesn’t say anymore than he needs to do to achieve his goals.
  • Jack is a great example of a Alpha Male focused solely on his goals. Notice how he doesn’t deviate from his plan he keeps on trying to rescue the hostages. He doesn’t panic or hide. He knows what needs done and goes to achieve it.

Jack Bauer is a great Alpha Male. Some of what he does is a bit OTT and intense due to the nature of his work but you can learn a lot from watching him.

Jack Bauer is a favourite character of mine, how do you rate him? Let me know in the comments below