Month: August 2012

How to Prove Yourself – Matt Weston

 

WHO ARE WE LOOKING AT?

Who: Matt Weston

Actor: Ryan Reynolds

Film: Safe House (2012)

 


Why Look At Him? As much as I wanted to look at the Tobin Frost character in this article – as he is pretty badass – I had to choose Weston however as he is the virtuous hero of the piece and there is too much of the Frost character that I would have had to keep alluding to and advising people not to become like! Weston though has a lot going for him too and is a great character to write about.

At the beginning of the film, Weston is a lowly CIA operative, who is tasked with looking after the most basic of field work. He is given the role of ‘House Keeper’, the CIA agent who looks after a ‘Safe House’ – a location that offers field agents protection, equipment, medical supplies and other needed items when they are out in the field. However, the ‘Safe House’ is also somewhere that the CIA(and others) can move a high profile target to pump him for information, keep him hidden from allies and possible danger as well as prime him to be moved to a more secure location like a prison etc.

As the film progresses, Weston moves from being an inexperienced character to becoming a seasoned operative by being hurled headfirst into dealing with one of the most experienced operatives ever and learning the ropes fast. The film follows Weston as he tries to keep Frost safe from assassins, avoid losing Frost and take Frost to another safe-house.

Despite the pressure applied to him by Frost and the lack of faith in him by his employers, Weston develops into a serious badass and becomes the hero by the end of the film. Yet, more importantly, it is the journey that Weston goes on that makes him a great character to analyse. With a little tweaking you can use what he did to ‘prove yourself’ and achieve great things.

 


WHY SHOULD I CARE ABOUT HIM THOUGH?

No matter who we are, we all reach a point in our lives where we have a decision to make. You reach a point where you can either stay at the level that you find yourself in or you can decide to push yourself hard to move onto that next level and the goodies that it brings.

When you get to this stage, you have a straightforward choice. Remain in your comfort zone and see your development plateau or you can decide to pursue your dreams but take a chance at failing and encountering danger and problems along the way. To get to that next level, you need to prove yourself. Sometimes that this means proving you are capable to your boss, a coach or similar. However, on occasion, it can simply be a case of proving to yourself that you are capable of being better and can do what you want to achieve in life.

To prove oneself, to others or (more importantly in the long run) yourself, you need to step away from your comfort zone and take risks. You need to throw yourself into learning new skills, upping the level of responsibility that you accept and putting some serious field work time in. That is what Weston did, albeit he was forced into action!

Sadly, the journey is not always straight forward or hassle free. You will encounter problems and probably a lot of them. There’s no getting around that. Weston encountered a lot of strife as he tried to prove himself. You will too. It is the journey that you take that changes you into either a great man or the same as everyone else. By leaving your own ‘safe-house’ and facing the challenges to prove yourself, you become one of the unique people in life who don’t accept the normal life and instead go for the next level.

However, the sort of extreme event that propels people to change, like in Weston’s case, rarely happens (unfortunately). Some people are lucky where there is an event that forces them to step up, pushes themselves hard and prove their capabilities. They realise that where they are just now isn’t ‘safe’ where they are and it pushes them to strive to change and reach their next level ‘safe house’. The problem is though, that this rarely happens. A life altering event rarely happens. Few of us will ever encounter such an event that forces you to change. The majority of us will remain at the level that we are at and it is solely up to us to decide what we do or do not do.

So how can you do that if you do not have a life altering moment where your safe life is attacked? You can look to characters like Weston, who show how pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone can bring you experiences and riches outside of your wildest dreams. You use the transformation of Weston and other such characters to motivate you, to spur you on. Just because you don’t have that root cause that Weston had, you can still become a high level operative too.

How? Simple. Keep reading …

 

OK, I’M INTERESTED, WHAT SHOULD I BE LOOKING OUT FOR THEN?

  • He is skilled.  Despite being desperate to improve himself, Weston finds himself contained in a low level position with little happening daily. He stares at the same four walls everyday and doesn’t have many people using his ‘Safe house so he finds it hard to gain any real experience. However, Weston does not let his lack of chances to prove himself hold him back. He has a daily routine to keep himself in shape and on control of his skills. For example, Weston spends time working on his unarmed combat by punching the bag as well as learning new languages using language podcasts and so on. Weston keeps himself learning and using his skills as much as possible to keep them up to date. You need to do this too. It doesn’t matter what you are doing, if you are pushing your comfort zone or not, you need to keep on top of all of your current skills to succeed.
  • He is an amateur dealing with professionals. Something that you notice quickly, is that Weston is out of his depth … big time! He is an amateur trying to hang in there with a seasoned professional. This means that Weston has a steep learning curve. As bad as it seems for Weston and as bad as it sounds, its actually what you want. Weston had no choice but you should look for it. If you stay with people you are comfortable with and do the same things as normal, you will plateau hard. Only by involving yourself with more talented and experienced people and trying new things can you really move onto the next level. There’s an old saying ‘if you are the most X (intelligent, smart or whatever) in the room, you are in the wrong room’. No matter what your mission is, you need to find people who are more experienced in the task that you want to do. You need to find people who will motivate you, challenge you and push you to learn and become more experienced. Whatever new thing you are doing, you will be an amateur. You need to find the professionals in that area to show you the ropes and help you become a professional too.
  • He’s easy to manipulate at the start but learns. A big part of Weston’s character is that he is a ‘greenhorn’ operative. That means he is a novice and not experienced. As he doesn’t really know the ropes, he is easily manipulated by the more seasoned (and sometimes) corrupt people he deals with. Unfortunately, you may encounter this as you try to learn the ropes during your mission. Some people will try and take advantage of your inexperience. Some people will try and manoeuvre you into doing what they want. Unfortunately, the only real way to tell apart the people who are trying to help you and the ones who are really hindering you is to engage daily as you try to achieve your mission. Theorising and thinking will not really help you. You cannot truly learn by looking at papers or at a computer screen. You learn by doing, by taking part, by performing on site. Like Weston, you will learn as you take part. Planning will get you started but the only way to win, is to take that first step … then the next one … then the next one and basically keep going until you achieve your mission.
  • He does what he needs to do to complete his mission or tasks. A big part of Weston that appeals, is how determined he is. Weston may lack the skills of the other operatives but he makes up for it (mostly) by how motivated and intense he is in going after his goals and pushing himself past pain and mental anguish to get there. Look, you are going to suck when you start. Any goal you pick, will most likely be a new experience for you. You won’t be experienced in it, so you will be really bad and fail most of the time (at the start anyway). Yet, if you keep going, you will slowly learn the ropes, become more experienced and start to see some great success. However, to do that, it will take guts. You will need to be intensely focused on your goals and become desperate to achieve it, no matter the time it takes, the challenges you face or the severity of the opposition you encounter. Like Weston, you need to see your goals and only your goals. You need to know your goal in-depth and shut out external distractions. Your goal should become all that consumes and drives you.

 

 

OK – HOW CAN I BECOME LIKE HIM?

  • Choose your target. The most important decision that you make will be of the target that you pick. The mission you select must be so epic that it engulfs your life. Your target will need to get you out of bed pumped up and ready to take on the world. Start by looking at your life and deciding what it is that you most want to do. Weston had his missions given to him. You won’t have that luxury. You need to pick a mission so large that it becomes your sole focus. Once you have your mission, you can then work out what you need to do to achieve that mission, the tasks that need completed and the skills that you will need to acquire. Once you know that, all you got to do is complete each of the tasks with as much effort as you can.
  • Give 100%. I don’t think I need to really say much about this one. You need to work your ass off towards achieving your mission 100%. That is the real key to all this. Once you have your mission, it’s all about the level of effort that you put in that will determine if you fail or succeed. Effort can overcome people disliking you. Effort can overcome lack of qualifications and experience. Effort can overcome many of the struggles you will face. However, none of the latter can overcome a lack of effort. Either try hard or fail. It’s that simple.
  • Keep your skills tight. No matter what you are going after, you will need to learn new skills. However, you cannot just rely on learning new skills and hoping for the best. You will need to keep your core skillset current and ready to use. You need to work hard on developing yourself but at the same time, working to keep your current skillset strong. Weston spent free time learning new languages, using a punch bag and so on to hone his skills. He knew that he may need to use these skills at any given time so they had to be fluid and ready for action. As you learn skills, you need to keep on top of them and developing them to be as strong as possible. You never know when a chance to use them to propel you into stardom may come. There is noone as good at that as you – prove that to them!
  • Remain true to your core. As you try and improve, bad shit will happen. People will doubt you. Others will be suspicious of you and your motives. Sadly, a few will treat you like shit and try and stop you out of spite. However, no one can stop you if you don’t let them. No matter what happens, you should not let it change the good person that you are at the core. As you grow and develop, you may experience chances to take the easy option, become more aggressive, become sneakier and so on. However, that’s the easy way out. The only road that the easy option leads to is failure. People always get caught out using the easy option. In the film, Weston could have easily become as corrupt as Frost, however he stuck hard and true to his values and ideals and it is this that makes him such a great character to look at. Weston is proof that you can work your ass off, learn new skills, learn the secrets and politics of the higher up world but still remain true to the good person they are. Become the next proof of it.
  • Never give up. Bad shit will happen. Things will go wrong. People will screw you over and try to stop you hitting that next level because of a number of reasons (jealousy, hatred, being a general jackass etc). No matter what happens, you can’t give up. Everything that is thrown against you is simply a way to push your comfort zone further and learn how to deal with it. Bad things happen but instead of seeing them as bad, instead see them for what they truly are – a learning experience. The only time you truly fail is when you stop trying. A lot of time it is the people who are so close to achieving their goal that end up giving up on their dreams as they won’t push it that little bit harder. No matter what happens, keep on pushing. Use anything bad as a learning experience – readjust your approach using what you found from the bad event and then go at it hard again! If you keep going, again and again, no matter what, you will end up proving yourself. If you keep at it, pushing towards your goal again and again you will eventually break through. (Even if you don’t, people will love your determination).

 

A FINAL NOTE:

We all live in a metaphorical safe house in our life at some point. It is a warm and safe place. There is everything you need there to keep us safe and happy, away from potential dangers. However, by staying there, you will never truly know the person that you can become or what you can achieve. It is only by taking a risk and trying to prove yourself that you can really fulfil your true potential. Modern day life has become easy.

There are too many trappings that fufil more than our basic needs. You can have a very enjoyable life just staying where you are now. You can stay in the job that doesn’t challenge you, yet pays the bills. See the friends who keep you from feeling lonely but don’t truly care about you or your dreams. You can use drink and drugs to null the pain of your life so that you don’t need to feel the pain of longing for more. You can put in the bare essential amount of work at your life and as we live in modern times, you can have a satisfactory life.

But who in the hell wants a ‘satisfactory’ life? Who wants to live a life that is so run of the mill that anyone else can have it? I for one certainly do not. I truly believe that in each of us is a mission or task that will make us truly unique and great. You can do so much more with your life than you give yourself credit for. You never know until you try.

Remember, no matter how challenging something seems, “You practice anything a long time, you get good at it”.

 

There is no need for this picture, except to show how hot she is!

There is no need for this picture, except to show how hot she is!

 

SO WHAT DO YOU THINK?

So what do you think? Is Matt Weston an inspiration for pursuing your dreams or is Weston someone that you will use for inspiration as you try and achieve your goals? Or will you allow your target to remain in your ‘Safe-House’ and never become the operative that you are capable of becoming?

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How to remove the clutter and get a badass simple lifestyle – Leo Babauta

WHO ARE WE TALKING TO?

Who: Leo Babauta

Where is he normally: http://zenhabits.net/

Why should I care what he has to say: This is an interview I have been wanting for a long time – Leo is something like a God in the blogging world! He runs the hugely successful Zen Habits blog, where he discusses how to remove the clutter (and change your habits) from your life and lead a clear, straight forward awesome life. On his clean and crisp site, Leo offers detailed articles on a variety of topics that will affect you in your everyday life, each with actual action steps that you can implement right there and then. His book ‘The Power of Less‘ (affiliate link) shows you how to remove the clutter in your business and your life to see immediate and large advances by living more simply. I have learnt a lot from reading Leo’s site. I have implemented a lot of his strategies and saw a marked degree in my own happiness. His site continues to grow daily but Leo remains true to his values and is an awesome family man. What else do I need to ay? This guy is epic and was kind enough to quickly answer a few questions I had (despite being a nobody blogger compared to him!). Read the interview now!

WHAT DID LEO HAVE TO SAY?

NLG: Can you please tell me a little about yourself – how did you go from being a normal guy to a heavyweight blogger?

Leo: I’m still a normal guy — married with six kids, living a simple life and learning about changing habits. After a year of changing a whole bunch of my habits successfully, I started Zen Habits to share some of what I’d learned, and to show people how I simplified my life. It turns out (it was a big surprise to me) that a lot of people want to simplify their lives and change their habits too, so my blog grew very rapidly in the first year of its existence (2007). After a year, I had 26,000 subscribers, and today I have about 260,000 subscribers.

NLG: Wow that is some increase! Was there an event in your life that inspired the website?  What brought about your pursuit for calmness and removing the clutter? How has running the website changed how you view the website and your life and do you have any goals for the website?

Leo: All the changes I made in 2006 were breathtaking to me, and a complete revelation. I couldn’t help but be excited and wanted to share what I’d learned with others. I had learned to live more mindfully and simply, with less clutter, after having a life with too much, and too much debt on top of that, while not having enough time for my family. Having Zen Habits has changed my life in so many ways — I’ve learned from my readers, and my readers have helped me to learn more about myself and what I’ve done to make the changes I’ve made. I don’t have any goals for Zen Habits other than to continue to help people live simple and happy lives.

NLG: As a great father, how do you balance work and family life – what advice would you give to any father out there who wants to better their families life but feels time and financially restricted?

Leo: First, simplify your commitments at work and outside work to make more time for your family — if you do other things outside work consider whether they can be eliminated. Second, when you’re home, focus on doing things with the kids (for free or cheap), like reading, playing sports, going to a playground, playing board games, making art. Third, when you’re with them, really be with them — don’t think about work or other things you need to do, but fully be present.

NLG: What do you think is the main problem with men in today’s society? Are we becoming too materialistic or is it more a case of our virtues being out of line of what a good man should be like? What do you consider makes a good man of worth?

Leo: There are no problems with men, only problems men think they have. We are already perfect, and our lives are already perfect, and yet we so often want things to be different. We only need to realize we have everything, and all we need to be happy we already have. End the thinking of “I need more” or “I wish I had something else”, and be grateful for what you have and who you have. Show your gratitude, practice mindfulness, and compassion. We are not too materialistic at heart, but we have let advertising influence us so we think we need things we don’t, and think we should have things to show our worth when we don’t need to show anything. What makes a good man of worth? Every man is a man of worth. He just needs to realize it.

NLG: I 100% agree – too many people are fed bullshit from the media etc and think they are not complete but they are perfect the way they are and have nothing wrong with them. You run one of the most visited websites around today, you have a busy family life and run many projects at once. How do you juggle your various priorities? How can you deal with so much and still work towards a simple life?

Leo: I don’t do that much. I write, I read, I get active, I spend time with my family. Four things, every day, and I have 16 hours to do them, so there’s plenty of space between those things. You don’t need to juggle priorities — just eliminate things that aren’t priorities, to make space, and then enjoy that space.

NLG: So simple! It’s amazing how much we over-complicate things! Do you believe that there are certain milestones that every man should aim towards? Do you have goals that you are working towards in your own life? (For example, getting a great body or to reach 100,000 visitors daily to the site etc)

Leo: No. I used to believe greatly in goals, but now I know that they are artificially created destinations that don’t matter much. They can be useful to some people, as a stepping stone, but in reality having a goal of “a great body” doesn’t get you that body. Learning to live mindfully and healthily does, and gets you more important things as well. Reaching 100,000 visitors is a nice idea, but isn’t helping the visitors you already have more important? Isn’t doing things that you love and helping others more important than some arbitrary number? Focusing on that number will cause you to do things that aren’t in line with your values. Focus on actions that you know are right, and that give you happiness, and you will end up in a good place no matter where that is. More importantly, focus on this present moment, not some destination (of 100,000 readers) that is far in the future.

NLG: I love that answer! I think if we all didn’t attach importance to numbers and statistics, we would all be a lot happier in general. What do you consider your best article?

Leo: Breathe. http://zenhabits.net/breathe/

NLG: Can you tell me any tips for life or business that you have found that shouldn’t work but do?

Leo: Focusing on the smallest step right now will get you the farthest.

NLG: I’m finding that right now – making big plans doesn’t work as I procrastinate. Starting by making small, baby steps, gets me going and I actually reach my targets! If there is someone reading this right now and wants to be like you, what three action steps – apart from reading your book! – would you give them to begin their transformation?

Leo: In each moment, focus on what you’re doing right now, what you’re feeling, what surrounds you, instead of thinking of other things all the time. Practice by doing sitting meditation. Learn to love yourself, and accept others for who they are.

NLG: Finally, if you were to talk to all of men at once, what would you say – what motivation or telling off would you say?

Leo: You are perfect. Be happy with yourself, be grateful for what you have, and be compassionate to everyone you meet.

NLG: Thanks for talking to Leo – It’s awesome to have you on the site!

SOCIAL MEDIA LINKS

You’ll want to follow Leo. He has awesome articles that are life-changing. Use the following links to keep up to date with him

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How to Rock On from a Bad Event – David Grohl

WHO ARE WE LOOKING AT?

Who: David Grohl

Where Is He From: (Mainly) The Lead Singer and guitar player for ‘The Foo Fighters‘ – (He was also the former Nirvana drummer and is a member of many side projects)

Why Look At Him? Grohl is a great person to analyse. He is a supremely talented musician that has been successful for years. However it is the  way that he bounced back after his initial band collapsed that make him such a great person to look at.

For those of you who are maybe not familiar with Grohl – he was a major success with the band, Nirvana, where he was the drummer. Sadly the band ended up disbanding, after the tragic suicide of the lead singer (and possible cultural icon) Kurt Cobain. However, from the ashes of that band, Grohl rose again to form a new band, called the Foo Fighters (still touring today) and become hugely successful again. Grohl had money. He had fame. He would have probably been guaranteed royalties for life. Yet, what made him begin again? It is his passion for something that motivated him to absorb something bad and shake it off and continue again.

We all encounter bad things but it is how we deal with them that shows the true measure of who we are. Grohl is a great example of someone who took a big hit and simply shook it off and got back into the game.

Before we go on, I think we should have a quick look at him in action:

 

 

WHY SHOULD I CARE ABOUT HIM THOUGH?

It is the reason that Grohl started again that I feel that we should look at him. Grohl started again because of his love for the art he performed. He didn’t need the money. He didn’t need the fame. He didn’t need the fans. He needed the feeling that music creates in him. He loves to perform, to create and display his craft.

He was affected by the sad events of Kurt’s suicide but he did not allow it to stop him from performing. It is OK to grieve for someone but it should not stop you from living your life the way that you want to – something that Grohl seems aware of. Bad things happen, to good people regardless. There is no escaping that. You can either run from them or you can deal with it and use it to become a better person. Bad things will happen regardless of what you decide to do, so wouldn’t it make sense to learn how to deal with them in a way that you can grow, develop yourself and get a more kickass life from doing so?

Grohl has hit new heights since he started again. I wonder, what could you accomplish if you dealt with the bad things that you encounter rather than running from them? Where could you be in your life if you did? Looking at Grohl, it gives you a chance to see what you are running from in your own life and how you can deal with them.

 

 

WHAT SHOULD I BE LOOKING OUT FOR THEN?

  • He has true passion. You cannot watch a Foo Fighter film and not see the true passion that Grohl (and his bandmates) have for music and entertaining their fans. In my experience, passion over-rides far, sadness, nerves etc. If, like Grohl, you are passionate about something, it doesn’t matter how scared, nervous or jittery you feel about something, if you feel passionate, you will push past those short-term feelings and emotions to perform and to do the thing that makes you passionate. By performing regardless of the fear etc, you embrace the long-term benefits that doing something you are passionate about brings. Moreover, being passionate will push you to get out of bed when you feel depressed. Being passionate will make you take chances and push yourself past your comfort zone, whereas a non passionate person may crumble under the pressure that a bad event brings and hide themselves away. What are you passionate about? What makes you get excited about to do in your life? How can you become passionate about the things in your life that you can identify where you don’t deal with it or run away from your problems?
  • Isn’t afraid to go back. Grohl became the front man of the Foo Fighters after being the drummer for Nirvana. When he was a member of Nirvana he sat at the back, as the drummer, while the main focus was on Cobain. Now Grohl is in the limelight. He gets the attention, he gets the limelight … and probably all the attention from the girls. However, Grohl isn’t controlled by his ego that many who become successful seem to be. He is willing to go back to play drums for other bands and when working with other musicians in session work. Grohl knows what made him famous. He still is passionate about drumming and music in general. Grohl does not let his ego dictate his actions. By going back to his ‘bread and butter’ Grohl allows himself to remain grounded and to see things from another perspective. You need to do the same. Never become too prideful to restrict what you do simply because you are not good enough or you get criticised by others. By going back, you can see how far you have come. This can give you a great motivational boost to propel you onwards. Also, by going back, you take a breather from the road that you are heading down and see things with perspective that everyday life sometimes doesn’t allow. By looking at life from where you started, you can see if the life you are moving towards is where you want to be and readjust how you live your life accordingly.
  • Grohl invites bad things. Grohl does not just play in his own band, he works with other musicians on tour and in session. By doing this, he invites bad things to happen because he is having more experiences (so in theory, there is more chance for bad things to happen). He puts himself outside of his comfort zone and into pressurised situations that he cannot always control. However, by experiencing more things, Grohl teaches himself to adapt to the potential influx of bad things in his life. He experiences more bad events than someone who stays in his comfort zone and doesn’t try things, so he learns how to deal with them and becomes more experienced i bouncing back. Grohl will learn not to take bad events as personally as someone who rarely ventures out of their comfort zone will as he will realises that these things happen to everyone and is not a personal attack to anyone.

Remember – If it doesn’t challenge you it won’t change you. By letting go of control, inviting bad things into your life by trying a lot of new things, you see that bad things are not to be feared. They are not personal. They happen to everyone. They give you a chance to learn and better yourself. Grohl could easily have rested on his laurels and not too any chances with his music and being associated with artists who would maybe have brought him negative press. However, Grohl is a passionate man, who pushes himself onwards and trys new things to keep his passion alive. What sort of things have you always wanted to do? What things are you hiding from because you don’t want bad things to happen or you fear the worse? Pick one thing that you always want to do and go for it, right now. Take a chance as it may go amazing. Even if a bad thing happens, you know its not personal and would happen to anyone. Learn the lession from it and go again. Become passionate and rock this world!

 

 

OK – HOW CAN I BECOME LIKE HIM?

  • Don’t Stop. Bad shit will happen to each and every one of us. There is no way of getting away from it. The world is not all about rainbows and fluffy bunnies. Bad things happening is inevitable, however it is how you deal with it that can change your life forever. The worst thing that you can do when something bad happens is to give up. Pick yourself up, look at where you might have gone wrong, readjust your approach and go again. On your deathbed, you will regret the things that you didn’t do, not what you did do. Do you want a safe live where you did nothing or would you like a life on par with Grohl who has been in two fo the biggest bands of this generation? Become passionate about everything in your life, keep checking where you are going in your life and keep pushing yourself onto bigger and better things.
  • Always be looking for the ‘Silver Lining’. What happened to Kurt Cobain was a total tragedy, there is no way else to look at that sad state of affairs. However, Grohl saw that it was not the end of his music career. He overcame the pain of losing his friend and returned to his arena to fight again. No matter what happens, there is always something good that you can take from it – be either a lession learnt, a new avenue of thinking or action to take or simply knowing what doesn’t work. The next time that something bad happens to you, try not to react to and dwell on the negativity. Instead, take a short period of time and write down what happened and what good that you can take from it – then readjust your plan of attack and go at life again with a renewed enthusiasm as you now know one way that won’t work and you won’t do it again.  Death comes to us all – family, friends and strangers too. We can’t do anything about it. Until our time is up though, we can always get up from bad events, no matter how bad they are, learn from them and carry on. I have had a lot of bad things happen (or what I saw as bad at the time) and had some deaths in the family. What it made me realise is that life is short. We need to capitalise on what is happening to us now, while we are on this mortal coil. We need to take advantage of us being born (over the millions of other sperms who had a chance). Do you not think that we were put on this earth for a reason? I’m not religious, but I do feel that we have a purpose. What is yours? Why would you let a bad thing that happens to everyone stop you from learning your purpose? Seize the day, week, month, year and your lifetime. Start right now (but finish this article first and comment too please!).
  • Bang and strum. Grohl plays different instruments. It lets him see things differently as he experiences different styles and experiences. You need to open your interests and mind to different options as well. Just because something has always been done a certain way, it does not mean that it has to be done the same way still. You get one crack at life, why keep getting the same results? It was Albert Einstein who said that the definition of insanity was trying the same thing over and over and expecting different results each time. Instead you should try new things. Look at problems in different ways. Just because you are used to playing behind the group, it does not mean that you can’t adapt to lead the group instead.

By trying new things, you won’t just learn new skills, you will also develop your brain to adapt to new pressures, to push out your comfort zone. It will make you become accustomed to stronger ‘problems’. You will become stronger emotionally and take on bigger challenges in your life and hit heights you didn’t believe possible (even if it is just starting with new baby steps each day).

  • Don’t stop, no matter how high you soar. Challenge yourself with new ways of thinking and learning. Collaborate with other artists or departments, or play other sports, or try different promotions or … or … or … there really is no end of what you can do here to keep challenging yourself and learning as you go. Keep pushing yourself as you learn and grow. Go for bigger and bigger challenges. Find the tasks that make you keen to jump out of bed and pursue them with a passion. No matter where you end up, there is always something that you can do to improve and better yourself. Grohl continues to push himself onwards and do new things to deepn his understanding of his passions and how he views life. He doesn’t allow how others view him to dictate how he lives nor does he conform to any particular stereotype of how a rock star should act. Why should you too? A bad thing is a pain in the ass but it is not the end of you. What are you letting hold you down? What bad things are you letting you from reaching new heights? Take ten minutes and look at all aspects of your life. What do you want to do in life? What limiting beliefs about yourself and what you are capable of doing are you holding onto and letting control how you live your life? Let go of them. It’s that easy. Just decide that you are starting afresh, pick what you want to do and go for it. As Brent Smith says, ‘your story is only as complicated as you make it’. What do you want? Decide and go for it. Pick more things as you go if you want and adjust how you go for things along the way but begin now. Right now (well at the end of the article!).  Bad things happen to everyone but you are a unique and awesome person. Are you really going to let a general bad event stop you from doing the amazing specific thing that you are here to do in this world?

 

A FINAL NOTE:

You can be a big success or you may fail each time you try. However, bad things will always happen, there is no way to realistically control them – the most you can do is try and plan but few things ever go the way you plan. Grohl is a great example of someone who has encountered a tragedy and instead of letting it stop him (or rest on his previous success) has started again and hit (depending on your opinion) greater heights than previous. What can you do if you reset your controlling beliefs, stop letting old events dictate how you interact with the world and instead began again? What can you do? How can you make your life amazing? It is in you right now. You don’t need anything else. You know what you can do, no one else. Don’t let others or events control what you can achieve in your life. In your deathbed, ‘they’ won’t be there. Bad shit may have happened to you but I think it’s time for you to delete that recording and start taping your hit record again right now!

 

 

SO WHAT DO YOU THINK?

The next time something bad happens to you, will you stay down and feel sorry for yourself or will you use Grohl as a role model and instead, take whatever you can learn from the experience and go for what you truly desire again? Let me know what you think in the comment section below.

Finally, another song to listen to as you comment below (thank you!)

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How to Get an Awesome Life with Bobby Rio

WHO ARE WE TALKING TO?

Who: Bobby Rio

Where is he normally: http://www.tsbmag.com/

Why should I care what he has to say: Bobby runs the hughly successful website ‘TSB Mag’. The site is the leading men’s website for dating and lifestyle advice. TSB Magazine is one of the most popular in the world for guys looking to improve their “game” with women. And even features a free 31 Days to Better Game challenge. Bobby has been helping men learn how to flirt, attract women, and improve their overall social life for the past six years. And is known for his ability to help shy or boring guys create more fun, playful, and flirtatious conversations with women. You can learn more about him at www.makesmalltalksexy.com. Plus he lets me publish guest posts on his site, so he is a very smart man! 🙂

 

WHAT DID BOBBY HAVE TO SAY?

NLG: Can you please tell us a little about yourself, your journey from average dude to running a hugely successful website? Can you tell me about how you got into the dating/pick up community – what made you want to get a handle on your dating life?

BR: I’ve been a lifetime consumer of “self help” books, business books, et .  And studying dating advice was a natural fit for me.  God knows I needed to learn it. My problem was I was always too “shy” around women (and people in general) and the average self help book never really dealt with this issue. Sure it gave basic advice on being more confident. But it wasn’t until I stumbled on dating advice that I actually realized there are people out who can show me how to do this better.  As for starting TSB it was just an extension of my personality.  I love learning, growing, socializing… and to be able to create a communicate of like minded guys all looking to better themselves was an ideal project for me to start.

 

 

NLG: And what do you think it is to be a proper man nowadays?

BR: Being a man is 100% about personal responsibility.  No guy on a white horse in gonna ride in and save you. If you want something… its your job to MAKE IT HAPPEN.  The information is there. There are countless articles, books, youtube videos teaching how to do anything you could possibly want to do. So in this day and age you have no excuses.  And the sooner a guy realizes this the better.   


NLG: A great tip for anyone wanting to change. Can you explain what picking up women taught about yourself, social interaction and life in general? How do you think you have changed since you started pick up?

BR: It grew my confidence by leaps and bounds.  Its funny because you take it for granted once you have it.   I often look at my girlfriend or at some of the other girls ive dating over the past few years and I think “damn, my high school self would be shocked and proud.”

And I look at the lifestyle I live in terms of my career and financial independence and think “damn my college self would be shocked.” 


NLG: Your site is awesome and I’ve got some brilliant girls using some of the advice I got from it. What do you consider your best videos/articles for a newbie?

BR: I really believe my Small Talk Tactics report which I give away at www.makesmalltalksexy.com is one of the best pieces of advice that you can learn from me. But I’m partial to advice that has to do with conversation since that was my weak spot.  Also i’m pretty proud of the Success Principles series I wrote about 5 years ago…  Here’s a linkto one of the artciles: http://www.tsbmag.com/2008/09/02/the-success-principles-take-100-responsibility-for-your-life/

 

NLG: With regards to social interaction, what tips have you learnt that are successful but counter-intutive?

BR: I learned the hard way with girls that the stuff they “say” they want is never usually what they want. Twice I sent flowers to a girl at work. And both times it ended badly.

One of the most counter-intuitive things is when a woman starts losing interest in you. Most guys think if she’s losing interest they have to try to win her backby being more available or gaming her more. WRONG. When a girl starts losing interest the best way to get her back is to appear that YOUR LOSING INTEREST. Yep.  As long as a girl thinks you’ll ‘be there’ if she changes her mind- she’s likely to leave. But if she senses that you might not be there, her fear of loss kicks in…and suddenly she wants you back

 


NLG: A great tip! Your site has a immense readership but imagine if you were to talk to all of mankind at once, what would you say (feel free to plug a product here) – what motivation or telling off would you say?

BR: I’m going to go a little simple here:

Two things:

1.  You got to believe.   Yep.  Whether its believing that you CAN get that hot girl. Or believing that you can start a successful business. You MUST believe that its possible.  If there is even the slightest element of doubt you’ll give up before you reach the finish line

2. You got to really want it.  Yep. You can’t just think it would be nice to have- you have to want it so badly that you’re willing to burn all avenues of retreat. If you don’t want it that badly- you wont get it.  Whether its success with women or in business- you need to have a burning desire for success.

 

NLG: That’s something that took me a while to learn. However, on your site, you have a great series called ‘Awesome Men Throughout History’ where you show great men throughout time for readers to aspire to be like. Who do you look to for role models and inspiration in your own life?

BR: I try to look for self made men. Men with a vision.  I read a lot of biographies.  And try to take inspiration from all of them.

 

NLG: You’ve made some great products over the year. Where do you find your creativity from and what advice would you give anybody who wants to create their own products for sale on their website?

BR: Wants.

Only create product that fulfill what people really want. ‘Conversation Escalation’ is still hugely successful three years after its release because guys WANT badly to learn what to say to a girl.  Too many guys create program because they think the product is ‘new’ or ‘cool’ or guys will ike it.  But if guys aren’t out there in desperate need of what you’re selling- more than likely it will fail.

 

The awesome FREE Tsb Mag iPhone app

 

NLG: Your website has exploded in popularity over the last few years. What advice would you give to any new bloggers who want to improve their websites?

BR: Focus on builiding an email list.  Too many bloggers (myself included when i started) don’t realize how important it is to build up an email list of guys who like their stuff.  Guys will forget to go back to your site unless you remind them its there.

 

NLG: Speaking of tips, what 3 tips would you give to the average frustrated guy to get good with women as quickly as possible?

BR: Focus on three things in every conversation:

1.  Have fun with her.  Yep.  More than anything else, make the interaction fun.  If she’s not having fun her attention will wander and nothing else you do will be nearly as effective.

2.  Create a connection with her.   Show her that you see her as a unique woman. Notice things about how she acts. Tell her things about herself.

LISTEN to what she’s saying. People are STARVED to be listened to.

3. Create a sexual response.  DO NOT hide the fact that you’re sexually attracted to her.  As long as she’s having fun and feels a connection to you can be very forward with your sexual intent.

NLG: Thanks for speaking to me Bobby! For more great tips on how to build an awesome life with girls you want, check out Bobby’s site, using the links below.

 

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Become the Real You with Mark Manson

WHO ARE WE TALKING TO?

Who: Mark Manson

Where is he normally: http://postmasculine.com/

Why should I care what he has to say: Mark’s blog is simply superb. I have become a big fan of it since discovering it lately. Mark takes subjects that we all struggle with and takes the issue down to the core and gives deep, meaningful and intense analysis of each subject, where men go wrong and how we can fix the problem. I enjoy surfing the net but Mark’s site is one of the few that I can become engrossed in for long periods of time. Mark talks from experience and is always willing to help. In short, I feel a better person from reading Mark’s blog – I don’t think I can give him a better compliment than that!

 

SO WHAT’S MARK GOT TO SAY?

NLG: For those of us who don’t know you, can you please tell us a little about yourself and your journey in life from normal dude to rocking blogger?

MM: My name is Mark Manson. I’m from Boston, USA. I’m a writer, entrepreneur, world traveler and former dating coach. Although the external variables of my life have shifted and improved dramatically, I view my personal journey as an internal one – overcoming my fears, my emotional baggage, creating new and amazing relationships and creating something valuable and unique to give the world. The successes with business, women, etc., are a by-product of this process.

I still have a long way to go.

 

NLG: I think that’s why I like your blog so much – it seems that we are on similar journeys … but you’re having more luck so far!

Your posts are amazingly insightful, in depth and helpful. Where do your views come from?

MM: I read a lot growing up. I was a smart kid in a pretty cold and distant family, so I was always sticking my nose in books. I started reading a lot about philosophy as a teenager in high school, then later spirituality, psychology and literature. I think the “depth” people see in my posts is just a matter of me being more honest with myself than most. Writing is creating an experience in the mind of others and I feel like if I can be honest with myself to a certain depth, then I can vicariously force the reader to reach that same depth in themselves.

 

NLG: well it is definitely working. I feel that your posts cut to the core of the problem and really make the reader address the true nature of his problems.

Your site is aimed to helping the modern day man – what do you think it is to be a man nowadays?

MM: It’s a lot murkier than it used to be, that’s for sure. I think the information revolution and sexual revolution have forced men into a situation where they must develop new aspects of their identities. In the past, getting a good job and taking charge was sufficient. Now, it’s not. Women have empowered themselves and the new service and information economy has removed a lot of men’s competitive advantages in society. As a result, to keep up and remain relevant I think men must evolve and get in touch with aspects of their identities that used to be off-limits – empathy, communication, nurturing, etc. The trick is to pull this off without sacrificing the traditional masculine virtues – ambition, assertiveness, drive – to become more integrated, whole, individuals.

Put simply, man are caught in a spot where they need to develop their emotional lives without turning into a pussy. It’s a tricky rope to balance on.

 

NLG: What a great answer! So what do you think defines being a man and what should they aspire to be like? What are the virtues that an ideal man should adopt?

MM: I think the virtues that define men these days aren’t so different from the virtues that define women: self-respect, strong purpose, empathy, honesty. I think the real major differences between men and women in a post-feminist world remain sexual differences. Women and men express and prefer different sexual expressions (on average), but the virtues of each gender have very much converged because of how connected and efficient society has become.

 

NLG: If you were to talk to all of mankind at once, what would you say?

MM: You don’t have to prove anything.

 

 

 

NLG: I have learnt so much about myself and view the relationship between men and women differently since I started reading your blog. What do you consider your three best videos/articles and why do you feel they are the best?

MM: I’d choose

A New Masculinity (http://postmasculine.com/a-new-masculinity) – Relates my experiences traveling around the world and meeting women of different cultures and how this affected my perception of both my own masculinity and masculinity in general.

My Life as a Pick Up Artist (http://postmasculine.com/pickup-artist) – Traces my sexual empowerment and experiences as an instructor in the pick up artist industry. Serves both as a cautionary tale and an educational narrative.

Kill Your Day Job and Travel the World (http://postmasculine.com/kill-your-day-job) – An article about the emotional process of leaving the typical 9-5 work world behind and setting off on your own. Also provides some tips on how to do it.

These aren’t my personal favorite articles but have been some of my most popular articles and generated the most inspiration/reaction out of readers.

 

NLG: Some great content and I loved the ‘New Masculine’ article.You have been very successful in business and relationships. Can you tell me any tips for life or business that you have found that shouldn’t work but do?

MM: Invest in yourself. Products, businesses, jobs, careers, they come and go, but your education and mind are always with you. Most people try to collect golden eggs. Few people bother to learn how to become the goose that lays them.

 

NLG: How has travelling and meeting men and women all over the world changed you and how you see the world?

MM: It’s affected me in more ways then I could possibly write here. But overall it’s shown me that at the end of the day, people are the same. We all want the same things and have the same needs, we just go about them in different ways and were born into different cultures and circumstances. People are also, on the whole, good.

 

NLG: A great point to make, we are the same, regardless of race, religion or sexual orientation. What advice would you give to anyone who wanted to become more cultured and worldly?

MM: No secret here: travel. Skip the resorts, five-star hotels and hostels. Find an apartment and try to enmesh yourself into the local life as quickly as you can. Purposely go where the other tourists don’t. See how others live. Volunteer. Teach English. Live like them for a while. Understanding of books, movies or politics is nice, but doesn’t get you the real thing.

 

NLG: You’ve lived some life! What advice would you give to a guy who reads your site and wants to become better, to live with more adventure, to meet more girls and live the life they want to?

MM: If you want to do something new or exciting, and it scares the shit out of you, it probably means you should do it.

 

NLG: Talking of being scared, I love your take on controlling your emotions. Can you explain it to my readers, why it’s important and more importantly, how they can go about doing it?

MM: Most people assume they’re rational, but the truth is that the majority of thoughts that bubble up in our minds are merely rationalizations and explanations for emotional decisions we’ve already made and felt. Psychologists have shown this time and time again. Your conscious mind and reasoning follow whatever your emotions and sub-conscious have already decided. So getting in touch with that sub-conscious and those emotional impulses, recognizing them and honing them to help you is possibly the most powerful tool you can ever develop.

As far as HOW to manage those emotions, I recently did a podcast about it: http://postmasculine.com/pm-radio-1

 

NLG: I wish I’d known that a few years back – would have saved me a lot of hassle during a breakup! (Ed: The podcasts also rock!). What three things do most men do that leads them to failing?

MM: I’d say

  1. Making assumptions about something they’ve never tried or experienced.
  2. Expecting failure before they even try (self-fulfilling prophecy).
  3. The only real failure is not trying, so being apathetic or too scared to even bother trying.

 

NLG: I agree about the not trying part – we all do more than we believe ourselves capable of.

I think we all, myself included, struggle with letting go of past loves and bad behaviour. What advice would you give to someone who wanted to let go their pain/feelings etc and start again?

MM: Invest in themselves. We never completely get over our old loves, but we can move on from them, and the way we do that is by creating better versions of ourselves than the one who dated them. As long as we’re the same person who dated them with the same emotional needs, we’re going to feel the same way.

 

 

NLG: Some great advice. On the subject of people staying the same – Why do you think that people are happy with lives of mediocrity? Why are they happy to stay in the shadows when a life of success offers so much more?

MM: Because success is painful. Mediocrity is safe and comfortable. Success requires fucking up repeatedly, making a fool of yourself, being ridiculed, tons of anxiety and stress, and inevitably brings a lot more responsibility than mediocrity. It’s harder. That’s why most people don’t do it.

 

NLG: As I am finding out trying to build up my website – success has a lot of false starts and pain!

I love the passion and personality that’s in your writing on your blog. What advice would you give to anyone who wants to start or upgrade their website and add their personality (even if nerdy like me) to their website or anything else?

MM: I would just be as honest as possible in portraying yourself. It takes a long time to find your voice and your message. You have to try over and over again. My blog and writing has gotten pretty popular the past year, but I blogged in relative anonymity for years before that.

You have to love it and love what you’re writing about it. And if you don’t, then find a way to love it. If you love getting nerdy, then nerd the fuck out. If you want to write long-winded 5,000 word pseudo-philosophical pieces on all of the places you’ve stuck your penis (like me), then do it. Do what you’re passionate about. Try to find something unique and honest to say and the audience will eventually show up.

 

NLG: I think we, as men, need to stop feeling ashamed of who we are what we are interested in. We need to be ourselves and act to our true intentions and be congruent with who we are at the core – great advice Mark!

Finally, more to help my own writing, where do you find your inspiration for your blog posts?

MM: My life. My blog is my therapy. It’s my journal. It’s my creative outlet. It’s my dialog with the world. It’s my teacher. A million things inspire me to write, it’s a matter of opening myself up to them. Again, it comes back to that honest expression.

 

NLG: Thanks for taking the time to speak to me Mark – I thoroughly appreciate your time.

 

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Transform your body and mind with Sean Hyson

Today’s post is a great interview I recently did with Sean Hyson. This is the second time I’ve interviewed Sean (once on a previous site I ran) and he is a great guy! The interview has some nuggets of gold that you can take and improve your life right now! Let’s get down to it …

 

WHO ARE WE TALKING WITH?

 

Who: Sean Hyson

Where is he normally found: www.seanhyson.com/blog

Why should I care what he has to say: Sean is a huguely successful strength and conditioning guru. He has appeared in numerous magazines and television shows, telling readers how to transform their lives. Currently, he is the Group Training Director for Muscle&Fitness and Men’s Fitness magazines which means he is at the forefront of what you need to know to get into great shape. He runs an excellent blog that covers all fitness releated stuff. On the personal front, Sean is hardworking, always willing to help, masculine and has transformed his life yet continually challenges himself. It is my ‘esteemed’ opinion that Sean is the kind of guy that we all want to be like.

 

SEAN LAYS IT DOWN

NLG: Hi Sean, great to speak to you again. For those of my readers who aren’t familiar with you, can you please tell us a little about yourself from normal dude to badass trainer and about your transformation from skinny kid to muscular god? What did you learn about yourself and from life?

SH: I was a weak, unathletic kid. Very self-conscious and unconfident, but I always felt guilty if I went a few days without some kind of physical activity. I trained in martial arts as a kid and then got into weight training in college. More than anything I had tried before, lifting seemed to really make a difference in my life. I fell in love with the idea of making progress and being better than I was last year, last month, or last week. I liked seeing that I could make visible progress, and that the more I worked hard, the more progress I could make—what a metaphor for life!
I experimented with all kinds of fitness plans for years with varying degrees of success. In 2010, I was a little overweight and not feeling my best, so I decided to do a 12-week transformation and really show everybody what could be accomplished with focus and hard work. I asked my friend and colleague Jason Ferruggia to write me a plan and I ended up losing 35 pounds while getting significantly stronger. I learned that nothing is as hard as what you concoct it to be in your mind. Most problems in life have simple solutions and just need time to take shape.

 

NLG: I remember that transformation! It was an epic site and during only 12 weeks it was incrediable! Your currently in great shape today, what are the 3 physical benchmarks that a guy should aim for in your opinion to be classed as a fit guy? (e.g. complete a circuit in a certain time, lift a certain weight or to simply be strong enough to play horsey with your kid etc).
SH: I think this is a very individual question. If CrossFit and the various extreme sports out there have taught us anything, it’s that fitness can be measured in a million different ways. I think you need to decide what top three qualities or skills are most important to you and then work to develop them.
In general though, I’m not especially impressed by a guy who can bench press 800 pounds but can’t tie his shoes without losing his breath any more than I admire a guy who can hold some contorted yoga position but can’t bench his body weight. I think every man should be able to lift 1.5 to 2x his body weight on the main barbell lifts, run a mile in under 8 min., be able to touch his toes and stand on one leg, and be able to hold his own in a variety of sports or activities regardless of whether he’s practiced them. You have to be generally prepared for anything, and that means being strong, mobile, durable, fast, and capable of focusing your mind.

 

 

NLG: Great answer! That is where we agree on. I’ve met too many guys with big muscles but they couldn’t do the things they needed to in their life. I always say functional is better than size all day with regard to muscle!
You’re an extremely busy guy, training hard, running a mega successful blog and so on – how do you manage to do so much? What do you do to cope with the stress?
SH: I think training is the main thing. Some of the busiest and most successful guys in our industry say that no matter what madness is going on around them, they always make time to train because it’s the only thing that allows them to handle all the rest. When I get extra stressed, I know that means I need to do something physical. I’ve always felt this way. If I had a test to take in school that I was nervous about, I found that if I played outside or went to Tae Kwon Do class the night before, I felt a lot better about taking it. Going to the gym and getting a pump or simply beating your performance from last week has a huge affect on the ego, and when the ego is happy, you’re happy. Haha.
As for specific management strategies, the adage “take it one thing at a time” is great. No matter how much you may seem to have to juggle simultaneously, no two things ever happen at the exact same time. One can always take priority over another, so assign those priorities accordingly and get busy knocking them down.

 

NLG: Great advice, I find even just 10 press ups in a burst can kill any stress or anxiety you were feeling.  If you were to talk to all of mankind at once, what would you say (feel free to plug a product here) – what motivation or telling off would you say?
SH: I’d say that people need to be more disciplined. I hate to rag on my generation, but I think we’re candy asses compared to the generations that came before us. So many of us don’t read (much), don’t exercise, don’t cook, don’t know what it’s like to really work for something and achieve it one step at a time. Technology and media have destroyed our attention spans and made us obsess over Kim Kardashian’s dress when we should be thinking about tasks at hand. You can blame the world and tell yourself it’s hopeless, but at some point you need to take responsibility, slap yourself in the face, and decide you’re going to get yourself together. You need the self-control to avoid distractions and stay with something even when it hurts if you’re going to accomplish anything.

 

NLG: Sorry, what did you say? I was looking at the squirrel over there! Lol. Unfortunately we have created a genereation who expect instant results and have forgotten what hard work is anymore. Success can be obtained but like you said, it needs to be got by working your ass off at one thing at a time and you’ll get there in the end.
Now you have my readers attention, your site is full of epic content –  What do you consider your three best videos/articles that a newbie should start with?
SH: I really believe this post covers all you need to stay active and meet your goals.
This is one of my most popular posts, talking about two of the hottest diet movements out there.
I think the title, “The Post No One Wants to Read” is apt, but it still needs to be read.

 

NLG: Some great choices there. The last one is particularly striking to read!  You recently hit an amazing 500 LB deadlift – what advice can you give to someone who wants to push themselves past their limits and to life that sort of weight? What do you think holds them back from doing so?
SH: As I discuss in the post I linked to above, it’s mainly about being in a good training environment. You need to be surrounded by friends or just like-minded people who create an atmosphere of focus and hard work. There are very, very few people lifting heavy weights in health clubs where they have wax palm trees in the corner and Britney Spears music playing on the radio. I think you can ignore good programming, technique, nutrition, and a lot of other major fundamentals and still make super progress by simply training in a place you want to be.

 

 

NLG: When I read that article, it really struck a chord with me as  I had struggled in the more commercial gyms with all their pop and non essential stuff flooding the workout area. I only really saw an increase in my strength (and gym attendance) when I found a gym close to my work and where you could get in, workout and get out without having the personal trainers selling to you or dodgy music being played (the beauty of an ipod!).
What do you think it is to be a man nowadays? Do you think we have lost what it takes to be a man? What defines being a man and what should they aspire to be like? What are the virtues that they should adopt?
SH: I think being a man boils down to doing the right thing when you’ve convinced yourself you have every reason not to. I guess the same could apply to women but this an expectation that has been heaped more so on men. It includes everything from sticking by people you love to getting up on a cold morning to train when your bed feels like paradise. Real men have the guts and the drive to do difficult things because they need to be done, and not because there’s a reward, or because someone was watching and judging them. Virtues that help us be this way are confidence, courage, and a sincere love of whatever matters to you in life. Those first two qualities can be developed with practice, but the third one must be found.

 

NLG: A great answer. A real man does the right thing, regardless if someone is watching or not. On the flip side though what does a man need to avoid to succeed? What holds men back from becoming a successful man in their own life – how can they overcome this?
SH: Men need to avoid the trap of too much pleasure. This is the hardest thing in life, because we’re hardwired to seek out pleasure and avoid pain. But when you think about it, so many of our problems stem from being lazy and blowing off responsibility in favor of quick fixes that suit us at the moment. The REAL reason you’re not making the money you want, or dating the woman you want, or sporting the body you want is because you come home at night after work and watch TV for three hours. You go out for a few beers when you should be prepping meals for the next day. You screw around on Youtube when you could be reading a book that would open your mind. Hey, I’m as guilty as anyone of falling into these traps, but at least I’m honest about it and I recognize when I’m wasting time and when I’m being productive. You can have a life and indulge, but I’m a firm believer in business before pleasure.

 

NLG: That’s the most honest answer I’ve seen yet! We all know the things that we need to do and the things we shouldn’t if we want to succeed but it’s amazing the excuses we can make to justify our bad behaviours. 
To make it easier for my readers who are wanting to change – Can you tell me any tips for life or business that you have found that shouldn’t work but do, the ones that sound so stupid and absurd that go against what people traditionally think works but it gets results (e.g. ignoring a girl makes her work harder to get you)

SH: It’s a big cliche, but I’ve recently learned for myself that it’s very true: be your own man. It’s unbelievably difficult to go one way when you’re pressured to go another, but it’s the only way you’ll really be happy. Sometimes, you’ll have a path in life set out for you to follow that makes perfect sense, but you just know it’s not what you want to do. Maybe it leads to an easier life, but it’s STILL not what you want. You have to be man enough to politely decline and keep looking.

 

NLG: Thanks for your time Sean. There was some great answers there and I’m sure it has greatly benefited anyone trying to reach the Next Level. 

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