Reader Queries #3

Today’s post is a question I received from a reader about scars and how to overcome being concerned about what people will think. The advice I give is mostly focused towards keloids but is transferable so that you can adapt the advice to deal with any inner demons you have on your body image issues.

For those who don’t know, keloid scars are raised benign tumours caused by the body overproducing collagen to wound sites. On a normal wound, the majority of people’s bodies know when to stop putting collagen to a wound site to repair it. However, with people who have keloids, their bodies dont know and produce (what some see as) unsightly, red, itchy and painful lumps.

Reader: LS

Question: I just watched your interview with Patrick Chase and you mentioned you had keloid scares. I also have keloid scares and had inner game issues as to whether women would accept me. Glad to hear you have overcome some of this. How did women deal with your keloids? Have you been able to meet high quality women? Thanks, LS

My Answer: Hey LS, Yes, I have keloid scars, some on my hips, back, shoulder and arms. They can’t be hidden and unsightly. I am white and have keloids so you can imagine how few girls know what they are as keloids tend to be mostly on african carribean men. I haven’t met a girl who is put off by them if I’m honest. A few have asked what they are but just wanted to know. One went to a chemist to ask if there was anything I could take for them! 

Only shallow girls really had a problem. A friends girlfriend commented on them but she was young and insecure.

Women will accept you. However, that is not a good way to look at it. You don’t need to be accepted – you are a great guy who has a lot to offer and is a valuable high quality guy. You should look at it like you are the buyer, not the women. Women should have to earn your interest. You only deserve the best. Why pick someone who judges you on a physical attribute rather than who you are as a person?!

There are a lot of women who may comment but why waste your time on them. More women will love you, fancy you and want to sleep with you, keloids and all. I can’t hide my scars nor get anymore treatment for them but I have accepted them. I see them as my own personal tattoos that noone else can EVER have. Anyone can get the same tattoo as another, no one will ever have the same keloids as you! Be proud of that uniqueness!

You can either let things beat you or you can embrace them and let them enhance and better you by what they teach and develop within yourself. Learn to be at peace with yourself and women will love you as they sense your confidence and manliness. Stop thinking of what you have to offer a woman. Look at who you are as a person and how you can better yourself – go to the gym, learn a new language, buy clothes etc, whatever change you like and always look to improve. By adapting and developing yourself, you will become a happier, more confident person who is happy with himself inside and out and girls will be drawn to and attracted to that.

It takes time but it can happen mate. Feel free to chat about this with me more.

All the best and keep in touch,

About the Author
I would modestly describe myself as a Website Badass, Blogging Guru and Self Improvement Wizard! I'm a blogger and entrepreneur who writes to help men develop and better their lives using examples from popular media. My personal journey has been marked by awkwardness and awesomeness, OCD and 'OMG'. I'm 33, a Teuchter and currently resides in the United Kingdom. I've set my own foot on fire whilst reading and been a midwife to sheep! I also run for your website needs!

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