The following is a short post based on a TV programme that I watched the other night. It’s one of those shows that when you’ve seen it once, you just fall in love with the girls (and their varying degrees of desperation) and how good/bad the guys can be in their attempt to game the girls.

‘Take Me Out’ is a UK based TV show that is a twist on the standard dating show. A single guy must work his way through several rounds (of challenges) where 30 girls decide whether they are interested in going on a date with him or not. During the last round, the format is changed and the guy decides, which one (if any are!) of the girls still ‘in’ he wants to date.If the girl is interested, she leaves her light white, if she’s not, she turns it red.

This show is awesome as it shows a varying degree of confidence, dress sense, what other guys do to impress girls, how guys win girls over and (as you will see in the following video) turn them off! Tonight, I got a little bored and found these two great examples of the good and the bad. Some of what they do is ok, some sucks badly. See if you can spot them!

The More Beta Male:

To get you started: He reacts to social pressure, worries how people are responding to him, tools incorrectly etc. It’s a cringe worthy show!

The More Alpha Male:

To get you started: Confident but not too cocky. He utilises his strengths. He lets the girls game him.

So what do you reckon? Have I got this wrong? Is the ‘Beta male’ actually more Alpha? Is the ‘Alpha male’ actually a true Beta male? What Alpha Male traits do you see them each having? Let me know in the comments below – see what you’ve learned so far.

Character: The Rock (Dwayne Johnson)
From: WWE (Professional Wrestling)
Type: Sport
Year: 2004

What is the scene about?:

In this scene, ‘The Rock’ (Dwayne Johnson) has shockingly returned to the WWE after an absence. He interrupts the ‘RAW Diva Search’ competition – this weeks installment been run by Jonathan ‘The Coach’ Coachman – and takes charge. Now, I don’t care what you think about professional wrestling, you can love it or hate it but I stand by my opinion, that no-one can entertain and own a room like Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson. This guy has a room of thousands following his every word. He talks with such passion and intensity, you feel drawn into what he is saying. I don’t doubt that every women there wanted to fuck him and every guy wanted to be him.

In this clip, he interrupts, delights the crowd, flirts with some hot women and ‘fights’ a couple of people. This is also a perfect comparison scene between the beta (Coach) and the Alpha (The Rock) male and how women react to him and social proof.

 

What makes him an AM:

00.01 – 00.51 Coach is in the ring. He is trying to stamp his authority and appear ‘macho’ to the women. He is failing miserably. As a Beta male, he is attempting to come across as Alpha and dominant. As it is not really in his character, it comes across as fake and pathetic (and very Beta).

00.51 – 02.58 The Rock enters. For this time, he doesn’t say anything. He simply struts down to the ring in a confident manner and shows his authority (a type of  peacocking – doing something to stand out from the other guys e.g. outrageous clothing. It is like when a peacock displays their tail feathers. The girl peacock goes for the best display and mates with him. Dating guys used to use this principle years ago. They thought by standing out from the crowd, they’d be more attractive – typically though they just looked like fucking idiots. thankfully it has come on dramatically now and few do this anymore) by showing his muscles, and plays to the crowd by interacting with them. He doesn’t need to speak a word, he just lets the crows build in excitement. They know from previous experience of how funny, alpha and witty he is, so he lets the love from the crowd build to a maximum. He knows they desire to see him, so he lets them build in the excitement before he talks.

02.58 – 4.07 The Rock tools the beta male (Coach). He could easily beat him up but it would kill his attraction (in the real world it would anyway – wrestling is different!). Women love a funny and witty guy who is able to take the mickey out of people, but they HATE violent people. Notice how the Rock stands more upright. His body language is wide and open. He paces about and you can almost feel the intensity he has. When he talks, he has a deep masculine tone. He talks slow but when it speeds up, it has passion and intensity. You believe what he is saying, you know he believes it to be true.

04.11 – 04.28 Once he has dealt with the Beta male, he turns his attention to the women. His conduct has more of a sexual nature to it now. He is flirty, confident almost to the point of cocky but he treads a thin line here. Now in this scenario, the Rock is attractive as the wrestling is hyped up more than normal life, so the Rock can be really loud and almost vulgar at times yet gets away with it. However, you would need to be a bit more toned down but still confident and cocky in a bar or club situation, especially as you learn it at first. The Rock starts to demonstrate his appeal to the ladies. He starts pea-cocking by displaying muscles, showing social proof (how much the crowd love him), using sexual connotations on his words and so on.

4.29 – 05.50 The Rock starts to flatter the girls but he keeps just on the right side of sleazy. He could easily sound desperate and perverted if he got the tone and nature of what he said wrong. He demonstrates confidence in himself and his sex appeal without sounding ridiculous. He knows the point to make a joke to avoid seeming arrogant (after the comment about how ‘fine the Rock’ is). Confidence is great, arrogance isn’t. Work on reading the point when you have moved more towards arrogance and use self-depreciating humour to show you are confident but self-aware. He know’s women find him hot and want to bed him but he doesn’t have to flaunt it in people’s faces or try and get them to believe it. He just needs to be himself.

05.50 – 06.30 To further amp his emotional state, and to show more social proof (and prove that he has numerous options to the girls), he brings another girl into the conversation (at ringside). He looks directly at her and turns his body language to her. He continues his balance of jokey and sexual commentary, bringing the girl into the conversation, who until now had been watching. The Rock is great at making the girl feel like she is the only girl in the world as he speaks to her but also involve everyone else too. He builds the chemistry with her, he insults her but does so in a playful manner*, the Rock shows it is a jest and she plays along by showing responsive pretend outrage but returns eye contact and leans forward showing she is into him. Things like mock outrage, playing ‘reprimanding’ slaps on the arm from the girl etc are what you want. Slaps across the face, not so much!

*(I disagree with using ‘Negs’ – intentional negative comments to a girl to bring her down when doing a push/pull approach. I disagree with them as I feel that you shouldn’t need to bring her down when pulling her. You should be bringing her up and pumping up her emotional state – but that’s more for another post)

 

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Character: Jack Bauer

From: 24

Type: TV Show

 

What is it about:

This is one of my favourite clips. Jack Bauer has gained some intel on the whereabouts of kidnapped Secretary of Defense James Heller and his daughter Audrey Raines (Jack’s secret girlfriend). A extremist group have kidnapped the two, ready to kill Heller online for his perceived crimes against their people. The American Government, trying to avoid the backlash such an event would cause, are ready to blow up the compound to stop the murder been shown live. Jack has hardly any time to save Heller and have the missile flying towards the compound aborted.

 

Why this is a great example of a Alpha Male in Action:

  • Jack stays calm under pressure. He is greatly outnumbered but he doesn’t panic. He simply works towards his game plan in his rescue efforts. Even when Jack can’t find Audrey – after she has been moved from her cell – Jack continues forward with his mission. He doesn’t panic or go off looking for Audrey – he knows that Heller is in immediate danger and must rescue him first. Jack has his priorities and follows through on them.
  • Jack controls James Heller and keeps him safe. Even when Jack is shot, he tells Heller what to do, to keep him safe.
  • Jack talks in a deep, authoritative tone. People listen to him and do as he says.
  • Jack doesn’t use filler words or suck up to Heller. He tells him what he needs to do and only that. He doesn’t say anymore than he needs to do to achieve his goals.
  • Jack is a great example of a Alpha Male focused solely on his goals. Notice how he doesn’t deviate from his plan he keeps on trying to rescue the hostages. He doesn’t panic or hide. He knows what needs done and goes to achieve it.

Jack Bauer is a great Alpha Male. Some of what he does is a bit OTT and intense due to the nature of his work but you can learn a lot from watching him.

Jack Bauer is a favourite character of mine, how do you rate him? Let me know in the comments below

Character: Sherlock Holmes
Type: TV Show
Shown: BBC Three
Year: Started 2010 – Ongoing

 

What is the scene about?:

In this scene, Sherlock Holmes is meeting Dr. John Watson for the very first time. Dr Watson has been brought to meet Sherlock Holmes to see if they would be suitable to share a flat together. Before the subject can be brought up, Sherlock answers John’s questions before he has time to even think them!

 

What makes him an AM:

Sherlock is an Alpha Male but not in the traditional sense. When you think of Alpha Males you visualise action film stars such as James Bond or Jason Bourne beating people up, getting the girl and so on. However, this is an incorrect viewpoint. Alpha males control the situation and are the most powerful in the group, others respond to them in kind. Sherlock displays how you can be brainy and be alpha too.

00.00 – 00.15 Sherlock ignores John and Mike when they enter. He doesn’t respond to them coming into the room by issuing a welcoming i.e. showing that John and Mike are on the same level as him (Please note that this although shows power, it also comes across as rude and can alienate people). John, perturbed by Sherlock not greeting him, looks around the room, in a beta male fashion not confident in the situation. Sherlock simply continues with his work

00.26 – 00.36 John responds to Sherlock’s first words (a question if he can borrow Mike’s phone) by saying he can use his phone (John is somewhat eager to please – a beta move). In response to John offering, Sherlock locks eye contact with John for a few seconds. Then Sherlock walks over and collects the phone. Immediately, Sherlock starts texting and looks away from John – at this point, he starts to ask John a question (about where he served in the Army). Sherlock asked for what he needed, when he got it, he carried on with the action that he needed to do.

00.36 – 00.47 Notice that he doesn’t look at John – Sherlock knows that he has John’s attention, that he is the most important thing in the room and of course, John will be looking at him. Sherlock ignores John’s questioning reply, so John looks to Mike for answers and reassurances as the Alpha male isn’t paying attention to him. When John finally answers Sherlock’s question (about the location he served in) he looks down to the floor as he answers. This is a submissive move by John (i.e. he is bowing to the more senior male in the room, showing that he is more dominant), showing he has accepted Sherlock as the Alpha male in the pack. John plucks up the courage to question Sherlock but Sherlock simply dismisses his question by looking away and announcing his ‘servant’ has arrived (Molly with his coffee).

00.51 – 00.58 Completely ignoring John, Sherlock turns to Molly (who has just arrived with his coffee) and questions her on where her lipstick has gone to (earlier in the episode, she had been wearing lipstick to appeal to Sherlock and he voiced his dislike of it – she has since removed it from her face to try and win back favor with Sherlock). Molly explains that she has removed it. Sherlock without any ‘sugar coating’ to his thoughts, simply states to her what he believes (e.g. it makes her mouth now look too small). This is a good Alpha male trait here – saying what is on your mind and not holding back due to concern about what someone else may think. An Alpha male will not apologise for what he believes and will speak his mind.

Notice how Sherlock turns his back as he talks to her and walks away. Sherlock is voicing what he believes, he doesn’t care for her reaction, he is not pandering to the girl – this is a big thing to learn! Remove the girl from the pedestal, let her try to win you over.

01.01 – 01.13 Sherlock asks John a question but he doesn’t look at him. Sherlock knows that he is the ‘Top Dog’ in the room and that everyone will be listening to him. John queries Sherlock as he doesn’t really understand why he is asking, not what he is asking. Sherlock repeats it (as if John doesn’t understand him) and also gives him further information this time to ensure he is understood. This time though Sherlock looks at John to check that he understanding, giving John a ‘reassuring’ smile to appear warmer to John, as if he is trying to encourage him to follow what he is saying.

01.13 – 01.43 John starts to question Sherlock about why  he would mention about them possibly being flat mates (he again looks to Mike, to try and get some reassurance from him as the Alpha male – Sherlock – is ignoring him and being in total control, something John as a military man is not used to). Again, Sherlock ignores John’s questions and start getting ready to leave. An Alpha Male knows that his time is valuable and will not engage in any activity that is not of benefit to him. Sherlock has decided that the interview is finished, he has vetted John enough. He decides to leave the office, knowing that John will do as he says.

01.46 – 02.19 Sherlock turns in annoyance at Johns questioning ramble. Notice how John talks fast as he if panicking now that the Alpha is leaving, he needs some answers and is pleading with the Alpha to engage him again. Sherlock talks slowly and calmly throughout the clip – another sign of confidence and being an alpha male.

Sherlock again locks in the eye contact. He turns to John, with his body language open and facing him, and addresses why he thinks what John has said is incorrect. Sherlock is, not for the first time, saying exactly what he thinks openly and honestly. At the end of Sherlock talking, John again looks down to the floor as he plays Beta male again, accepting what Sherlock says to be correct.

02.19 – 02.29 Sherlock turns back, but with his body language still facing towards the exit. He tells John the details about the house visit but it is merely a afterthought, he knows John is under his spell now and will come along with him. He doesn’t need to go back or plead to John to come along. He knows that John will come and he can now focuses on what he wants to do, which is to leave the room. Sherlock leaves the room and leaves John to stand stunned and again look to Mike for reassurance.

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Character: Edward ‘Eddie’ Morra (played by Bradley Cooper)
Film: Limitless
Year: 2011

What is the scene about?:

Eddie is meeting his ex girlfriend, Lindy (played by a hot Abbie Cornish) after been separated for a while. At the start of the film, she dumps Eddie as she has fallen out of love with him, as she has lost respect for him. However, Eddie discovers a wonder drug that lets him learn using his full brain capacity and the results are life-changing! This is the first meeting between the two since Eddie has started harnessing his true power of development.

What makes him an AM:

Eddie is sitting upright, facing Lindy full on. By facing her full on, he is showing open, inviting body language, his non verbal signs are that he is powerful, open and is focused solely on her. He isn’t slouched or looking around, which are Beta behaviours.

00.01 – 00.17: As the waitress approaches, Eddie gives her his full focus. He chats to the waitress in Italian and cracks some jokes and is a bit flirty. Notice that Lindy isn’t sure where to look. She is taken aback by his new skills but is trying to avoid showing her surprise and love of it. Girls never want to show that they are falling for you. They want you to pass their congruence tests and work hard for them – they want the guy to do the running and be the prize for the man. Eddie has flipped the script here by not playing the typical game of the man chasing the girl and being supplicating to her (read: putting her on a pedestal and worshipping her!).

When Eddie chats to the waitress, he is showing that his sociable, easily at home in fancy restaurants and is full of confidence. Lindy knows that he has options (to fuck!), Eddie has taken her off the pedestal that he once had her on (at the start of the film). She is no longer the sole women he has options to, Lindy sub consciously knows that Eddie can go out and get another girl whenever he wants.

00.21 – 00.42: As his ex recovers her composure, she throws – what seems like – a casual question into the conversation. When they are discussing his new talent with speaking Italian, She mentions “I hope you didn’t do it for me?”. This appears on the surface as a bitchy question, as if she is saying that she hopes he never learnt it to impress her (something the old Eddie and a Beta male would have done) as it didn’t work and she is isn’t interested.

However, if you look at this question from a deeper level, you realise it is also a congruence test. Lindy is falling for Eddie again. On her unconscious level, she is scared that he may be the same Eddie as the weak Eddie in the beginning of the film and she needs reassurances that he has changed. Girls do this is in the clubs and pubs worldwide all the time. They have so many mating options that they can literally pick and choose whoever they want. As they have so many options, they have to come up with tests to eliminate the weaker options, so they are left with the best options available to mate with (or in today’s society – to sleep with). Lindy is seeing if the old Eddie will resurface and this new image and confidence is an act. Notice that the camera focuses on Lindy for a few seconds after Eddie says “No” and references it to his self-development month. Lindy appears shocked. Her ego wanted Eddie to say it was for her. Lindy wanted Eddie to admit his undying love for her (like he does at the start of the film) to give her a confidence boost but she would also be repulsed by him if he did say it. As Eddie states he learnt the language for himself and doesn’t apologise for anything, Lindy is taken aback but you can tell that Eddie has passed her test, the confidence he is showing is real. Change scares people, they always want you to be the same person, particularly if you were a weaker male) then them before. That is why you should look to make real changes to you inner game rather than learn some routines (that won’t work as your behaviour will show its not congruent with the real you.

 

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The following is a video that I found on Youtube. The uploader, has taken a great deal of time to breakdown the performance of Robbie Williams (a British singer) and show how he demonstrates his Alpha Male qualities on stage.

This is truly excellent work and I don’t think I really need to add anything to the video or additional commentary (except for a few spelling mistakes!). This video is a great example of how someone can build up their confidence and own a room. It wouldn’t be hard to imagine, that no girl there wasn’t ‘into’ Robbie and he would have little trouble sleeping with any of them.

Anyway, enjoy the vid and let me know what you think of this in the comments below. Thanks!

Video details:

Subject: Robbie Williams
Year: 2009
Situation: Robbie is performing his song Feel live on the Tonight Show.

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So in the last post, we covered exactly WHAT a Alpha Male is. In this post, I want to provide you with 3 brief examples of the sort of people WHO are Alpha Males. In each of the examples, I’ll give a brief intro and then give some quick notes on why each is a Alpha Male.

First, we are going to look at:

Character: Samuel Gerard

Film: The Fugitive (1993)

What is it about: In this clip, Sam Gerard, gives a speech to a select group of Law Enforcement officials on the search for a fugitive.

What makes him a AM: In this scene, he demonstrates his confidence and accepts authority, over the other males (many of whom hold high powers of authority in their jobs e.g. Police Officers). Despite having to speak in front of a high number of people, he projects his voice to all, looks them in the eye as he talks and gives direct orders, with his voice portraying complete control (and he expects utter compliance from the group). The officers feel compelled to listen to him due to his authoritative tone.

The next person we are going to look at is:

Character: Tyler Durden

Film: Fight Club (1999)

What is it about: In this clip, Tyler Durden is giving the ‘Fight Club’ recruits the rules of ‘Fight Club’.

What makes him a AM: Tyler demonstrates total belief in what he is saying. An Alpha Male will never apologies for what he is saying or to be more specific, in what he believes. Tyler talks with utter belief in what he is saying as the truth and the whole truth. You can tell by listening to Tyler, that he believes, right down to his soul, that what he is saying is the truth, he believes this completely. In this group of angry, violent men, there isn’t a eye missing of Tyler. He walks around the room, talking in a strong tone, in a controlled manner. He gathers his thoughts, not being rushed by the pressure of everyone looking at him and he always maintains his composure and control.

Our final Alpha for this post is

Character: King Leonidas

Film: 300 (2007)

What is it about: In this clip, a Persian messenger is offering King Xerxes’s terms to King Leonidas of Sparta. The messenger is being very insulting in many ways but King Leonidas doesn’t react to the insults … well not at first anyway!

What makes him a AM: King Leonidas thinks through his actions, he isn’t rushed into a decision or action, regardless of the high number of people eyeing him for him to decide. King Leonidas gives his own terms leaving the messenger in doubt about his mood, he doesn’t hide his feelings or supplicate to the overtly aggressive messenger. After kicking the messenger into the hole, King Leonidas simply turns his back on the other men fighting. He has the belief in his men, he shows utter confidence in his own skills and those of his men. He remains confident throughout. King Leonidas believes that what he is doing is right for his men and his people.

Now obviously, there is more to each scene then the brief notes I’ve mentioned, but I will start to go into greater detail in the coming posts. In this post, I simply want to show brief examples to you of the types of people who are Alpha Males and demonstrate some of the classic characteristics of a Alpha Male.

In the coming posts, I will look at individual Alpha Males and analyse particular scenes from entertainment and show you how you can incorporate the positive characteristics into your life, to get better with women.

 

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An Alpha Male can be best summed up by the following:

 “…the highest ranked or most dominant individual of one’s sex.”

Definition from the http://www.thefreedictionary.com

 

In short, an Alpha Male is the top male in a group, either in terms of animals or humans. He is the number one choice that females want to mate with and other members of his group will take on submissive roles to him, aligning themselves into decreasing ranks of importance.

 So where does the name come from?

The name was typically given to animals that live in social structures where the more powerful male in the group is decided by either simple play-fights or more often in full on battles between members. Think Wolves and Gorilla’s. The phrase ‘Top Dog’ to describe the top guy in a group is a term that has sprung from the Alpha dog in a pack.

The current alpha male must defend his ranking from younger members in the pack, who will challenge him wherever possible. When he is too old or not strong enough to win, he loses his position in the group to a younger member, who must then hold off future challenges to his authority. The group dynamic will have one Alpha male, with the other males playing submissive roles in a varying amount of importance and status in the pack.

The name branched out to humans, when in 1931, a book called “Brave New World” by Aldous Huxley, was written. In it he grades humans into categories, which he affixes names taken from the Greek alphabet. ‘Alphas’ were given the highest ranking of the different categories. Alpha is the first letter of the Greek alphabet and the ideal choice for the number one in a group!

Few males are Alpha, Majority are Beata males

Sounds like a pain, why would you want to be a Alpha Male?

The main benefit for being the Alpha Male, is that he is seen as the best choice for females to mate with … and typically does. I’m sure that you have seen it in a nightclub environment, where the ‘cool’ guy has his pick of the women, who are flocking around him. The reason being is that as the Alpha Male, he is the strongest of the potential males she has to mate with. Therefore, it stands to reason that his genes are also going to be the strongest out of the list of her potential suitors. This will give her the best offspring possible, as the strongest genes are passed onto her offspring. Women are driven by their biological need to produce offspring. The judgements she makes in her daily life are based on her most fundamental desires. She wants to ‘mate’ (or most likely in a club pickup – practice mating!) with the best guy she can, or with a guy up ‘the Alpha food chain’.

Animals and humans are the same in terms of looking to mate with the best genes possible. If you strip back animals or people to our most basic desires (needs and wants), the desire to reproduce, to pass on our genes to our offspring is pretty much the number one aim. We want to pass on our genes, to ensure that we (well our genes anyway) survive into the next generation and that ‘we’ do not die out. Our brain is simply trying to ensure our survival, and by being the Alpha Male, we have the best opportunity to do so.

Moreover, by being the Alpha Male, you become the selector. Traditionally, women are the chooser in the mating ritual. She is inundated with choices of potential suitors, trying to mate. She can pick and drop whoever she wants. Modern day women, can be approached every day of the week and they now use a variety of tests (typically known as congruence tests or ‘shit tests’ in the Pick-Up Artist (aka PUA) circles) to weed out the lesser (beta) males and select the best male to mate with. However, when you become the Alpha male, this whole scenario is turned on its head. YOU become the selector. The Alpha Male selects the women to mate with from his selection of women, who are throwing themselves at him, hoping that he chooses them to mate with. All the women want the best guy and as the Alpha Male, he is the one that they want. What would be better than having women compete to sleep with you??

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