Here are some key points that I would advise you to concentrate on

• People struggle to achieve their dreams as what they want to do is not in line with the identity that they believe is true for themselves. You need to realign the identity to match the you that you want to be.
• Your Ego is a big problem – we as men can’t accept feedback and be told we aren’t perfect, and we need to accept we are not. You need to outline where you are going wrong AND right, and pick a route to change that.
• We need to give ourselves permission to find that thing we are looking for in life, and not use drink etc to drown out that feeling as we fear the change it may bring. 
• Our identity is created by our actions. It is who we are when we are not thinking about what we do, it is the real actions that we do, not who we claim to be. 
• A lot of men are using the programming today that was formed when we were kids and have never challenged or changed our beliefs and identity. 
• A crisis can be a good thing as it can force you to change your identity. But it would be better to change voluntarily. 
• A lot of what you want to achieve in life will require an identity shift – it shouldn’t be fear, you should see it as a brilliant thing to happen in your life. 
• You should outline the type of and who of the person that you want and need to become to realize your dream. 
• Self-sabotage arises when we are acting on a level that is above the identity level of ourselves that we are clinging to. 
• You know when you have an identity gap – a gap that feels emotionally wrong in our life. 
• You are the common denominator in all your life problems. You either created them or allowed them to remain by keeping them around. 
• If there is part of your identity that you are not happy or proud of, then you should give apologies to others and especially yourself and change, it by acting in a better way, by acting in the way of the person you want to be. Act differently to show yourself that the bad event you did is not the person or identity you are now, and that you are now a new version of yourself. 
• Social media is creating fake and mis-aligned identities that we cling to, where our real life and the image we create on social media do not match and it slowly destroys our confidence and life that we can never be the person we show we are on social media.
• Action ends the suffering, you can only truly change by acting towards who you want to be, by putting in the work. Polishing over cracks will not help you unless you are ready to do the true deep work that will change your identity.
• You will repeat the same type of relationships, same kind of jobs etc, throughout your life, unless you are making the true changes you need to do to change. 
• We are fearful of outcomes and that fear tends to stop us trying to change. We need to not identify with our outcomes as we cannot match the outcome, but instead identify with the action.  You need to go with the journey and the actions, rather than judge yourself against who are trying to be. Be proud of the work you are doing rather than beating yourself up about how you are not that final version yet. 
• You will make mistakes, expect them. But the pain of mistakes as you change is nowhere near as bad as the pain that will arise from being stuck in an identity that you hate. 
• The Rock, Dwayne Johnson is a great example of someone who has made a successful identity shift. 
• Trust your gut when you look at your friends, you know deep down if someone is not a good fit for you or not. We fear being alone, but it may be worth to make the change, the sacrifice for now to lose that friendship, to make that change in life that you want. 
• See what you need to work on, create a plan of what you want to shift to, and work out how you can sustain these changes long enough to internalize this change in our identity. 
• A change will normally take about 90 days. Your whole life could change in that time.
• You cannot change someone else, but you can plant a seed towards change in their life, by working on yourself and let them be encouraged by the change they see in us. 
• We have different identities in our self, we have different identities to cover the different role we play, the worker, the father, the lover etc.