The right way to be Assertive – Booth (Bones)

Who: Seeley Booth
From: Bones (TV Show)
What is this clip about: This clip is about Seeley Booth and the protective actions he makes to protect his partner Brennan. Booth is confident, aggressive and assertive to ensure his goals are met.

Booth who? Why should I care?

When most guys hear the term ‘Alpha Male’ and read up on it, they tend to get the wrong idea completely. Partly, due to some shitty advice on other websites, guys come away with the idea that to be a Alpha Male, you need to be the toughest dude in the house. Beginner guys think you need to throw the punches, insult everyone and push people around. Those guys get fucking nowhere fast.

When I thought of assertive people to show you, Booth came straight to mind. He dominates other men. He controls people who are considerably smarter than he is. He is admired and respected by his peers. He stands up for himself. I would like to be more like him too!

So what does he do that I should take note of?

He only uses violence (read: not the usual restraining of suspects) when absolutely necessary to protect his loved one. Booth protects what he holds dear to him. He willingly risks his FBI career a few times to protect Brennan (his work partner/lover). He aims to protect her above all – he even takes a bullet for her (before they are lovers). When she is hurt, he looks after her and reassures her when she is ill or hurt. Booth is Alpha enough to be himself and vulnerable with her (he remains authoritative and dominant with everyone else) When he protects Brennan, he is passionate and scary – this turns other ‘scary’ males to Beta.

Men shouldn’t control their partners but in this clip Booth tries to stop Brennan from being in trouble by controlling what she does. He does it for her own protection but in this case he is wrong.

In one scene, Booth has been shot while trying to rescue Brennan. He doesn’t care about his own physical pains until he has seen that Brennan is safe. Even when thing are against him or he is hurt, he still takes the lead and controls the other officers, to ensure success in the mission (in this case, to rescue Brennan). He never gives up on his goal, no matter how badly things are against him.

Guys he threatens know from his actions and passion, that he is serious, he doesn’t just talk

Listen to him. He uses a strong deep voice and people feel compelled to listen to him. He boosts this with strong deep eye contact and people feel almost scared to look else where.

He seems pretty cool, how can I be like him?

  • First off, cut the pretend macho bullshit. Booth is trained and is a good fighter but he only resorts to using controlled violence when he needs to (when apprehending a ‘bad’ guy etc). No girl is impressed of a guy who launches haymakers in a nightclub simply because a guy looks at his girlfriend. Being assertive is about standing up for what you believe in but not being a overt arsehole about it. You can be Alpha without needing to use your fists to prove it. When you resort to violence, you show your a beta male, who can’t be Alpha, he has to scare people into thinking he is Alpha.
  • Know what you stand for. Have opinions about things. In the series, Booth is a Catholic. Regardless of the number of times that Brennan questions or points out a Scientific theory as to how religion is wrong, Booth’s dedication to his religion never wavers. Be like Booth. Read up on things, use your mind, form your own opinions on topics. Once you have your views, defend them and stand up for yourself. That’s not to say to simply never to change them regardless (an Alpha Male can change his mind if he sees fit) but not to do so on a whim. Only change your viewpoints when you see enough evidence to support the change. Simply changing them to befriend someone is a weak move and a Beta Male action.
  • Booth is a FBI agent. He is used to interviewing suspects and controlling people as part of his job. You may not have the luxury of arresting people in your line of work but you can follow his lead. As Booth starts working with the ‘Squints’ (Brennan’s team) he is out of his depth at first but gradually builds up his confidence by using baby steps. This is what I would suggest to you. Start small. Do not try and be confrontational just for the sake of it. Pick the battles wisely. Start small and build. For example, you can start to argue back and stand up for yourself against a friend who is taking you for granted, complain back to a cashier or waiter who is being cheeky etc where normally you would have stayed quiet. Being assertive in these small situations will give you more and more confidence. Keep doing this and eventually you will be assertive like Booth.
  • Booth is pretty stacked. He obviously hits the gym – I’d advise you to do so too. You can be a Alpha Male without muscles but it is more the mental changes that working out brings you that I recommend working out. Firstly, the gym will give you muscles, which in turn make you more confident and confident people are usually more assertive. You will feel able to handle yourself, and therefore not hide away from confrontation and assert your views and opinions when challenged.
  • Dress as you want to dress. Booth wear a suit to work (FBI), which follows his works dress code but he adds his own individual twists to (for example, he wears his signature ‘Cocky’ belt buckle) throughout the series. Dressing as you want, will give you confidence in yourself and your appearance. This confidence can be used to be assertive.

Girls love a protective guy, but not someone who is overtly protective. You need to tread a very thin line on this … but get it right, and women will fall badly for you!

So what do you think? Would you want to be assertive like him? Have I got it all wrong? Let me know in the comments below … Thank you!

About the Author
I would modestly describe myself as a Website Badass, Blogging Guru and Self Improvement Wizard! I'm a blogger and entrepreneur who writes to help men develop and better their lives using examples from popular media. My personal journey has been marked by awkwardness and awesomeness, OCD and 'OMG'. I'm 33, a Teuchter and currently resides in the United Kingdom. I've set my own foot on fire whilst reading and been a midwife to sheep! I also run for your website needs!

3 comments on The right way to be Assertive – Booth (Bones)

  1. BRAND NEW POST! Wondered how to be assertive? Let Booth from Bones show you the right way

  2. Ryan says:

    I love this show! Booth is awesome. Notice how he doesn’t ask for respect. He assumes the people around him already respect him. Because of this, they usually do. Confidence is the cornerstone upon which the Alpha male is created.

    1. Anonymous says:

      This is so true. Confidence is the #1 thing that a girl normally wants in a guy. Booth is a great example as, like Ryan says, he assumes that people respect him, he knows he is an authority figure and a Alpha Male and that people are beta to him. Booth owns whatever he does and you should aim to do this too.

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