How to have laser focus on a goal – Kobe Bryant (La Lakers)




 What are these clips about?

Kobe Bryant and his Laser Focus.

Bryant is a extra-ordinary talent on the Basketball field. He seems unstoppable while he is driving to the backboard to score. He seems to have a laser focus on the basket and nothing else comes into consideration. He plays with passion and is willing to take the game deciding shots when needed. He plays fully present in the moment and is focused on winning and the joy of the game, more than for a trophy at the end of it.


Why should I care?
  • Bryant is focused on winning. He knows his overall goal and the RAS part of his brain focuses solely on winning. He blanks out all the distractions and goes after the target, in this case to win the game and score points. You should adopt this approach when in a club – forget the distractions and focus on the girls you want. You want similar laser focus.
  • Bryant is highly passionate about playing, he plays for the love of the game and enjoys being present in the moment fully. Bryant is one of the best players ever because he focuses his energy on his goal, he tries the shots that others won’t due to fear of missing, he will take game deciding shots and is willing to risk failure to succeed. If you are only experiencing success in a club, the chances are you are sticking to easy ‘targets’. Step outside your comfort zone and go for the hotter girls.
  • Bryant is a prime example of someone who wants to be the best. He practises the basics again and again. He puts in the hours of repetitive work to make his actions automatic and to happen the same regardless of environment. Practise your pick up skills too, so regardless of what environment you are in, you act as the skills are part of you. Bryant has the confidence to make the game deciding shots simply because he has worked his ass off and learnt how to make these shots hundreds of times before. He has reference points of his success and brings these onto the court on game day to draw confidence from.
  • Having a goal to focus on will ensure you work towards it. By being completely focused on the goal, you won’t procrastinate or muck around. Make your goal part of your identity (e.g. to become the best with women). Identify with the change you want to become and work towards it.


Sounds good, any tips on how I can rock that too?
  • Pick a goal that means something to you. Don’t pick a goal that is expected of you or that is wanted for you by parents, girlfriends etc. You need to find out who you are and what you want from life. When you find something that ‘feels right’, you will find that you focus on it automatically.
  • Look at your life objectively. You will find that the 80/20 rule applies – 20% of your actions will provide 80% of your main benefits. Cut out those actions that don’t work for you (e.g. watching crappy TV, not approaching in clubs, not going to the gym etc). You will find that there are a lot of actions that you do that hold you back – 80/20 will allow you to remove the wasteful actions. Focus solely on the things that lead you towards your goals.
  • Put the hours of practise in. Your brain is distracted daily by the numerous interruptions that we have in our daily lives. You need to practise focusing in on your goal to teach your brain to focus on only on what you want. At first, your brain will struggle against the change as it is out of your comfort zone. However, with some practise, the brain should start to phase out external junk and focus only on what matters.
  • Be willing to lose. Step outside your comfort zone.Be willing to sacrifice things to drive towards your goals. Be 100% committed towards your goal and be clear in your thoughts, words and actions – your intent is towards your goal and you need your thoughts, words and actions to be 100% aimed at achieving your goal.
  • The following videos will help you grasp these concepts further:




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The difference between Confidence and Arrogance – Muhammad Ali


What is it?

Character: Muhammad Ali
From: Boxing
Type: Sport Stars
What is this clip about: Michael Parkinson is retiring and is showing clips of his favourite guests he has interviewed, Ali being one. In this video, there are different clips of their interviews and how Ali treads the line majestically between confidence and arrogance. Ali is perhaps the greatest boxer of all time yet, he never comes across as arrogant.

Why should I watch it?

  • Ali is considered the greatest boxer of all time. He made mountains of money and had every person around him telling him he was the greatest, yet Ali is self-aware throughout the interview, uses wit and irony and humour to just be himself. If he had been arrogant, he would have been more stand offish, he wouldn’t have been as open towards the ‘deeper’ questions (e.g. about getting hurt).
  • Ali had a big goal in his life and he worked hard towards achieving it. As he did so, Ali accumulated reference points from others, of how good he was (the numerous knockouts etc). Yet, he never becomes arrogant. He enjoys making others laugh, bringing the crowd into the fun and making the experience unforgettable for all. He appreciates his fans and loves to interact with them.
  • Watch Ali’s body language, it is a supreme display of self-confidence. He leans back and has open and inviting body language. When he talks, he locks on eye contact and talks slowly, clearly and in a deep masculine voice. Parkinson can’t help but be drawn into him, notice how Parkinson leans forward, like he is being sucked into the experience Ali is creating.
  • Ali dresses to impress. Ali took pride in his appearance and it gave him confidence to know he looked good. If he were arrogant, I would have expected him to bring a Championship belt to the interview.
  • Ali was aware that he has his faults. He knew that to be the best, he had to learn new skills and become the best at them. He analysed his opponents and got in their heads. He was humble enough to know they had weaknesses and he sought them out. Ali wasn’t stupid enough to assume he would always win regardless.
  • You won’t find anyone to say Ali is arrogant. Yet, everyone (of a certain age-range anyway) typically uses him when asked for a confident male.


How can I do that?

  • Like Ali, you need to get a goal in your life. Pick something that is far away from your current reality, and something that you will need to work hard to achieve it. You can’t get arrogant if you know you always need to improve. Life should always be about improvement and bettering yourself.
  • Be self-aware, you will know inside if you have become the sort of person that people will avoid. Watch other people’s reactions. Ask for feedback from them. It becomes apparent quickly when people are not impressed with how you are behaving (and most will tell you soon enough if you are being a arrogant dick!).
  • It is OK to be great at something but always remember that you can always learn something about it, you are never perfect. Be proud of your achievements but it should never be all there is about you.
  • Spend time with others, look to help them if possible. Ali is aware that others aren’t him, that others aren’t as good as him. He brings others into his experience, to make them have a great time. Do the same.
  • Become confident by working towards your goals. Use the successes as reference points to build your confidence. Use the failures as learning experiences. Always consider yourself a pupil learning and never the teacher and you should stay on the right side of confidence and never become arrogant.


How was it? Did it blow your mind or suck ass? Let me know in the comments below and then watch another!

How to own a room – the Rock (WWE)

Character: The Rock (Dwayne Johnson)
From: WWE (Professional Wrestling)
Type: Sport
Year: 2004

What is the scene about?:

In this scene, ‘The Rock’ (Dwayne Johnson) has shockingly returned to the WWE after an absence. He interrupts the ‘RAW Diva Search’ competition – this weeks installment been run by Jonathan ‘The Coach’ Coachman – and takes charge. Now, I don’t care what you think about professional wrestling, you can love it or hate it but I stand by my opinion, that no-one can entertain and own a room like Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson. This guy has a room of thousands following his every word. He talks with such passion and intensity, you feel drawn into what he is saying. I don’t doubt that every women there wanted to fuck him and every guy wanted to be him.

In this clip, he interrupts, delights the crowd, flirts with some hot women and ‘fights’ a couple of people. This is also a perfect comparison scene between the beta (Coach) and the Alpha (The Rock) male and how women react to him and social proof.


What makes him an AM:

00.01 – 00.51 Coach is in the ring. He is trying to stamp his authority and appear ‘macho’ to the women. He is failing miserably. As a Beta male, he is attempting to come across as Alpha and dominant. As it is not really in his character, it comes across as fake and pathetic (and very Beta).

00.51 – 02.58 The Rock enters. For this time, he doesn’t say anything. He simply struts down to the ring in a confident manner and shows his authority (a type of  peacocking – doing something to stand out from the other guys e.g. outrageous clothing. It is like when a peacock displays their tail feathers. The girl peacock goes for the best display and mates with him. Dating guys used to use this principle years ago. They thought by standing out from the crowd, they’d be more attractive – typically though they just looked like fucking idiots. thankfully it has come on dramatically now and few do this anymore) by showing his muscles, and plays to the crowd by interacting with them. He doesn’t need to speak a word, he just lets the crows build in excitement. They know from previous experience of how funny, alpha and witty he is, so he lets the love from the crowd build to a maximum. He knows they desire to see him, so he lets them build in the excitement before he talks.

02.58 – 4.07 The Rock tools the beta male (Coach). He could easily beat him up but it would kill his attraction (in the real world it would anyway – wrestling is different!). Women love a funny and witty guy who is able to take the mickey out of people, but they HATE violent people. Notice how the Rock stands more upright. His body language is wide and open. He paces about and you can almost feel the intensity he has. When he talks, he has a deep masculine tone. He talks slow but when it speeds up, it has passion and intensity. You believe what he is saying, you know he believes it to be true.

04.11 – 04.28 Once he has dealt with the Beta male, he turns his attention to the women. His conduct has more of a sexual nature to it now. He is flirty, confident almost to the point of cocky but he treads a thin line here. Now in this scenario, the Rock is attractive as the wrestling is hyped up more than normal life, so the Rock can be really loud and almost vulgar at times yet gets away with it. However, you would need to be a bit more toned down but still confident and cocky in a bar or club situation, especially as you learn it at first. The Rock starts to demonstrate his appeal to the ladies. He starts pea-cocking by displaying muscles, showing social proof (how much the crowd love him), using sexual connotations on his words and so on.

4.29 – 05.50 The Rock starts to flatter the girls but he keeps just on the right side of sleazy. He could easily sound desperate and perverted if he got the tone and nature of what he said wrong. He demonstrates confidence in himself and his sex appeal without sounding ridiculous. He knows the point to make a joke to avoid seeming arrogant (after the comment about how ‘fine the Rock’ is). Confidence is great, arrogance isn’t. Work on reading the point when you have moved more towards arrogance and use self-depreciating humour to show you are confident but self-aware. He know’s women find him hot and want to bed him but he doesn’t have to flaunt it in people’s faces or try and get them to believe it. He just needs to be himself.

05.50 – 06.30 To further amp his emotional state, and to show more social proof (and prove that he has numerous options to the girls), he brings another girl into the conversation (at ringside). He looks directly at her and turns his body language to her. He continues his balance of jokey and sexual commentary, bringing the girl into the conversation, who until now had been watching. The Rock is great at making the girl feel like she is the only girl in the world as he speaks to her but also involve everyone else too. He builds the chemistry with her, he insults her but does so in a playful manner*, the Rock shows it is a jest and she plays along by showing responsive pretend outrage but returns eye contact and leans forward showing she is into him. Things like mock outrage, playing ‘reprimanding’ slaps on the arm from the girl etc are what you want. Slaps across the face, not so much!

*(I disagree with using ‘Negs’ – intentional negative comments to a girl to bring her down when doing a push/pull approach. I disagree with them as I feel that you shouldn’t need to bring her down when pulling her. You should be bringing her up and pumping up her emotional state – but that’s more for another post)


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