Social Skills

#34 AJ Harbinger on how to improve your social skills

Episode: #34 AJ Harbinger on how to improve your social skills


Who: Today’s guest is co-founder of the Art of Charm, AJ Harbinger (@ajharbinger), who is one of the world’s top relationship development experts. His company, The Art of Charm, is a leading training facility for top performers that want to overcome social anxiety, develop social capital and build relationships of the highest quality. In this interview, we delve into what being social is, why it is important and creating frameworks for you to succeed and build the social skills and life that you wanted.


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What we cover

  • Who he is
  • The Art of Charm and why you need to check it – obtain improved social skills, better confidence and get better with the opposite sex
  • What being ‘social’ actually is and why you should analyse and improve your social abilities as soon as possible. Why do we need to be social?
  • Can you learn to be social or are you born with a level of social ability?
  • How the Art of Charm was built, where the need came from and what they teach.
  • Does he seem particular pain points with modern men – where do we struggle with our social abilities mainly?
  • Why he started to work on social skills and teach others – how helping others has allowed him to heal an old self-esteem issue
  • Social anxiety vs just not feeling it – how do you know when to seek help
  • How the mind builds new abilities – how should you work on changing your social skills and becoming ‘more social’
  • Building data points and why it is important
  • Identification of poor social communication
  • A breakdown on how to improve social skills – things to focus on in each interaction
  • Context: Emotional vs logical – how it affects social interactions
  • How you can become a better storyteller – learn to tell stories that will make people remember you
  • A great challenge that you can undertake today to build better connections with those around you
  • Why you need to learn how to become vulnerable around others – an example using my own experience!
  • How you can build a social circle, regardless of the environment or location you start in – AJ provides a brilliant framework on how to build a social life, block by block
  • How you can overcome the panic and nerves you will initially learn when you are working on building up your social skills (can be applied to any skill you wish to learn)
  • Routines and practices that AJ recommends all men build into their lives
  • Has the implementation of modern-day technology ruined modern men’s social skills
  • How you can overcome rejection – why you should actually seek it to overcome it
  • Confrontation – how to become better at it
  • What has AJ learned from running his own podcast and the similarities of successful people?
  • How AJ’s science background has helped him be more social and an example when his attempt at being social went wrong!
  • PAssing on social skills – how to ensure that you raise the men of the future to be social
  • How we can keep in touch with AJ and the ‘Art of Charm’
  • A little-known fact about him that he rarely tells
  • And so much more ?

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