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What is it?

Character: James Bond (played by Daniel Craig)
From: James Bond Films!
Type: Film
Year: 2006
What is this clip about: James Bond meets the über sultry Vesper Lynd (Eva Green) for the first time and they sound each other out over dinner. This is my favourite film and this clip blew my mind the first time that I saw it. It is probably the first time in a James Bond movie that Bond is challenged by a ‘Bond Girl’. I am hoping to go into this scene further in future posts.

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Why should I watch it?

  • Bond and Vesper give a master class in the ability to shift who is holding the power in a conversation back and forth by simply what you say.
  • Bond sounds her out to see if she is worth his time. He makes her work to see if she is worth pursuing. He is self-amusing and doesn’t supplicate to her.
  • Bond tools her repeatedly and draws her in, she responds to him throughout. Bond is brilliant in how he engages women throughout the film.
  • Bond stays on the right side of confidence vs arrogance. He thanks her for mentioning his ass (which could lead to an arrogant reply), but he also uses self-depreciating language to avoid coming across as arrogant (sympathising with the skewered lamb).
  • Bond talks masculine in a deep and slow manner, maintains strong eye contact and dresses smartly. These all allow him to feel good within himself and project the confidence outward. He is also in great shape and this makes him feel confident and secure in himself.This clip is a great example of how you can draw confidence from your daily life.

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How can I do that?

  • Stop putting women on pedestals – stop making them ‘special’. A lot of dating guys will not put any serious work or be too bothered towards a woman in any way until he has slept with them.
  • Self-amuse around women. Go out simply to have fun – women are a secondary consideration. Build a life of great fun and excitment and women will be naturally attracted to you.
  • Look to hang around with people who challenge you and encourage you to learn new skills and better yourself. As the old saying goes: “if you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room!”
  • Have hobbies and interests that you enjoy and can talk about. Be interested in the world around you and during interactions with people.
  • Dress confidently and maintain the virtues of deep masculine tone, strong eye contact, get into shape etc.
  • Appreciate and enjoy the little things in life e.g. a great conversation.

So, who do you think won in that scene? Did it blow your mind or suck ass? Let me know in the comments below and then watch another!

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What is it?

Character: Lord Flashheart
From: Blackadder
Type: Comedy Stars
What is this clip about: Blackadder and George have decided to join the ’20 Minuters’ flying squad and are going to their first training lession … being led by Lord Flashheart!

Why should I watch it?

  • Lord Flashheart just doesn’t care. He struts in and says and he says and does as he wants. Notice how he swaggers in, with complete confidence (the character is meant to be sex-mad so he leads by the groin).
  • He completely controls the group of men, who all hang on his words (obviously except for Blackadder who hates him!). He assumes that they all love him and want to follow him. He tools people who are not completely down with his beliefs. He trusts in himself that the guys will follow him.
  • He builds emotional state in the group by making crude jokes, talking loudly and excitedly and gets them to join in by repeating catch-phrases  (a lot of dating guys will get you to do this sort of thing at the start of a night to build your state and loose your inhibitions). He becomes the ‘cool’ guy of the group and people gravitate towards the cool person in the group.
  • He has complete control. He takes up the room, he is loud, projecting his voice far, locks eye contact with anyone who speaks to him and just tells them, not asks, tells them what to do. It’s an over-dramatic display but you get the gist of it!

 

How can I do that?

  • Stop trying to befriend everyone. Stop caring and trying to please everyone – it’s not possible. Set your beliefs and stick to them. You can’t appease everyone but you will be happier inside by being true to your core values as a person.
  • People like to be led. Try talking a bit louder than other males. Lock in eye contact with people you speak to. Build an emotional state in them. Do this by talking excitedly about what you enjoy, bring others into the conversation, look to give value to others rather than leech value from others.
  • Some people will try and challenge you for leadership. Learn to deal with confrontation. Talk loudly when needed. Speak your mind and don’t try to suck up but ensure you speak as you believe. Some people are general dicks and you should just ignore them as it isn’t worth your time.
  • Leadership is about understanding what you followers need and supplying it to them but also about telling them how to do it. Practise giving people small orders and expand from there. People follow people who are good at helping them. Build your reputation as the go to guy for help by continually learning and developing yourself.
  • Try volunteering with coaching kids or something similar. Maybe look at doing some supervisor work in your job. Start small but learn to lead from the front. Any experience in leading others (no matter their age) is a major step in the right direction.

 

How was it? Did it blow your mind or suck ass? Let me know in the comments below and then watch another!

 

What is it?

Character: Muhammad Ali
From: Boxing
Type: Sport Stars
What is this clip about: Michael Parkinson is retiring and is showing clips of his favourite guests he has interviewed, Ali being one. In this video, there are different clips of their interviews and how Ali treads the line majestically between confidence and arrogance. Ali is perhaps the greatest boxer of all time yet, he never comes across as arrogant.

Why should I watch it?

  • Ali is considered the greatest boxer of all time. He made mountains of money and had every person around him telling him he was the greatest, yet Ali is self-aware throughout the interview, uses wit and irony and humour to just be himself. If he had been arrogant, he would have been more stand offish, he wouldn’t have been as open towards the ‘deeper’ questions (e.g. about getting hurt).
  • Ali had a big goal in his life and he worked hard towards achieving it. As he did so, Ali accumulated reference points from others, of how good he was (the numerous knockouts etc). Yet, he never becomes arrogant. He enjoys making others laugh, bringing the crowd into the fun and making the experience unforgettable for all. He appreciates his fans and loves to interact with them.
  • Watch Ali’s body language, it is a supreme display of self-confidence. He leans back and has open and inviting body language. When he talks, he locks on eye contact and talks slowly, clearly and in a deep masculine voice. Parkinson can’t help but be drawn into him, notice how Parkinson leans forward, like he is being sucked into the experience Ali is creating.
  • Ali dresses to impress. Ali took pride in his appearance and it gave him confidence to know he looked good. If he were arrogant, I would have expected him to bring a Championship belt to the interview.
  • Ali was aware that he has his faults. He knew that to be the best, he had to learn new skills and become the best at them. He analysed his opponents and got in their heads. He was humble enough to know they had weaknesses and he sought them out. Ali wasn’t stupid enough to assume he would always win regardless.
  • You won’t find anyone to say Ali is arrogant. Yet, everyone (of a certain age-range anyway) typically uses him when asked for a confident male.

 

How can I do that?

  • Like Ali, you need to get a goal in your life. Pick something that is far away from your current reality, and something that you will need to work hard to achieve it. You can’t get arrogant if you know you always need to improve. Life should always be about improvement and bettering yourself.
  • Be self-aware, you will know inside if you have become the sort of person that people will avoid. Watch other people’s reactions. Ask for feedback from them. It becomes apparent quickly when people are not impressed with how you are behaving (and most will tell you soon enough if you are being a arrogant dick!).
  • It is OK to be great at something but always remember that you can always learn something about it, you are never perfect. Be proud of your achievements but it should never be all there is about you.
  • Spend time with others, look to help them if possible. Ali is aware that others aren’t him, that others aren’t as good as him. He brings others into his experience, to make them have a great time. Do the same.
  • Become confident by working towards your goals. Use the successes as reference points to build your confidence. Use the failures as learning experiences. Always consider yourself a pupil learning and never the teacher and you should stay on the right side of confidence and never become arrogant.

 

How was it? Did it blow your mind or suck ass? Let me know in the comments below and then watch another!

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What is it?

Character: Jack Bauer
From: 24
Type: TV Star
What is this clip about: In this clip, we have numerous examples of Jack Bauer’s great tonality.

Why should I watch it?

  • Bauer’s has a deep masculine tone. When he talks his standard voice tone is louder than normal. He doesn’t just talk, it’s like he is talking right through the person (or whispers sinisterly), Bauer doesn’t hold back. This can be used to control women, tool chodes and the like.
  • Bauer gets right into the person’s proximity, he invades their personal space. He looks them in the eye and talks straight at (not to, AT them). He talks to them as if he is reprimanding a small child. People listen to him and act Beta towards him.
  • Bauer doesn’t fuck around. He asks direct and simple questions. There is no fluff in Bauer’s questions, he simply asks people exactly what he needs to, to get the information that he needs.
  • Notice that it doesn’t matter who the person is, man or woman, Bauer does the same to all.

How can I do that?

  • Don’t be scared to raise your voice, it’s not against the law. Talk louder (but stay clear) than normal. Build it up till you reach a level that feels natural and authoritative.
  • Look people in the eye, connect with women (or men) and imagine you are speaking only to them. Talk to them as if it’s only you and them in the world. Maintain that eye contact throughout but remember to blink!
  • Ask exactly what you mean, don’t sugar coat it. Do not hold back and especially do not try to pretend or sneak into someone’s affection – it just doesn’t work. Just man up and say what you mean.
  • Get up close to people. Invade the space around people that social norms means you would normally avoid. Girls see it as confidence, guys seem it as a dominant gesture and tend to back away from Alpha displays (be careful when doing this as it can leads to people drunk or coked up throwing punches). You will need to learn through trial and error what is too much and what is just right.
  • Practice it at every opportunity you can. Every social interaction (even with family) is a chance to work on your assertiveness and vocal tonality.

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How was it? Did it blow your mind or suck ass? Let me know in the comments below and then watch another!

 

What is it?

Character: Tallahassee
From: Zombieland
Type: Film Star
What is this clip about: It’s a montage of Tallahassee’s scenes in the epic Zombieland, one of my most favourite films of all time.

Why should I watch it?

  • He totally doesn’t give a fuck. He cracks jokes at the most inappropriate times and says exactly what he is thinking. He doesn’t supplicate for no one!
  • He does as he wants. He dresses exactly as he wants. He passionately pursues his goal in life (finding a Twinkie), no matter how stupid it may seem to others! Tallahassee has a goal in his life and he goes balls out to get it.
  • He can talk to men. He has bro time and wants to help and improve his mates.
  • Tallahasse has confidence in himself and his skills. He will put himself into dangerous situations to save others. He never panics, he just believes in himself and what he can do, no matter how scary the odds are.
  • He has fun, purely for the … erm … fun of it! Like kids do, Tallahassee just does things for the pure enjoyment of it, not to suck up or make others laugh. He doesn’t bottle things up, he just lets his frustrations out in ‘healthy’ ways (well in a Zombie apocalyptic society anyway!)
  • He doesn’t play up to impress any girls. He dances, he doesn’t care what she thinks, he does his own things (reenacting the Slimer scene from ‘Ghostbusters’ with Bill Murray is typical of him) no matter how geeky it may seem to the hot girl.
  • He’s genuinely grateful for the help from others (her finding him the Twinkie). He appreciates the little things.

Continue reading

Who: Seeley Booth
From: Bones (TV Show)
What is this clip about: This clip is about Seeley Booth and the protective actions he makes to protect his partner Brennan. Booth is confident, aggressive and assertive to ensure his goals are met.

Booth who? Why should I care?

When most guys hear the term ‘Alpha Male’ and read up on it, they tend to get the wrong idea completely. Partly, due to some shitty advice on other websites, guys come away with the idea that to be a Alpha Male, you need to be the toughest dude in the house. Beginner guys think you need to throw the punches, insult everyone and push people around. Those guys get fucking nowhere fast.

When I thought of assertive people to show you, Booth came straight to mind. He dominates other men. He controls people who are considerably smarter than he is. He is admired and respected by his peers. He stands up for himself. I would like to be more like him too!

So what does he do that I should take note of?

He only uses violence (read: not the usual restraining of suspects) when absolutely necessary to protect his loved one. Booth protects what he holds dear to him. He willingly risks his FBI career a few times to protect Brennan (his work partner/lover). He aims to protect her above all – he even takes a bullet for her (before they are lovers). When she is hurt, he looks after her and reassures her when she is ill or hurt. Booth is Alpha enough to be himself and vulnerable with her (he remains authoritative and dominant with everyone else) When he protects Brennan, he is passionate and scary – this turns other ‘scary’ males to Beta.

Men shouldn’t control their partners but in this clip Booth tries to stop Brennan from being in trouble by controlling what she does. He does it for her own protection but in this case he is wrong.

In one scene, Booth has been shot while trying to rescue Brennan. He doesn’t care about his own physical pains until he has seen that Brennan is safe. Even when thing are against him or he is hurt, he still takes the lead and controls the other officers, to ensure success in the mission (in this case, to rescue Brennan). He never gives up on his goal, no matter how badly things are against him.

Guys he threatens know from his actions and passion, that he is serious, he doesn’t just talk

Listen to him. He uses a strong deep voice and people feel compelled to listen to him. He boosts this with strong deep eye contact and people feel almost scared to look else where.

Continue reading

2005

In their 80’s Hay-day

 

Who: Mötley Crüe
Type: Music Stars
What are these clips about: In these clips, there are two different versions (the 2005 is a liv version while the 80’s version is the official music video) of Mötley Crüe’s song ‘Girls, Girls, Girls’. Despite the difference in time, Mötley Crüe demonstrates how to use your image and the environment you create to attract girls!

 

So what is it they do?

 

You may like or hate their music, but their is no denying that Mötley Crüe got a shitload of pussy. You can do it too without having to get tattoos or play a musical instruement!

  • Be self amusing. Notice how the guys are laughing and fooling around in the strip club and not really paying attention to the girls. They are able to make their own fun regardless of what is happening. It isn’t hard to imagine that they can be the life and soul of any party. Girls love guys who are self-amusing. They want to be with the cool guy(s), not the ones that they can wrap around their finger. Go out to have fun, picking up women should be secondary. Strange as it may seem but by having fun, usually means you end up attracting women to you as a given.

 

  • They dont pander to the women as the rest do. The rest of the club are fawning over the half naked girls. Our Alpha’s do what they want and have fun together. The guys from Crue, aren’t putting the girls on a pedestal lik your typical guy who is desperate. The Motley guys are showing the girls that they don’t need to sleep with them, that they have other options – that having fun is more important. Girls don’t like this – it makes them try harder to attract you as they assume that you have hotter girls in your life. They want to be the best girl. By the guys pretending that they aren’t interested, the girls in return try harder to win them over. It’s a strange dynamic but it works!

 

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