congruent

How to be passionate in what you do – Gordon Ramsay (Kitchen Nightmares)

 

 

 

 

 

Who: Gordon Ramsay
From: Kitchen Nightmares (UK and USA)
Type: Celebrity Chef

 

What’s the clips about?

These clips are a great example of someone who has genuine passion for what they love to do and hold others to the same high standards that he holds for himself. The clips show how Ramsay is congruent in his thoughts and actions and how they align to his beliefs.

 

What should I watch out for?
  • Ramsay talks to everyone exactly as he feels. Notice how he doesn’t change how he speaks to people just because of their age, or gender. Watch the video of the two blondes trying to interrupt him, he just tells them exactly as he’s thinking. Those two girls would be used to guys (beta) putting them on a pedestal because of their looks but not Ramsay, he doesn’t suck up to no one.
  • In the ‘Manager Fired’ video, notice how Martin (the beta male) talks compared to Gordon. The beta male talks quickly and in a high pitched voice, he doesn’t seem to have conviction in what he is saying. Martin seems unable to look Ramsay in the eye. An Alpha Male stands up for what he believes in, he is not afraid to back down from a challenge – Ramsay stands up for what he is saying when Martin interrupts his meeting with the owner.
  • He isn’t afraid of people, he ignores social ‘rules’. Ramsay does as he needs to, to get what he wants. He invades people’s personal space, he doesn’t sugarcoat the negatives, he locks in eye contact and is more than happy to raise his voice to get his point across. In a crowded restaurant, you can hear Ramsay’s voice. He talks as if he is talking through you rather than to you.
  • Ramsay won’t back down from anyone. He is massively passionate about his cooking and business, and will defend his beliefs and techniques to everyone. Watch how when he shouts down the customer who complained about the beef, that the guy backs away from him and tries to seem tough as he is walking away, only to go back to his seat.
  • Ramsay leads from the front. He is willing to take risks to meet his goals for the restaurants he visits. He motivates people, challenging them when needed to get success. He is always thinking outside the box.

 

OK, how can I be like this guy?
  • Have belief in yourself. Stop believing that other people are better than you. Accept that you are perfec the way you are – you do not need someone else’s validation to decide if you are good or bad. Your opinion is worthy, just the same as everyone else’s.
  • Be congruent with what you do. Practice aligning your thoughts with how you act. In other words, if you think something needs to be sid or done then do it. Don’t sugar coat it or try to appease the other person. Stand up for what you believe in. Ensure that you remain 100% congruent, in other words do what needs to be done.
  • Don’t be afraid to go against the grain. beta males try to please everyone whereas a Alpha Male is willing to stand alone rather than say something that he doesn’t believe in.
  • Challenge people. If someone says something or does something that you do not believe in – challenge them. No One has the right to treat you like a piece of shit. No One. Do not let someone else’s opinion of you gauge how you feel about yourself. Speak your mind.
  • Be willing to lead from the front. Just because other people are remaining quiet on a subject, it doesn’t mean that you have too. An Alpha Male will go outside his comfort zone and is willing to take risks to obtain his goals.

 

A lot of people see Ramsay as a bully and not a Alpha Male but I think he stays on the Alpha Male side of the line. He’s passionate about his work, says as he thinks, takes control, leads people and so on. In my book, he’s an Alpha Male. What do you think? Let me know in the comments below.

And the best video ever:

Have Rules for your Life – Leroy Jethro Gibbs (NCIS

 

Character: Leroy Jethro Gibbs (guy with grey hair)
From: NCIS
Type:  Action Star

 

What is this  clip about?

In this clip, we see Gibbs’s rules for how to handle investigations and in general terms, life too. The video has been amended by the uploader to show the rules as captions (they are not all mentioned though), which can be annoying at first but it really hits home the message. ‘Gibbs’s Rules’ has become a central theme throughout NCIS. Gibbs is shown to be the boss and ‘father figure’ to his team and especially his Second-in-Command Very Special Agent Tony DiNozzo. When one of the team doesn’t know what to do, is troubled by something or has done something wrong, one of ‘Gibbs’s Rules’ is used to get the character back onto the right path. On a personal note, I have become a big fan of this show – it is on at my parents house a lot (my mother has a thing for Gibbs!). Gibbs to me is a real Alpha Male (he does have some bad faults though) but he is someone to aspire to be like – check out the show.

 

Why should I care?
  • Gibbs’s team look at him for what they should do, he is their guidance and support. By having clear and defined values about how you live your life, you can be someone for others to look up to, like Gibbs.
  • Gibbs is able to go after what he wants (typically to focus in on finding the murderer) because he has set rules about how he does things. By setting out what is and what isn’t acceptable in your life, you will find that you have better focus on what you want and be generally more successful as you will focus your energy on the thing that are most important.
  • Gibbs is respected by his peers, even by those who don’t like him. People respect him as he stands up for what he believes in and never wavers in his beliefs simply to appeal to someone else. Gibbs is true to his intentions and values, a defining characteristic of a Alpha Male.
  • Women find Gibbs attractive in the show as he adheres religiously to his rules. He cannot be swayed by money, power or a pretty girl (Gibb has a thing for redheads!). Gibbs is congruent to his own beliefs and core values, he changes for no-one – something that is very attractive to a girl. 1
  • Gibbs is a former Marine. Look at how tall and erect he is, his stance oozes authority and complete confidence in himself. He has great body language. He uses deep masculine tone, looks people in the eye. He only talks when he needs to. Gibbs is a great example of an Alpha Male.

 

OK I like it. How can I be like this dude?
  • Spend some time working out what you want from life. Decide on the behaviours that you will no longer find acceptable. Decide what you want to achieve in life, decide on the sort of people you want to be friends with and so forth. Basically, you need to setup values of what you will and won’t accept now in life. Then you must live your life adhering to your rules. It doesn’t matter what your rules are, if something is important to you, then it can be a rule. Don’t live by someone else’s rules.
  • Be vocal with what you belief. Don’t yammer on though like a preacher (an Alpha Male only talks when he has something important to say – no filler talk like a Beta male would use). Complain if someone does something that you don’t agree with. Stand up for yourself. Tell people what you stand for. You will find people accept what you say and the majority will not challenge you on your beliefs and accept them (for example, I’m sure you know someone who comes on nights out but never drinks alcohol – notice how no-one tries and forces him to drink alcohol. People accept his choices).
  • Start small if necessary. Make a stand once and you will find that it will give you confidence, you can use this confidence feeling to propel you to do it the next time and so on. The first time will seem the hardest. It seems hard simply because you are learning a new behaviour and like everything, there is a learning curve. Keep at it and your brain will accept it as your standard thinking. Standing up for what you believe in again and again, will create a momentum of confidence and you staying true to what you want. Eventually, your brain will adjust to these actions and beliefs and accept these as standard (yes, I know, a mighty simplification of how it works!).
  • Get good friends. There is an old saying that ‘You are the average of the five people you most hang around with‘ and it’s true. In the show Gibbs has a strong team (who will follow him if he goes against orders, regardless of what the Directors say), women who know what he will accept and won’t and friends who understand him and accept him for his beliefs and actions. Making a change in your life is hard, especially if you don’t have supportive friends/family behind your new life choices. Bad friends can be like crabs in a bucket – when one sees another about to escape the bucket, they pull it back in. Bad friends are like crabs (the seafood and that type too!), if they see you changing for the better, they will get scared and try to pull you back to their level. A lot of people don’t want to change – they need to make the decision to change. However, they don’t want others to change and will feel threatened by you wanting to better yourself. Take stock of who you hang around with. If they are not supportive, you should consider making new mates or going to new places. to surround yourself with a better class of person. Aim to surround yourself with people who are on the level you aspire to be. As the saying goes ‘if you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room.’ Try to maintain friends that make you want to better yourself and ‘level up’ to the same as them. Good friends will be there to congratulate you on your successes, analysis the failures with you and be your Wingman when you need it!

 

So what do you think? Is Gibbs an Alpha Male? Do you think and Alpha Male needs defined rules for how he runs his life? Let me know what you think in the comments section below.