Today’s post is a guest post on a subject few guys talk about … Premature Ejaculation. Today’s guest post author is Patrick Banks, for awesome advice check out Patrick’s site here
Enter Patrick ….
The most common problem relating to sexual dysfunction in men is premature ejaculation. All of you can probably imagine how embarrassing it would be to lie naked in bed with a lovely girl while she stares disappointedly at your soft penis after one minute of intercourse. Her eyes fill up with deception and pity… sounds familiar?
Some time ago I felt so miserable about my sexual performance that I couldn’t focus on my work or any daily activities. For some time I totally lost motivation to interact with women, simply because I didn’t want to see this pitiful disappointment in their eyes ever again in my life!
It took me some time to entirely solve my problem and become fully satisfied with my sex life. Before I reached this point, I looked through thousands of resources on the internet and encountered plenty of myths about premature ejaculation. Sexual issues are such a popular subject nowadays that sometimes it may be easy to lose track of what is actually true and what’s just a misunderstanding or lie.
Let’s finally address the myths and facts surrounding premature ejaculation.
MYTH #1: Premature ejaculation happens only to young and inexperienced men
FACT: Premature ejaculation is the most common sexual dysfunction among men regardless of age
According to the 1999 NHSLS survey by Laumann et al., 30% of men ages 18-29, 32% ages 30-39, 28% ages 40-49, and 31% ages 50-59 stated that climaxing too early was an issue for them. I know that some of you were hoping that age would slow things down naturally , but if the ailment stays untreated, the matter will not get better on its own. Premature ejaculation can potentially lead to divorce and could make it very difficult to start any physical relationship down the road.
MYTH #2: Long penetration is a crucial part of sex
FACT: More than half of sex is mental.
The brain is the most important sexual organ, which is especially true for women. Haven’t you noticed that female porn stars rarely experience orgasms despite long, intense penetration? That’s because sex isn’t just physical – most of it occurs within the mind. This means that even if you WERE able to penetrate her for hours there’s no guarantee that she would like it or even experience an orgasm.
The average time it takes for a woman to reach orgasm is 10-15 minutes. However, you can drastically improve that timeframe if you arouse her with foreplay and stimulate her in various ways (not just vaginally). If you want to be an amazing lover , you need to be phenomenal at foreplay and make sure that your partner gets enough of the emotional support and cuddling.
MYTH #3: Watching porn doesn’t influence your performance in bed
FACT: Porn Consumption trains you to cum too early
Watching adult videos impacts dopamine production–the hormone responsible for controlling your ejaculation reflex. If you watch porn excessively you teach yourself to come too quickly developing bad habits especially if you start at a very early age. The access to a variety of sexual acts and fetishes can be very addictive and leads you to masturbate to quickly achieve orgasm, just to get your next dopamine rush. What’s more, by exceeded porn consumption you may build up a dopamine resistance. While masturbating with extra stimulations, such as porn, can lead you to orgasm in a very short time, it fails to involve your other senses (such as touching or smelling your girlfriend’s body, etc.) which has a different effect on your receptors.
MYTH #4: Your thoughts during sex doesn’t change how long you can last
FACT: Performance anxiety is a big endurance killer
I think we all know that feeling. You’re about to have sex with your girl and suddenly these thoughts invade your mind: “OMG, I’m already way too horny and we haven’t even started yet… What if I come too quickly again? She’ll think I’m a loser…” If you have experienced coming too early in the past, your thoughts and feelings often times can induce premature ejaculation, resulting in a self-fulfilling prophecy. Instead of being relaxed and enjoying sex you think “OMG, I’m already way too horny… What if I come too quickly again?” You try so hard NOT to come that you come much earlier than you would like to.
As I mentioned before, the sex is extremely mental, so our habits directly influence our performance. Even men with frequent sex can get extra-aroused, because in his mind he is trained to come too early. Reducing anxiety works differently for everyone. There are several methods that can be used to rewire your mind to have better sex. Among these methods are hypnosis, NLP, or meditation.
MYTH #5: It`s not possible to teach yourself to perform longer without taking pills
FACT: You can rewire your brain and train your “sex-muscles” With kegel exercises
It is totally possible to entirely solve the problem of premature ejaculation. However, it requires some time and complex routine changes regarding your mental and physical habits. Performing kegel exercises, which were designed to train your pelvic floor muscles, brings numerous benefits like greater control over ejaculation and enhanced sexual function.
Contrary to most advice on the internet, just having strong pelvic muscles won’t do anything for you. You have to know at what moments to flex them and when to relax them. This will make a huge difference, especially when combined with natural supplements and relaxation techniques.
ABOUT THE WRITER
Patrick Banks is a Berlin based writer with over 5 years of experience providing sex and dating advice. He is a fierce optimist who believes in the power of making life happen. He shares his opinions on his Wingman Magazine.