Month: January 2013

Become a New Man – Tripp Lanier

Today, we continue the series of interviews with Next Level Guys. For this installment, I grabbed a few moments with Tripp Lanier of the New Man Podcast fame to discuss men and where we are going wrong as a gender.

WHO AM I TALKING TO?

Who: Tripp Lanier

Where is He normally: http://www.thenewmanpodcast.com/

You can get his superb free video tip series at: http://TheNewManual.com

Why should I care?: Tripp’s material is life changing. There is no other way to put it. I discovered Tripp during a really bad time in my life. I was struggling with a lot of bullshit and I needed answers to some questions that were plaguing me. Unfortunately, men are very timid to talk about their problems and many will just try and hide away from their issues. I found Tripp’s site on one of my nights hunt for new material to digest online and I’ve never stopped listening. He covers a WIDE range of topics that appeal to all men, he gives as much great advice as he receives from his guests, he gets answers to the questions we are afraid to ask and he does so with one of the coolest voices I’ve heard on a podcast yet. You can’t help but like him! Check him out now!

SO WHAT DID TRIPP HAVE TO SAY?

NLG: Hi Tripp, thanks for joining us. You give out some awesome advice out on your site and interview leading experts but can you please tell me what advice has really hit home most for you in all the interviews that you’ve done?

TL: I think most of us are all swimming in the same water. And to some degree we’re all trying to prove something — that we’re smart enough, attractive enough, strong enough, manly enough, etc. Many of us aren’t even aware that this need to prove that we’re good enough is driving almost everything we do. It’s exhausting.

But the most powerful thing is realizing that underneath much of this “pursuit” is the reality that we’re already good enough just as we are. We’re worthy of love just as we are.

That’s a tough one for many to swallow. It can be for me and I find I have to remind myself regularly. “Yes, you can go create X,Y,Z and do this and that but don’t forget that you’re already good enough. This other shit doesn’t define who you truly are.”

Living life without something to prove is truly liberating. Try it sometime.

 

NLG: Good answer. We men seem to think we need to achieve things to be ‘complete’ when we are aalready all we need to be right now. So what in your opinion defines a ‘real man’?

TL: I don’t get into the discussion about what a “real man” is. Sadly, I think most of us are looking too far outside of ourselves for direction. It’s natural and to a large extent fear based. “If I don’t fit in, if I don’t appear to be a ‘real man’ then something bad may happen.” The gutsiest thing we can do is to listen to ourselves, to be who we really are — even if that means being rather feminine or going against the grain of what many may judge to be “manly.” To me, that takes true strength.

 

mza_7552304966111017896.170x170-75

 

NLG: I like it. Stop being what you think others want to be and instead listen to that little voice inside and be what you really desire. In today’s age, men face considerably different problems to those that our Grandfathers would have. What do you think is the biggest problems that men face in modern day society?

TL: I think the number of distractions we have these days get in the way of the experiences we truly want. I love my iPhone and computer and think it’s great to catch up with friends old and new on Facebook, but I’m alarmed by how many of us are living our lives through a screen.

I was at a concert and saw thousands of folks watching the show through their phones as they recorded it. My guess is that very few of them will actually go back and watch this shaky video with crappy sound. They missed the opportunity to be impacted by the music and the others enjoying it.

I was at an NFL game a while back and was sitting a few rows from the field. Amazing seats. There was a young man in front of me sitting down watching *the same game* on his phone. He was missing this amazing experience of being in a crowded stadium full of excited people.

I work with some younger men in my coaching practice and texting is robbing them of their ability to relate and connect with women. They’re missing the opportunities to learn how to read and interpret the signals women and other people give us.

And I’m guilty of getting sucked into a screen at home instead of playing with my daughter on the phone. Days of playing with my daughter are numbered. Do I really want to be on my phone instead of laughing and giggling with her? Of course not.

Again, I’m not anti-tech, but I think it’s sad that more of us are choosing to miss out on the amazing experiences happening all around us. Being checked out impacts everything we truly care about and want. Being distracted places a wall between ourselves and what we truly want in life.

 

NLG: I’m guilty of that! We need to stop trying to record life and instead actually live in the moment of the event as it happens. The ironic thing is that Social Media has caused us to forget how to be Social!

I get a lot of emails from people who want to change but feel they ‘just can’t’ due to X, Y or Z. What advice would you give someone who wants to change but feels he ‘just can’t’ because of depression or whatever – how can they just ‘let go’ and be who they want to be?

TL: I’m not a mental health professional so I won’t speak to depression or mental illness other than to say, if you’re depressed get professional help. As for “letting go” and being who they are — it’s about baby steps. Clarify one thing you would do if you weren’t afraid or if you didn’t have to prove XYZ. It doesn’t matter how small. Then find the smallest step you can take towards doing that. Do that everyday. We’ve heard this many times. It’s a cliche because it’s true.

This is where having a coach is helpful. A good coach will help you clarify what you really want, what actions would be satisfying, and then hold you accountable to follow through.

No idea alone is going to really make the change. Making different choices and behaviors creates change.

 

thenewmanpodcast

 

NLG: Your site is littered with Grade-A interviews, many of which I have favorited on my computer. However, what do you consider your three best interviews personally and why?

TL: I loved the “How to Navigate an Woman’s Emotional Minefield” series with my wife, Alyson Schwabe Lanier and Christiane Pelmas. It was juicy to talk about my attraction for other women with my wife and to do so in front of the mics.

Click here for part 1

Click here for part 2

And I really enjoyed interviewing Laird Hamilton. There’s something really rewarding about how an interview may start off with a structured vibe and then start to relax into just a good conversation. I love that. This show hasn’t gone live yet. It’ll be up in February. Stay tuned.

 

NLG: That is one interview I really can’t wait to hear. Laird is a hero of mine and for him to be chatting with Tripp, its going be an awesome chance to hit the Next Level in your life! Thanks for taking the time to chat to us Tripp!

 

SOCIAL MEDIA LINKS

If you enjoyed that and want to find out more about Tripp, then please use the following links:

 

GET THE EMAIL NEWSLETTER!

Just enter your Email Address below to
get regular badass goodies sent direct to your inbox!


The Best of the Web #1

Good day all.

Welcome back to NLG. Unfortunately, I have been burning the candle at both ends for too long now and have ended up with the delights of a chest infection. So in between coughs, low energy and feeling sick, I decided none of the posts I have tried writing are good enough to publish but I still wanted to publish something for you to absorb and use to better yourself. So I decided to write up a look at the best youtube videos I have been using recently to hit the Next Level.

It wouldn’t be hard to believe that I read a lot and watch a lot of videos on many topics, especially when I am sick. The intake of knowledge allows me to forget about the pain and suffering that illness brings. In other words, it keeps me cheery when I feel like shit. Youtube has been like my own personal Florence Nightingale and kept me sane when I was bed bound.

The following will be a hopefully regular series, of videos I have found and feel they are worthy enough to show you. Obviously, I own none of the content but I am sure that the owners will not mind me putting their material up as it will promote their work and I give all rights and thumbs up to the respective owners. I will try and cover a wide range of topics (well as many as I can without needing to sleep again!), so please watch and comment on whether any of this helped, why or why not and if you have any recommendations for me to investigate.

 


This is a great video about why we should be bad at things. As people, we tend to shy away from things that we are good at. It makes sense for us to show off our strengths rather than acknowledge our weaknesses. As Roman states, this is stupid as we will never grow and develop as a person. To put it bluntly, we will always be bad at something when we start. As we progress though, we will get better, even if we never get amazing at it or even competently, we will get better to some degree. By accepting failure and trying, we will no longer be an immature little boy and instead open our lives out to a whole range of possibilities that we would have never known is possible. Each person has great gifts that they can share. However, you don’t get given the information of what your gifts are. Maybe that is life’s purpose, to find out what you were given to share with the world. So you will need to try a lot of different things to find your gifts and to do that you will need to accept you will suck at first. As Roman says, you will need to be ok with being bad at first. What are you going to be bad at first?

 


This is a great video by Elliott Hulse. As Elliott says, we all attach meaning and a story to everything we do. We allow these stories, which are rarely true or which we have outgrown, to dictate what we do and how we do it. Unfortunately, these stories are allowed by the majority of people to hold them in place, like an anchor. They allow them to control them and their life. By giving up on these stories and letting go, we can hit heights that we never imagined possible. As humans we need to give meaning to what happens to us and in the world around us, this is natural and we have been doing it since we existed. However, it is when we allow the stories and meaning to govern us that we are fucked. Watch this video and tell me if your stories are true or now.

 


I really like this video. I struggled with this concept at the start when I first went out trying to approach girls. I started by trying to impress people and trying to show the girl I was cool … sadly that made me weak as I was selling myself and my worth to the girl and she was the buyer … this is a weak place to come from. Instead, Alex shows how you are all you need to be to get what you want. You just need to draw the fun and enjoyment from yourself. You don’t ‘need’ people to make you whole, you can draw everything you need from within and get the girls. Can you draw the state from within yourself on a night out or do you think he’s talking bullshit?

 


This is another great video by Elliott Hulse. In this video, Elliott takes a weight-lifting question and turns it into a life-altering way to look at things. We as men, have been led to believe that we need to beat other men in something ‘manly’ to be considered worthy. The problem is that we are not all the same, we all have our own unique gifts and talents. ‘Manly’ things are not a great indicator of a person’s worth as they are not a true measure of a person. Instead, as Elliott advises, we should be looking within to find that unique talents that we each have and bring that out into the world. If we judge ourselves against others, we will always lose as their is always going to be someone better than you at some point. However, the only real way to judge yourself, is if you are better in yourself today than you were yesterday. We all have talents and instead of caring how this person can do X, Y or Z better than you, why not turn that energy back around and instead of wasting it, look at your own life and what you can do and use your gifts. You are unique. There will never be another version of you … ever. You are here … now … why look to compare yourself on something that is maybe not your gift. Instead why not find out who you are and give your skill out to the world to better. Good energy makes the world a better place. Negativity (like hate, jealousy, pain etc) makes you suffer. Which one will you do? Why not find out what you were brought into the world to do?

 

I could go here. I have literally thousands of videos that I could use and write about however I don’t want to flood you with information and awesomeness. I’ll put more up and turn this into a cool wee series. The beauty of these videos (and the others) is that they have really helped me. I suffer from depression and lately, it has been really hard to write posts, as you will most likely have noticed. Depression is a horrible illness as it can stop you from what you enjoy doing and sap your energy, at the same time making you feel worthless for not being able to endure through it and still do it. These videos have greatly helped me when I was in the blackest of moods as well as soaring in the clouds (yes, I really did just write that!). Some times they are simply enjoyable and cheer you up and other times they can shake how you see the world to your very foundations and make you a better person. I have, despite the bouts of depression, bettered my life in all areas and I feel that these videos and Next Level Guys helped me to do that and I should share their message.

Watch these videos and as Bruce Lee would say, absorb what is useful and shun the rest. Some of the techniques and thinking may work for me and not for you. However, it is good to open your mind to as many new concepts as you can. We are all worthy. We are all great people. We all have unique traits and skills that we can give to make the world and others better and lead enjoyable lives at the same time. You cannot be better or worse than someone else unless you compare your worth against them and you cannot control external factors. Instead control yourself and find out what you were put here to do, what is it that made you be born. I’m not religious in the slightest but we all seem to have something that we are here to do, why not find out what it is inside yourself? You have everything inside yourself already that you need to succeed, you just need to keep trying different things and learn new things and eventually you will unlock the mental padlock we are all born with and your talents will be available to use.

Have a watch, think about them and let me know what you think in the comments below. Thank you.

GET THE EMAIL NEWSLETTER!

Just enter your Email Address below to
get regular badass goodies sent direct to your inbox!


Happy New Year to all!

Happy New Year from all at Next Level Guy!

I would like to take this opportunity to wish you all the best for a happy, healthy, prosperous and awesome year!

A new year is a perfect time to go for the things that you want in life. Don’t bother wasting time with affirmations or resolutions as they don’t work.

Simply pick what you want from your life and go and get it. It’s that simple.

Start now … or when you’ve sobered up!