Who: Seeley Booth
From: Bones (TV Show)
What is this clip about: This clip is about Seeley Booth and the protective actions he makes to protect his partner Brennan. Booth is confident, aggressive and assertive to ensure his goals are met.

Booth who? Why should I care?

When most guys hear the term ‘Alpha Male’ and read up on it, they tend to get the wrong idea completely. Partly, due to some shitty advice on other websites, guys come away with the idea that to be a Alpha Male, you need to be the toughest dude in the house. Beginner guys think you need to throw the punches, insult everyone and push people around. Those guys get fucking nowhere fast.

When I thought of assertive people to show you, Booth came straight to mind. He dominates other men. He controls people who are considerably smarter than he is. He is admired and respected by his peers. He stands up for himself. I would like to be more like him too!

So what does he do that I should take note of?

He only uses violence (read: not the usual restraining of suspects) when absolutely necessary to protect his loved one. Booth protects what he holds dear to him. He willingly risks his FBI career a few times to protect Brennan (his work partner/lover). He aims to protect her above all – he even takes a bullet for her (before they are lovers). When she is hurt, he looks after her and reassures her when she is ill or hurt. Booth is Alpha enough to be himself and vulnerable with her (he remains authoritative and dominant with everyone else) When he protects Brennan, he is passionate and scary – this turns other ‘scary’ males to Beta.

Men shouldn’t control their partners but in this clip Booth tries to stop Brennan from being in trouble by controlling what she does. He does it for her own protection but in this case he is wrong.

In one scene, Booth has been shot while trying to rescue Brennan. He doesn’t care about his own physical pains until he has seen that Brennan is safe. Even when thing are against him or he is hurt, he still takes the lead and controls the other officers, to ensure success in the mission (in this case, to rescue Brennan). He never gives up on his goal, no matter how badly things are against him.

Guys he threatens know from his actions and passion, that he is serious, he doesn’t just talk

Listen to him. He uses a strong deep voice and people feel compelled to listen to him. He boosts this with strong deep eye contact and people feel almost scared to look else where.

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In their 80’s Hay-day


Who: Mötley Crüe
Type: Music Stars
What are these clips about: In these clips, there are two different versions (the 2005 is a liv version while the 80’s version is the official music video) of Mötley Crüe’s song ‘Girls, Girls, Girls’. Despite the difference in time, Mötley Crüe demonstrates how to use your image and the environment you create to attract girls!


So what is it they do?


You may like or hate their music, but their is no denying that Mötley Crüe got a shitload of pussy. You can do it too without having to get tattoos or play a musical instruement!

  • Be self amusing. Notice how the guys are laughing and fooling around in the strip club and not really paying attention to the girls. They are able to make their own fun regardless of what is happening. It isn’t hard to imagine that they can be the life and soul of any party. Girls love guys who are self-amusing. They want to be with the cool guy(s), not the ones that they can wrap around their finger. Go out to have fun, picking up women should be secondary. Strange as it may seem but by having fun, usually means you end up attracting women to you as a given.


  • They dont pander to the women as the rest do. The rest of the club are fawning over the half naked girls. Our Alpha’s do what they want and have fun together. The guys from Crue, aren’t putting the girls on a pedestal lik your typical guy who is desperate. The Motley guys are showing the girls that they don’t need to sleep with them, that they have other options – that having fun is more important. Girls don’t like this – it makes them try harder to attract you as they assume that you have hotter girls in your life. They want to be the best girl. By the guys pretending that they aren’t interested, the girls in return try harder to win them over. It’s a strange dynamic but it works!


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Character: Randy Orton
What is this clip about: This clip is a two minute montage of the ‘look’ Randy Orton is famous of giving – like his eye contact is penetrating your very soul.
From: WWE
Type: Sport

Who’s this dude then?

Good eye contact is one of the most important things that you can learn and will help you get better with women. However, most guys can’t look at anybodies eyes for more than a few seconds, nevermind a girls! So we need to use a role model to show you some basics. For this, I’ve gone for the master of the RKO (look it up on Youtube)!

Randy Orton. Orton is a ‘third-generation’ superstar (his father and grandfather were also wrestlers too) and there’s no one better to demonstrate the eye contact that I keep banging on about.

Now every wrestler gets a persona or a gimmick. They get nicknames and a image to play to. Their chance of success in the business (and earning potential) depends on how well they can sell their gimmick to the fans. Most wrestlers do an OK job, with the top performers earning top dollar. Orton however seems to be actually living his.

Orton is known as ‘the Viper’. He plays the role of a cold-blooded killer, waiting to strike at any moment perfectly.

When you watch the video, notice how Orton seems to look straight through you when his face is turned towards the camera. His eyes seem to penetrate through you. He has a way of making his face look snake-like before it strikes. Orton is brilliant at focusing his gaze through the ‘target’ and looking ‘evil’.

Yep, that’s all great for the cameras, but what use is this to me?

Today’s post is going to be a short intro into good eye contact but you can still learn a lot from watching Orton in this short video.

  • Look at the person in the eyes (yep that simple) but act as if you are looking through them to a few feet past them.
  • Keep your face loose. Don’t tighten the rest of the face as this can seem aggressive to others.
  • Know … don’t think … know that you are a Alpha Male. Know that you are attractive the way you are. Use this confidence to fuck a girl with your eyes. As you talk to her, imagine that you are looking through her bullshit, straight to her base needs. She wants to fuck. Show her that you are the man for her with your eyes and your confidence will do this.
  • Remember to blink! No stalker eyes.
  • If you’re struggling, aim to work a three point triangle. The top point is the person’s eyes. The other points are to the left and right of the person. Look the person in the eyes as much as possible but when you feel that you can’t continue, look to one of the other points (left or right of the person) and return back to the person as soon as possible. The outside two points are for quick relief only. I found this idea really helpful when I was trying to build up my eye contact ability.

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The following is a short post based on a TV programme that I watched the other night. It’s one of those shows that when you’ve seen it once, you just fall in love with the girls (and their varying degrees of desperation) and how good/bad the guys can be in their attempt to game the girls.

‘Take Me Out’ is a UK based TV show that is a twist on the standard dating show. A single guy must work his way through several rounds (of challenges) where 30 girls decide whether they are interested in going on a date with him or not. During the last round, the format is changed and the guy decides, which one (if any are!) of the girls still ‘in’ he wants to date.If the girl is interested, she leaves her light white, if she’s not, she turns it red.

This show is awesome as it shows a varying degree of confidence, dress sense, what other guys do to impress girls, how guys win girls over and (as you will see in the following video) turn them off! Tonight, I got a little bored and found these two great examples of the good and the bad. Some of what they do is ok, some sucks badly. See if you can spot them!

The More Beta Male:

To get you started: He reacts to social pressure, worries how people are responding to him, tools incorrectly etc. It’s a cringe worthy show!

The More Alpha Male:

To get you started: Confident but not too cocky. He utilises his strengths. He lets the girls game him.

So what do you reckon? Have I got this wrong? Is the ‘Beta male’ actually more Alpha? Is the ‘Alpha male’ actually a true Beta male? What Alpha Male traits do you see them each having? Let me know in the comments below – see what you’ve learned so far.

Character: The Rock (Dwayne Johnson)
From: WWE (Professional Wrestling)
Type: Sport
Year: 2004

What is the scene about?:

In this scene, ‘The Rock’ (Dwayne Johnson) has shockingly returned to the WWE after an absence. He interrupts the ‘RAW Diva Search’ competition – this weeks installment been run by Jonathan ‘The Coach’ Coachman – and takes charge. Now, I don’t care what you think about professional wrestling, you can love it or hate it but I stand by my opinion, that no-one can entertain and own a room like Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson. This guy has a room of thousands following his every word. He talks with such passion and intensity, you feel drawn into what he is saying. I don’t doubt that every women there wanted to fuck him and every guy wanted to be him.

In this clip, he interrupts, delights the crowd, flirts with some hot women and ‘fights’ a couple of people. This is also a perfect comparison scene between the beta (Coach) and the Alpha (The Rock) male and how women react to him and social proof.


What makes him an AM:

00.01 – 00.51 Coach is in the ring. He is trying to stamp his authority and appear ‘macho’ to the women. He is failing miserably. As a Beta male, he is attempting to come across as Alpha and dominant. As it is not really in his character, it comes across as fake and pathetic (and very Beta).

00.51 – 02.58 The Rock enters. For this time, he doesn’t say anything. He simply struts down to the ring in a confident manner and shows his authority (a type of  peacocking – doing something to stand out from the other guys e.g. outrageous clothing. It is like when a peacock displays their tail feathers. The girl peacock goes for the best display and mates with him. Dating guys used to use this principle years ago. They thought by standing out from the crowd, they’d be more attractive – typically though they just looked like fucking idiots. thankfully it has come on dramatically now and few do this anymore) by showing his muscles, and plays to the crowd by interacting with them. He doesn’t need to speak a word, he just lets the crows build in excitement. They know from previous experience of how funny, alpha and witty he is, so he lets the love from the crowd build to a maximum. He knows they desire to see him, so he lets them build in the excitement before he talks.

02.58 – 4.07 The Rock tools the beta male (Coach). He could easily beat him up but it would kill his attraction (in the real world it would anyway – wrestling is different!). Women love a funny and witty guy who is able to take the mickey out of people, but they HATE violent people. Notice how the Rock stands more upright. His body language is wide and open. He paces about and you can almost feel the intensity he has. When he talks, he has a deep masculine tone. He talks slow but when it speeds up, it has passion and intensity. You believe what he is saying, you know he believes it to be true.

04.11 – 04.28 Once he has dealt with the Beta male, he turns his attention to the women. His conduct has more of a sexual nature to it now. He is flirty, confident almost to the point of cocky but he treads a thin line here. Now in this scenario, the Rock is attractive as the wrestling is hyped up more than normal life, so the Rock can be really loud and almost vulgar at times yet gets away with it. However, you would need to be a bit more toned down but still confident and cocky in a bar or club situation, especially as you learn it at first. The Rock starts to demonstrate his appeal to the ladies. He starts pea-cocking by displaying muscles, showing social proof (how much the crowd love him), using sexual connotations on his words and so on.

4.29 – 05.50 The Rock starts to flatter the girls but he keeps just on the right side of sleazy. He could easily sound desperate and perverted if he got the tone and nature of what he said wrong. He demonstrates confidence in himself and his sex appeal without sounding ridiculous. He knows the point to make a joke to avoid seeming arrogant (after the comment about how ‘fine the Rock’ is). Confidence is great, arrogance isn’t. Work on reading the point when you have moved more towards arrogance and use self-depreciating humour to show you are confident but self-aware. He know’s women find him hot and want to bed him but he doesn’t have to flaunt it in people’s faces or try and get them to believe it. He just needs to be himself.

05.50 – 06.30 To further amp his emotional state, and to show more social proof (and prove that he has numerous options to the girls), he brings another girl into the conversation (at ringside). He looks directly at her and turns his body language to her. He continues his balance of jokey and sexual commentary, bringing the girl into the conversation, who until now had been watching. The Rock is great at making the girl feel like she is the only girl in the world as he speaks to her but also involve everyone else too. He builds the chemistry with her, he insults her but does so in a playful manner*, the Rock shows it is a jest and she plays along by showing responsive pretend outrage but returns eye contact and leans forward showing she is into him. Things like mock outrage, playing ‘reprimanding’ slaps on the arm from the girl etc are what you want. Slaps across the face, not so much!

*(I disagree with using ‘Negs’ – intentional negative comments to a girl to bring her down when doing a push/pull approach. I disagree with them as I feel that you shouldn’t need to bring her down when pulling her. You should be bringing her up and pumping up her emotional state – but that’s more for another post)


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Character: Jack Bauer

From: 24

Type: TV Show


What is it about:

This is one of my favourite clips. Jack Bauer has gained some intel on the whereabouts of kidnapped Secretary of Defense James Heller and his daughter Audrey Raines (Jack’s secret girlfriend). A extremist group have kidnapped the two, ready to kill Heller online for his perceived crimes against their people. The American Government, trying to avoid the backlash such an event would cause, are ready to blow up the compound to stop the murder been shown live. Jack has hardly any time to save Heller and have the missile flying towards the compound aborted.


Why this is a great example of a Alpha Male in Action:

  • Jack stays calm under pressure. He is greatly outnumbered but he doesn’t panic. He simply works towards his game plan in his rescue efforts. Even when Jack can’t find Audrey – after she has been moved from her cell – Jack continues forward with his mission. He doesn’t panic or go off looking for Audrey – he knows that Heller is in immediate danger and must rescue him first. Jack has his priorities and follows through on them.
  • Jack controls James Heller and keeps him safe. Even when Jack is shot, he tells Heller what to do, to keep him safe.
  • Jack talks in a deep, authoritative tone. People listen to him and do as he says.
  • Jack doesn’t use filler words or suck up to Heller. He tells him what he needs to do and only that. He doesn’t say anymore than he needs to do to achieve his goals.
  • Jack is a great example of a Alpha Male focused solely on his goals. Notice how he doesn’t deviate from his plan he keeps on trying to rescue the hostages. He doesn’t panic or hide. He knows what needs done and goes to achieve it.

Jack Bauer is a great Alpha Male. Some of what he does is a bit OTT and intense due to the nature of his work but you can learn a lot from watching him.

Jack Bauer is a favourite character of mine, how do you rate him? Let me know in the comments below

Character: Sherlock Holmes
Type: TV Show
Shown: BBC Three
Year: Started 2010 – Ongoing


What is the scene about?:

In this scene, Sherlock Holmes is meeting Dr. John Watson for the very first time. Dr Watson has been brought to meet Sherlock Holmes to see if they would be suitable to share a flat together. Before the subject can be brought up, Sherlock answers John’s questions before he has time to even think them!


What makes him an AM:

Sherlock is an Alpha Male but not in the traditional sense. When you think of Alpha Males you visualise action film stars such as James Bond or Jason Bourne beating people up, getting the girl and so on. However, this is an incorrect viewpoint. Alpha males control the situation and are the most powerful in the group, others respond to them in kind. Sherlock displays how you can be brainy and be alpha too.

00.00 – 00.15 Sherlock ignores John and Mike when they enter. He doesn’t respond to them coming into the room by issuing a welcoming i.e. showing that John and Mike are on the same level as him (Please note that this although shows power, it also comes across as rude and can alienate people). John, perturbed by Sherlock not greeting him, looks around the room, in a beta male fashion not confident in the situation. Sherlock simply continues with his work

00.26 – 00.36 John responds to Sherlock’s first words (a question if he can borrow Mike’s phone) by saying he can use his phone (John is somewhat eager to please – a beta move). In response to John offering, Sherlock locks eye contact with John for a few seconds. Then Sherlock walks over and collects the phone. Immediately, Sherlock starts texting and looks away from John – at this point, he starts to ask John a question (about where he served in the Army). Sherlock asked for what he needed, when he got it, he carried on with the action that he needed to do.

00.36 – 00.47 Notice that he doesn’t look at John – Sherlock knows that he has John’s attention, that he is the most important thing in the room and of course, John will be looking at him. Sherlock ignores John’s questioning reply, so John looks to Mike for answers and reassurances as the Alpha male isn’t paying attention to him. When John finally answers Sherlock’s question (about the location he served in) he looks down to the floor as he answers. This is a submissive move by John (i.e. he is bowing to the more senior male in the room, showing that he is more dominant), showing he has accepted Sherlock as the Alpha male in the pack. John plucks up the courage to question Sherlock but Sherlock simply dismisses his question by looking away and announcing his ‘servant’ has arrived (Molly with his coffee).

00.51 – 00.58 Completely ignoring John, Sherlock turns to Molly (who has just arrived with his coffee) and questions her on where her lipstick has gone to (earlier in the episode, she had been wearing lipstick to appeal to Sherlock and he voiced his dislike of it – she has since removed it from her face to try and win back favor with Sherlock). Molly explains that she has removed it. Sherlock without any ‘sugar coating’ to his thoughts, simply states to her what he believes (e.g. it makes her mouth now look too small). This is a good Alpha male trait here – saying what is on your mind and not holding back due to concern about what someone else may think. An Alpha male will not apologise for what he believes and will speak his mind.

Notice how Sherlock turns his back as he talks to her and walks away. Sherlock is voicing what he believes, he doesn’t care for her reaction, he is not pandering to the girl – this is a big thing to learn! Remove the girl from the pedestal, let her try to win you over.

01.01 – 01.13 Sherlock asks John a question but he doesn’t look at him. Sherlock knows that he is the ‘Top Dog’ in the room and that everyone will be listening to him. John queries Sherlock as he doesn’t really understand why he is asking, not what he is asking. Sherlock repeats it (as if John doesn’t understand him) and also gives him further information this time to ensure he is understood. This time though Sherlock looks at John to check that he understanding, giving John a ‘reassuring’ smile to appear warmer to John, as if he is trying to encourage him to follow what he is saying.

01.13 – 01.43 John starts to question Sherlock about why  he would mention about them possibly being flat mates (he again looks to Mike, to try and get some reassurance from him as the Alpha male – Sherlock – is ignoring him and being in total control, something John as a military man is not used to). Again, Sherlock ignores John’s questions and start getting ready to leave. An Alpha Male knows that his time is valuable and will not engage in any activity that is not of benefit to him. Sherlock has decided that the interview is finished, he has vetted John enough. He decides to leave the office, knowing that John will do as he says.

01.46 – 02.19 Sherlock turns in annoyance at Johns questioning ramble. Notice how John talks fast as he if panicking now that the Alpha is leaving, he needs some answers and is pleading with the Alpha to engage him again. Sherlock talks slowly and calmly throughout the clip – another sign of confidence and being an alpha male.

Sherlock again locks in the eye contact. He turns to John, with his body language open and facing him, and addresses why he thinks what John has said is incorrect. Sherlock is, not for the first time, saying exactly what he thinks openly and honestly. At the end of Sherlock talking, John again looks down to the floor as he plays Beta male again, accepting what Sherlock says to be correct.

02.19 – 02.29 Sherlock turns back, but with his body language still facing towards the exit. He tells John the details about the house visit but it is merely a afterthought, he knows John is under his spell now and will come along with him. He doesn’t need to go back or plead to John to come along. He knows that John will come and he can now focuses on what he wants to do, which is to leave the room. Sherlock leaves the room and leaves John to stand stunned and again look to Mike for reassurance.

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Character: Edward ‘Eddie’ Morra (played by Bradley Cooper)
Film: Limitless
Year: 2011

What is the scene about?:

Eddie is meeting his ex girlfriend, Lindy (played by a hot Abbie Cornish) after been separated for a while. At the start of the film, she dumps Eddie as she has fallen out of love with him, as she has lost respect for him. However, Eddie discovers a wonder drug that lets him learn using his full brain capacity and the results are life-changing! This is the first meeting between the two since Eddie has started harnessing his true power of development.

What makes him an AM:

Eddie is sitting upright, facing Lindy full on. By facing her full on, he is showing open, inviting body language, his non verbal signs are that he is powerful, open and is focused solely on her. He isn’t slouched or looking around, which are Beta behaviours.

00.01 – 00.17: As the waitress approaches, Eddie gives her his full focus. He chats to the waitress in Italian and cracks some jokes and is a bit flirty. Notice that Lindy isn’t sure where to look. She is taken aback by his new skills but is trying to avoid showing her surprise and love of it. Girls never want to show that they are falling for you. They want you to pass their congruence tests and work hard for them – they want the guy to do the running and be the prize for the man. Eddie has flipped the script here by not playing the typical game of the man chasing the girl and being supplicating to her (read: putting her on a pedestal and worshipping her!).

When Eddie chats to the waitress, he is showing that his sociable, easily at home in fancy restaurants and is full of confidence. Lindy knows that he has options (to fuck!), Eddie has taken her off the pedestal that he once had her on (at the start of the film). She is no longer the sole women he has options to, Lindy sub consciously knows that Eddie can go out and get another girl whenever he wants.

00.21 – 00.42: As his ex recovers her composure, she throws – what seems like – a casual question into the conversation. When they are discussing his new talent with speaking Italian, She mentions “I hope you didn’t do it for me?”. This appears on the surface as a bitchy question, as if she is saying that she hopes he never learnt it to impress her (something the old Eddie and a Beta male would have done) as it didn’t work and she is isn’t interested.

However, if you look at this question from a deeper level, you realise it is also a congruence test. Lindy is falling for Eddie again. On her unconscious level, she is scared that he may be the same Eddie as the weak Eddie in the beginning of the film and she needs reassurances that he has changed. Girls do this is in the clubs and pubs worldwide all the time. They have so many mating options that they can literally pick and choose whoever they want. As they have so many options, they have to come up with tests to eliminate the weaker options, so they are left with the best options available to mate with (or in today’s society – to sleep with). Lindy is seeing if the old Eddie will resurface and this new image and confidence is an act. Notice that the camera focuses on Lindy for a few seconds after Eddie says “No” and references it to his self-development month. Lindy appears shocked. Her ego wanted Eddie to say it was for her. Lindy wanted Eddie to admit his undying love for her (like he does at the start of the film) to give her a confidence boost but she would also be repulsed by him if he did say it. As Eddie states he learnt the language for himself and doesn’t apologise for anything, Lindy is taken aback but you can tell that Eddie has passed her test, the confidence he is showing is real. Change scares people, they always want you to be the same person, particularly if you were a weaker male) then them before. That is why you should look to make real changes to you inner game rather than learn some routines (that won’t work as your behaviour will show its not congruent with the real you.


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