Month: February 2013

Readers Queries #1

Hi all.

Today, I am starting a new feature … ‘Readers Queries’. These will be questions from readers and my actual response to them. The questions cover a range of topics and will be answered with my own unique and weird advice. Please note, that all names and personal information will be removed and all emails will be genuine.

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Reader: AW

QUESTION: Just watched the interview with Elliott Hulse and well.. I came here afterward and clicked the “First time here?” link.
It said “Talk to me using this Form and let me know what your biggest problem is just now, how can I help you sort it?”

So here it goes mate, and it’s nice to finally vent this shit out. I got kicked out two years ago at the age of 17. I now live with my grandma. She wants to kick me out too, because she can’t handle my attitude. I love my mother, because she’s my mother, but hate her because of what she did and can’t let it go. I just get angry when we talk now. Even thinking of it makes me mad.

I quit college because it’s not what I really wanted to do in life. I don’t know what I want to do. But it’s not that anymore. I’m pretty sad and depressed, but keep it in. I don’t get real happiness from anything and would rather just be lethargic and sit around and mope and pretend to be happy.

Like the video says, I’m the guy who thinks too much but never does, and I’m scared of jumping in head first. There’s so much I’d like to do but… the excuse usually comes to finances. I have no money. zilch.

Thanks man,

AW

Answer: Hey AW,

Thanks for the message, I’m really glad you found the site and appreciate you listening to the interview with Elliott. I hope you enjoyed it.

I could really relate a lot to what you wrote. Until I discovered the joy of blogging, I was quite an angry young man and had little interest in the world and felt pretty much out of control and swept along with life, instead of enjoying it. There is always hope and every moment is a chance to start again. Here is what I would recommend:

  • Find a Purpose or Outlet for your energy: For me, I felt completely lost. I had tried to be like all my other friends to it in, I had tried drink to hide my true feelings and none of it was working. I tried a list of things to see what I enjoyed doing and got nowhere until I tried blogging. You need to do the same. Sit down and write an honest list of what you enjoy in lie. Not what others tell you to enjoy or what you THINK you should like to fit in, just write a list of things that YOU enjoy. It could be juggling, the guitar, writing, rock climbing, poetry or whatever. The thing is that you can honestly say it is something that you want to do. You may need to try all of the list to see what resonates with you but eventually something will click and you will enjoy it.This serves two purposes. First, it gives you something to enjoy, to spend time doing something instead o mopping about so you feel more confident, you feel like you have meaning and you have something to focus your energies on. Secondly, it takes your attention away from the story that you are currently living. By focusing on something new, you change the story of ‘angry, depressed guy’ to ‘guy looking for his calling’. I know it sounds very new age and ‘out there’ but since I found the joys of blogging and helping people, I can feel better about myself as I know I am doing something I want to in my life and it is something that gives me pleasure – I’m no longer trying to please others or live my life for them. The anger is there as you feel out of control and without purpose. Start trying things and see how it affects you. You don’t need money. You can see your local youth centres for events on, start reading good books at the local library, visit museums, your local council will have free events on and so on. Look to use your outward anger and turn it inside as energy to become the best version of you that you can be.

 

  • Consider CBT: CBT is Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. Its a type of talking treatment where you have a chance to talk to non judging expert, with no family pressure, and she helps you to reframe your thoughts, deal with issues and so on. In some places you will need to be referred to a doctor but a lot of places offer free treatment but for free it would be better coming via your doctor. I have used CBT for repetitive thoughts I had (I have OCD) and it really helps. You sit in a room and basically just chat. You say how you feel and she offers insights into where this may stem from, what you can do differently and so on. Just talking about it can really help. It allows you to organise the thoughts in your head, let out some of the anger you have been holding inside you, get someone else’s opinion and so on. You can do this with a college teacher (if you are still in contact with them), a friend, another relative, even your Gran. Family want to be there for you and maybe your Gran needs to know where this stems from (even writing it down to her can help if you can’t say it without getting angry).

 

  • Go to the gym: I have never felt better physically as well as mentally since I started at the gym. Yes, working out gives you muscles but it also gives you confidence within yourself and also it is a good method to release anger from outside into pushing, pressing and lifting weights. When I come out of the gym, I feel calm as I have left the majority of my problems behind in the gym. A good starting training programme would be something like Stronglifts.com (a lot you can do at home) or you could google bodyweight exercises like pushups, pullups, body weight rows and the like. Just hit ‘bodyweight exercises’ into google and you’ll find heaps.

 

  • Try Meditation: Look into trying meditation. Its basically when you sit and try and just let thoughts happen and instead o fighting them, just accept them as they come and let them go. It really helps, as I know from personal experience, to calm the mind, let issues slowly lose their strength as you stop fighting them and just accept them and it leaves you calm and relaxed. There are a lot of ways to meditate and even a minute or two a day can really help. I’d advise googling how to meditate and picking the option that best suits you. I use an iphone app called headspace. They have a website too I think that may show ways you can do it online if you don’t have an iphone.

 

  • Let time pass with your mother: You will remain angry at your mum until you deal with the issues you have regarding her and her kicking you out. This doesn’t make you a bad person, bad or wrong. We all have our own demons that we have to deal with. You have taken a great first step in looking for help, that is to be applauded. For me, it was going to a doctor about my OCD. Few ever look to resolve their problems. What we think about is given strength by our minds. If you continually think about how you were treated by your mum, then your anger gets strengthened. We need to change how you look at the whole situation and what you will do from now on. Let’s change your story. What happened with your mum can be fixed (obviously I don’t know the full story but blood is a strong bond). Lets take your focus off the pain and instead look to what is good in your life and what you want to do as a strong, awesome man. You may have made mistakes in the past but you don’t have to live with the effects all your life. You are obviously maturing as you want to resolve internal issues. Be proud of how far you have come. Look forward to what you can become in the future.

 

  • Ok you quit college and what are you going to do now? Do you want to work? Can’t get a job then volunteer? Is there another course you can do? What job or career would you like to try? If you can’t find work, contact your local job centre and ask them about training opportunities and what they can do to help. There are typically schemes that can get you back into work.

 

  • Lay off alcohol and drugs. It may seem like a good thing at the time to forget about your issues but they rarely help and instead will screw up your mind and make you think poorly. Instead try to eat good, real food, drink plenty of water, exercise, read good books, watch little TV but only stuff you really enjoy, start taking up new hobbies and volunteer etc. What we need is for you to break the habits and bad lifestyle choices you may have been living. Albert Einstein once said that ‘the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result’. Therefore, we need you to do something different and really snap you out of your pain and change your life for the better. Listen to the interview with Elliott again for some ideas.

 

  • Use NLG guys as role models. Something that really helped me was acting like guys from films – one of the reasons why I started the site. Watch guys who are Next Level Guys and copy the good things into your life and reject what doesn’t work for you. Read some of the articles I have on the site for ideas on what you can do. Oh and recommend topics for me to write about or films you want to see written about. I love hearing from my readers.

 

  • Real happiness will come but it will take work. Don’t pretend anymore. By pretending to be happy, you are creating a false sense of identity. You need to do as you feel the real you and from your gut. If you are unhappy then say so. If someone angers you (calmly) say so. If someone wants you to do something and you don’t want to, say why and say no to them. Stop pretending. Listen to the real AW inside. Your gut will tell you what you really think and feel. You only get one chance at this life mate and I want you to have the best life possibly. you may have made mistakes but you can change. Right now if you want. Look up Brent Smith (lifestyle coach) on youtube (he also does a free coaching thing on sundays but I can’t remember where but google will say). Brent explains about how we carry pain etc by the story we accept about ourselves. We believe this story and a lot of times it is completely wrong but we live it anyway. Brent ascertains that we can change our story and therefore our lives as soon as we want to. His stuff is good, check him out.

 

  • It took m ages to ‘jump in’ and blog, hell even longer to post audio interviews! You seen some of the negative remarks I got? I would never have posted that (or even asked Elliott to record it) a while ago. I used to be terrified of everything and my life but I took baby steps. I started small. I got better with women by being sociable and chatting to everyone (cashiers, postmen, guys at my work, girls I didn’t fancy and did and so on) and slowly I got more confident and more social and it made me better with women in effect (see RSDNation.com if you want to get better with women, its an awesome site). Fear will come always. Your brain has three sections. One of the sections is the lowest section of the brain that has a basic job to keep you safe and alive. However, it hasn’t really evolved since the caveman days. It still thinks there is snakes and lions everywhere, it doesn’t understand that, for example, rejection from a girl is nowhere near the same as being chased from a lion. It just wants to keep you safe. you therefore need to show it PROOF, not thoughts, PROOF that you can do these things and stay safe and then the fear will lessen a bit. You do a bit more and it will lessen even more and so on. Then your comfort zone will be expanded and you will become even more badass till you reach the limits of your comfort zone and then you repeat the technique. I have details about this sort of stuff on the site.

 

I could go on here but I think that this is plenty to be getting on with. You don’t need money for pretty much any of this. Send me an email in and let me know how you are getting on or ask a friend or a family member if you can report to them to keep you accountable and taking action (google accountability partner). Feel free to send me an email anytime mate. You took the first step, now take the next one and the next etc towards becoming the next level version of yourself.

Keep reading the articles and please comment on them and let me know what you think.

Hope this helps mate and I look forward to hearing from you.

Ian

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Become the Strongest Version of You – Elliott Hulse (Part 2/2)

Today’s post, is the final installment of the interview with Elliott. I hope this helps make your day awesome! (If you want part one, then click me!

Who: Elliott Hulse

Where is he normally: Elliott’s Blog and Elliott’s Awesome Youtube channel.

Why should you care about this: Elliott is simply awesome. He is the kind of guy that when you first hear him talk, you’ll think he is crazy, then after a few videos, you become a major fan. The guy is so inspiring, he is so passionate about life and how you become the best and strongest version of you that you possibly can be. Instead of the standard advice that most ‘self-improvement gurus’ give nowadays, Elliott gives real, practical and life changing advice. His youtube series ‘Yo Elliott’ answers fans questions and he covers such a wide range of topics that there really is something for everyone. From personal experience, I have dealt with some problems, understood things better and got the kick up the ass I needed for a lot of his videos.

The following is a the second part of the Skype interview that I held with Elliott yesterday. Enjoy the final part of Elliott giving kick-ass lifestyle advice!

Please watch and let me know what you think in the comments below. Thanks.

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Become the Strongest Version of You – Elliott Hulse (Part1/2)

Today we have part two of the awesome conversation I had with the one and only Elliott Hulse.

I think this interview is simply awesome and I hope you get a lot out of it too.

Who: Elliott Hulse

Where is he normally: Elliott’s Blog and Elliott’s Awesome Youtube channel.

Why should you care about this: Elliott is simply awesome. He is the kind of guy that when you first hear him talk, you’ll think he is crazy, then after a few videos, you become a major fan. The guy is so inspiring, he is so passionate about life and how you become the best and strongest version of you that you possibly can be. Instead of the standard advice that most ‘self-improvement gurus’ give nowadays, Elliott gives real, practical and life changing advice. His youtube series ‘Yo Elliott’ answers fans questions and he covers such a wide range of topics that there really is something for everyone. From personal experience, I have dealt with some problems, understood things better and got the kick up the ass I needed for a lot of his videos.

The following is a Skype interview that I held with Elliott yesterday. Unfortunately, the recording software has let me down and Elliott was kind enough to upload it on his channel and he has added some kick ass pics and whatnot from his coaching and personal life.

Please watch and let me know what you think in the comments below. Thanks.

Please Note: This is Part One, the Second installment will be released next week.

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I Tried: DDP Yoga!

Product: DDP Yoga

Who from: ‘DDP Yoga’ is brought to you by former wrestler, actor and now turned Yoga-entrepreneur ‘Diamond’ Dallas Page, or as he is better known to his legions of fans, ‘D.D.P’! Dallas discovered yoga through his wife, while he was rehabbing an injury he had sustained in the ring. He was approaching the age where the majority of performers typically were forced to retire due to the effects of injuries and wear and tear accumulated from wrestling. However, Dallas found that through yoga, he managed to get into the best shape of his life. He went on to win the title when he returned to the ring and continued to perform in the top tier of wrestling for years after. It was at this point that Dallas realised the benefits of yoga and how it can can change people’s life. He realised that he could help so many people but first he would need to shift the unfortunate stigma that yoga had gathered over the years and find a way to get the masses into yoga and build a hot body. This lead to ‘DDP Yoga’ being born!

What is it: ‘DDP Yoga’ is a type of yoga that originated as ‘Yoga for the Guys’ (or my favourite term for it – ‘Broga’!) but it has gradually evolved over time into a badass, low impact, challenging yet calming, awesome workout program for anyone of any age or fitness level. It can either be performed as an accompaniment to your fitness plan or it can be the only workout you do and still see a great transformation to your body.

‘DDP Yoga’ uses what is known as Dynamic Resistance. What is that you ask? Well, I’ll let DDP answer that:

Dynamic Resistance is what makes DDP Yoga so powerful and so unique. I guess you could call it my “secret sauce.” You don’t need weights, bands or gadgets; the only resistance equipment you need is your body, because dynamic resistance uses counteracting muscles to continuously resist your movement. In simple terms, it’s like flexing all of your muscles as you move from one position to another. Dynamic resistance increases your heart rate and gets you into your Fat Burning zone. It converts slow moving, easy activity into fat-blasting muscle toning that quickly builds a sexy, slender, strong body.”

‘DDP Yoga’ basically involves you performing a range of moves (which are dependant on the pack purchased), keeping certain muscles tensed as you move, while at the same time, you control your breathing. Sounds simple, right? Try it! Dallas has formulated the workout so that you work the entire body, challenge yourself (regardless of your fitness), burn fat , build muscles (many that you miss in typical workout programmes) and be pumped up enough to do it again at the end of the move set without putting any pressure or strain on your joints and limbs.

Basically, it does this sort of thing – what could you do with ‘DDP Yoga?’:

What do you get with it:

(Full Disclosure – I was given a free copy to review after I interviewed DDP. To listen to the interview, click here)

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With the entry-level pack, you get:

  • A handy wall chart showing all of the basic moves and the movement transitions, which looks great on your wall. This is great for a reference tool.
  • The DVD’s in cool envelope sleeves that are colourful and inspiring.
  • A great user manual. It is littered with handy tips on nutrition, how to perform the moves, exercise timetabling, lifestyle and so on. It is written with DDP’s unique sense of personality and passion. I won’t go into great detail about the manual here but suffice to say, I would have happily bought this as an additional purchase to the DVD’s, due to the quality of it.
How did I find it?

Pro’s

  • Open to all: You can start it, at any age, any gender and almost fitness level. ‘DDP Yoga’ is an unbiased exercise platform that is open to anyone and can still change anyone’s life. There really is no entrance requirements to start. It doesn’t matter who you are or what your history is, ‘DDP Yoga’ will improve you. It helps fix your posture, make you more flexible and stronger and have a number of additional benefits to the rest of your life (including having sex – trust me, it really helps!).
  • Very Inspiring Guy: You can’t help but find Dallas very inspiring. There is just something about him, that when he talks, you get drawn in. He’s full of energy, passion and personality. DDP does a great job of explaining the moves and his yoga in a way that motivates you to workout. When you watch it, it’s like he’s your own personal trainer, which as a wrestling fan is awesome!
  • Hot Girls: One of the things that draws you in are the demonstrators. Not only are they in great physical shape, give great demonstrations of the exercise and with such passion and vitality but they are also really, really hot! What more can you want from such a programme – great workout and hot babes! With ‘DDP Yoga’ you get both in droves!

 

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  • Very descriptive & Informative: Dallas expertly explains all the moves, with very descriptive terms and terminology but he does so in a way that you can feel if you are doing them right or wrong. I have used many programmes in my time but the majority just give you instructions of how to do something and it is up to you to figure out if you are doing it right. Not ‘DDP Yoga’. In this programme, Dallas describes how you should feel, how the muscles should feel inside your body and so on. Dallas does an awesome job of helping you get the most from this programme by submerging you as deeply into it as possible.
  • Gives Examples: Something I really liked was the way that someone else would demonstrate and Dallas would explain what was a good or bad way of doing the exercise and Dallas would break down the exercise and show the muscles being used. This allowed me to get a deeper understanding of the exercise and know whether I was doing it right or wrong. It was great as by Dallas doing this style of explanation, you become more in tune with your body as you feel the exercise rather than try and do as you remember.
  • Cool Names: One of the problems that I found with original yoga were the names. They were all so flowery and either too spiritual or girly for my taste. It was hard to take it serious when you were told to get into certain positions that made you question your masculinity. However, with ‘DDP Yoga’ its different. There is still some traditional yoga terminology in there but Dallas has mixed this up with names taken from wrestling holds and the like. It’s hard not to smirk with coolness as you perform moves with names like ‘Road Warrior’, ‘Thunderbolt’ and my favourite the ‘Diamond Cutter’ (where you make DDP’s trademarked wrestling taunt … in a yoga pose!). This is a great idea as we no longer associate his yoga with what ‘the girls’ do but instead as a exercise programme to get into a badass shape.
  • It doesn’t take long: I started noticing subtle changes in my body, pretty much from the first few weeks of performing the programme. You notice little bits of fat leave here and there and your muscles feel like they can contract tighter and overall you feel fitter and stronger, with spikes in how flexible you are. Yet, you hardly feel as if you are working out. Too often, a workout programme must be followed for a few months to see any changes and the impact it has on your body causing you to stop due to fatigue or wear and tear. However, with ‘DDP Yoga’ you start to look and feel awesome pretty much from the start with no strain on your joints, no real drain on your energy levels and no equipment needed – you can literally do it anywhere. The workouts are very short and with a lot of variety in the moves too so you won’t get bored very easily either.
  • Different Levels of the Exercises: A lot of the exercises chosen can be altered to suit differing levels of fitness. For example, the slow push-ups can be done either with the legs fully extended or on the knees. This customisation to suit various fitness levels, allows the programme to be available to all people regardless of how fit they currently are. It was cool to see on the DVD how originally some of the demonstrators struggled when they started the programme and how far they had come after following the programme for a while.

 

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Con’s

  • True Test of Fitness: The thing with ‘DDP Yoga’ is that it seems easy. ‘DDP Yoga’ seems like something that your average meathead will think they can do easily. However, ‘DDP Yoga’ really shows you how fit you truly are. Dalla’s yoga removes all equipment, it removes the ability to cheat, all excuses, all bullshit. With ‘DDP Yoga’ it shows you your true fitness level. You can’t lie to yourself anymore. It will show you where the flaws in your fitness are and what you need to work on. However with the change you see from performing ‘DDP Yoga’ and Dallas being in your fitness tag team, you will be soon shooting for fitness gold!
  • Breathing: It was very difficult at times to remember about the demonstrate breathing patterns. There is an introductory video on breathing and then it is not mentioned during the exercise demonstrations. I think that it would helped if how to breathe during the exercise was mentioned at the same time as how to do the exercise. This way, you would learn the moves and lock in the breathing technique as you learned the moves. Breathing sounds so simple but when you have so much else to concentrate on, it would have helped to have even a gentle reminder about breathing now and then when they were explaining the exercises.
  • Difficult to keep up at times: There were times when Dallas would perform an exercise (or a demonstrator would) and demonstrate the full movement through and then you were invited to perform the same move with him after watching the demonstrations. Unfortunately, not all of the moves were like this. Some went straight into you being asked to do the move at the same time. I found myself occasionally clicking the DVD back to watch it again and to perform the move at the correct time, which was a slight annoyance.
  • No mention of how to pick out workout spots: Something that I found was missing from the introduction, was there was no mention of how to pick out your exercise location. The movements require you to stretch your body and limbs, which can mean going on all fours, stretching out arms and legs and so on. You need to pick an area that is clutter free, away from breakables etc to work out in. I had to reposition where I was as I was too big for the area beside my writing desk! A few minutes explaining the sort of space to work out in would have helped e.g. find an area that you can stretch your arms out in all directions or something similar.
  • You will get jealous!: The demonstrators and Dallas himself are very fit people. There is no getting away from that. The ease that they get into positions was great to watch but can be draining at you as you try and put your sweaty self into a similar pose! However, the jealousy merely spurns you on to try harder and get to their level! You want to create a great body like Dalla’s and use it to get the yoga hotties that are in the videos!
OK, tell me straight – Is it Worth the money in a few words?

Hell Yes! Cards on the table, I got a free copy of the first level ‘DDP Yoga’. But I would have more than happily paid for it. I really cannot state how much quality I feel comes with ‘DDP Yoga’. It gets you into great shape but doesn’t drain you or pound your body like weights and the like do. You feel clearer in your mind, you are more flexible and you get a great body to attract hot chicks with. I haven’t found a downside yet! I would wholeheartedly recommend ‘DDP Yoga’ to anyone, including my mates and I am now proud to say I do yoga and it’s helping me to become a badass!

OK, I want it, where do I get it?

If you want to be part of the cool kids, you can pick up DDP Yoga, by clicking here.

You can follow Dallas on Twitter here and Like him on Facebook here.

 

The following are recordings of my interview with DDP. Sadly, I was using a awful call recorder back then so I only have the audio on these youtube videos but I will have a proper audio player copy up soon.

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