Win the Decade, Not just the Round | Redefining Success in BJJ

ALL PODCAST EPISODES, Built, Not Bought 1:44:42

TODAY's GUEST IS ...

“You’re not in competition with anybody — you’re just trying to get better than the person that walked in on day one.”

What if the reason you’re burning out, getting injured, or quietly losing confidence… isn’t your age — but the way you define success?

Most men step on the mat trying to prove something.
They leave years later either broken, bitter, or gone entirely.

Most men don’t quit Jiu-Jitsu because they’re too old — they quit because their ego can’t handle not winning.

This week with Rick Ellis, we break down why recovery is training, why intensity isn’t discipline, and why the only real competition is you vs the man who walked in on day one.

If you want to train for decades — not just dominate for months — this episode will change how you measure success.

In this conversation with Rick Ellis, you’ll hear a completely different framework:

• Why taps don’t matter as much as you think
• Why recovery is training
• Why ego — not ability — is what really slows progress
• And why the only metric that ever mattered… was you vs the old you.

🎙️ Meet Rick Ellis — Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu black belt, creator of The Art of Skill, and author of a guide built for grapplers who refuse to quit.

He didn’t start at 20. He started at 41 — and cracked the code on how to train, improve, and stay dangerous without destroying your body.

If you’ve ever felt:

  • Too old

  • Not fit enough

  • Behind everyone else

  • Or quietly beating yourself up after a “bad session”

This episode might change how you train — and how you live.

Because this isn’t really about jiu-jitsu.

It’s about longevity. Identity. And redefining what winning actually means.

🧡 Support The Show & Share This Episode!

Thank you for listening, and for being someone who chooses to go deeper.

Further Links graphic

🔗GUEST SOCIALS

WordPress Facebook Instagram Tiktok Youtube

Transcript

Read the transcripts here: 

🔗 Key Links 

🥋 Mentions in the Episode

  • 🧠 Roy Dean (Professor Reference) → https://roydean.tv
    (Referenced regarding discipline & restraint)

If this conversation resonated with you, start with the Art of Skill YouTube channel — then explore the book if you’re serious about training for decades

Listen Here

Watch Here

KEY POINTS, Links & Actions

🧭 Episode Summary – 

This episode will help you feel less behind and more in control of your path.

If you’ve ever walked off the mat feeling:

  • Not good enough

  • Too old

  • Too slow

  • Embarrassed by a tap

  • Or quietly wondering if you should just quit

You’ll realise you’re not broken — you’ve just been measuring the wrong thing.

This conversation will help you:

  • Release the pressure to dominate every round

  • Let go of ego-driven comparison

  • Reframe setbacks as part of mastery

  • Feel calmer about starting (or restarting)

  • Understand that longevity is the real win

Most importantly, it gives you permission to stop competing with the room — and start building yourself.

You’ll walk away more grounded.
More patient.
And clearer on what progress actually looks like.

This episode is for people who are:

• Struggling with comparison — constantly measuring themselves against younger, fitter, faster men
• Feeling stuck in the cycle of pushing hard → getting injured → falling off
• Questioning whether they’re too old, too out of shape, or too far behind to start (or restart)
• Trying to build strength, discipline, and identity without burning themselves out

It’s for the 35+ guy who still wants to improve — but doesn’t want to wreck his body doing it.

It’s for the man who’s tired of letting ego dictate his training.

This isn’t a technique breakdown.
It’s a recalibration of what success actually means.

Here’s what we explore:

🧠 Ego vs Identity

Why most men train to prove something — and how that mindset quietly slows progress.
Rick breaks down the trap of measuring yourself by taps, belts, and who you can beat… instead of who you’re becoming.

🥋 You vs The Old You

The core philosophy:
You are not competing with the room.
You’re competing with the man who walked in on day one.

We unpack how this single shift changes everything — confidence, longevity, enjoyment, and growth.

🏋️ Sustainable Training (Especially Over 40)

• Why intensity isn’t the answer
• Why frequency beats burnout
• Why restraint becomes a discipline
• How to avoid the injury → absence → regret cycle

This is about winning years, not rounds.

🔄 Recovery Is Training

Mobility. Walking. Sunlight. Hydration. Sleep.
Rick explains why recovery isn’t a “nice extra” — it’s part of the work.

If you don’t recover with intention, you’re robbing your future self.

🧩 Redefining Success

Is success tapping someone?
Or is it training consistently, improving mobility, staying calmer under pressure, and building resilience?

We talk about what happens when you zoom out from single rounds… and start thinking in decades.

🧔‍♂️ Starting Late & Starting Again

Rick began at 41.
He isn’t a world champion freak athlete.
He’s someone who figured out how not to quit.

For the man thinking, “I’m too old, too stiff, too far gone” — this conversation removes that excuse.

By the end of this episode, you won’t just think differently about Jiu-Jitsu.

You’ll think differently about:
• Progress
• Discipline
• Aging
• And what winning actually means in your own life.

This may not be for you if…

You’re only interested in hype, trying to dominate and and burning out by blue belt!

This conversation is about longevity, humility, and sustainable growth — not highlight reels.

📖 Guest Story – 

Before:
Rick started Jiu-Jitsu at 41.
Not as a prodigy. Not as a freak athlete. Just a guy who fell in love with the art and threw himself into it with obsessive intensity.

He trained hard. Pushed hard. Never took rounds off.
He wanted to prove he belonged.

What Broke:
His body.

Through his 40s he accumulated injury after injury — neck, back, joints, the wear and tear of refusing to accept reality.
He trained like a younger man in an older body.

The ego said:

“Push harder.”
The body said:
“Adapt — or stop.”

What He Tried That Didn’t Work:
• More intensity
• More volume
• Training through pain
• Wearing injuries like badges of honour
• Measuring success by taps and dominance

He realised something brutal:

You can’t outwork aging.
You can only out-think it.

What Finally Worked:
He recalibrated.

• Frequency over intensity
• Technique over explosiveness
• Recovery as part of training
• Ego management as daily discipline
• Redefining success as consistency, not conquest

He stopped trying to win rounds.
He started trying to win years.

Emotional Cost:
Letting go of the identity of being “the hard guy.”
Accepting fragility.
Admitting that younger athletes could physically overwhelm him.

That stings.

Social Cost:
Not dominating the room anymore.
Letting white and blue belts occasionally catch him.
No longer chasing the image of the unstoppable grappler.

That requires humility.

Identity Shift — After:
He didn’t become weaker.
He became smarter.

He cracked the code on how to train sustainably — and turned that into a book for the men who refuse to quit.

Now he’s not the world champion who started at 19.

He’s the relatable black belt who started at 41…
and figured out how to stay.

And that’s more powerful.

Because the real transformation wasn’t technical.

It was internal.

From:

“I have something to prove.”

To:

“I’m building something that lasts.”

And I want this to be the start of YOUR journey too!

🔑 Key Takeaways – 

• 🥋 You vs You — The only metric that matters is how you compare to the person who walked in on day one.

• 🧠 Ego Slows Growth — Training to prove something blocks you from learning something.

• 🔥 Intensity Isn’t Discipline — Sometimes the real discipline is knowing when to stop.

• 📅 Win Years, Not Rounds — One roll means nothing. Decades mean everything.

• 🔄 Recovery Is Training — If you don’t recover with intention, you’re stealing from your future sessions.

• 🦴 Technique Over Explosiveness — You can’t outwork aging, but you can out-skill it.

• 🧘 Mobility > Max Lifts — A strong but rigid body breaks. A mobile body lasts.

• ⚖️ Frequency Beats Volume — Five smart sessions beat two ego-driven wars.

• 🧊 Stay Calm Under Pressure — Growth happens when you reduce chaos, not amplify it.

• 🧩 Solve Problems Like a Scientist — Getting caught is feedback, not failure.

• 🎯 Redefine Success — Consistency, mobility, knowledge, composure. Not taps.

• 🏋️ Build the Machine — Assess your weaknesses before loading more weight.

• 🪞 Check the Story — Are you training to improve… or to protect your identity?

• 🧔 Start Where You Are — You don’t need five days a week. You need consistency.

• 🕰️ Ease Into It — Sudden intensity is the fastest way back to the couch.

• 🤝 Find the Right Room — A safe training environment determines longevity.

• 🧱 Layer by Layer — Jiu-Jitsu is an onion. Every belt just reveals deeper work.

• 📈 Small Improvements Compound — Calm today becomes confidence next year.

• 🛑 Fragility Is Real — Every year requires more awareness, not more denial.

• 🌱 Chip Away — You don’t change everything at once. You improve steadily.

• 🧔‍♂️ Humility Is Earned — Failure, over and over, forges real confidence.

• 🧭 Your Path Is Yours — Your game should reflect your body, your history, your strengths.

• 🏆 Outcomes Are Side Effects — Taps improve naturally when the fundamentals improve.

• 🔁 Don’t Quit — Sustainable training beats heroic bursts.

🎯 Listener Challenges — Turn Insight Into Movement

This episode isn’t about understanding more.
It’s about training differently tomorrow.

⚡ 5-Minute Actions (Do Today)

• 🪞 Ask Yourself: Am I training to improve — or to prove? Write the honest answer.
• 📓 Define Your Metric: Replace “Did I win?” with “Did I improve?”
• 🧠 Reframe One Tap: Think of one recent “loss” and write what it taught you.
• 💧 Hydrate Intentionally: Add electrolytes today. Stop pretending recovery doesn’t matter.
• 🚶 Go For a Walk: 10 minutes of blood flow = active recovery.
• 🧘 Do 5 Minutes of Mobility: Hips or shoulders. No excuses.
• 📅 Plan Your Next Session: Schedule consistency, not intensity.
• 🛑 Cap Your Rolls: Decide before you step on the mat how many rounds you’ll do. Stick to it.
• 🧭 Zoom Out: Ask, “Will this matter in 10 years?”

🛠️ 1-Hour Actions (Build the Machine)

• 📊 Assess Your Body: Where are you tight? Weak? Inflamed? Be honest.
• 📹 Film a Round: Watch it like a scientist, not a critic.
• 🏋️ Mobility Session: Dedicate a full hour to joint health.
• 🥗 Audit Nutrition: Remove one habit that slows recovery.
• 🛌 Sleep Upgrade: Create a real sleep protocol. No phone in bed.
• 📚 Study One Position Deeply: Fix a recurring weakness instead of adding flashy techniques.
• 🤝 Evaluate Your Training Room: Is it safe? Is it ego-driven?
• 📉 Lower Intensity 20%: See how much you actually learn when you stop forcing.
• 🧪 Experiment: Choose one small adjustment and test it next session.

🧬 Identity Shifts (This Is The Real Work)

• 🥋 From “I Must Win” → “I Must Learn.”
• 🧠 From “I’m Behind” → “I’m Building.”
• 🔥 From “Go Hard” → “Go Long.”
• 🧱 From “All or Nothing” → “Chip Away.”
• 🧘 From “Fragile Means Weak” → “Fragile Means Aware.”
• 📅 From “Hero Sessions” → “Sustainable Reps.”
• 🏆 From “Beat Them” → “Outgrow Yesterday.”
• 🤝 From “Prove Myself” → “Belong Here.”
• 🌱 From “Too Old” → “Too Smart To Rush.”

The One Key Action

If the listener only did one thing:

👉 Redefine success as consistency.

Not taps.
Not domination.
Not how you look compared to others.

Success =
Did you show up?
Did you learn something?
Will you still be training next year?

Everything else flows from that.

If you adopt that metric, you don’t quit.
And if you don’t quit, you evolve.

That’s the entire episode distilled into one standard.

⚠️ The Uncomfortable Truth

You’re not stuck because you’re too old.

You’re stuck because you won’t let go of your ego.

Most men don’t quit Jiu-Jitsu because of age.
They quit because they can’t handle:

• Being the nail instead of the hammer
• Getting tapped by someone younger
• Not feeling exceptional
• Training without dominating

The hard truth from this episode?

If you train at maximum intensity all the time, you’re not being disciplined — you’re being insecure.

And if you measure success by who you can beat, you will eventually lose motivation… because someone faster, younger, stronger will always walk through the door.

Longevity requires humility.
Sustainable progress requires restraint.

And that’s not exciting.
It’s mature.

But it’s the only path that keeps you in the game.

 
 

🧬 Identity Shift

If someone truly absorbed this episode, they would stop seeing themselves as:

• “The older guy trying to keep up.”
• “The one who should be further ahead by now.”
• “The guy who has to prove he still has it.”

And start seeing themselves as:

• A long-term practitioner building something durable
• A man refining, not rushing
• Someone training for decades, not validation
• An athlete who adapts instead of resists
• A student committed to evolution, not ego

They would no longer measure themselves by who they can beat.

They would measure themselves by:

  • How consistently they show up

  • How intelligently they train

  • How well they manage themselves under pressure

  • How calm they remain when challenged

The biggest shift?

From:

“Am I good enough compared to them?”

To:

“Am I better than I was?”

That change moves a man from fragile confidence to stable confidence.

Not hype.
Not dominance.
Grounded, earned self-respect.

And once that clicks, you don’t just train differently.

You live differently.

 
 

INFOGRAPHIC

“The only metric that matters is you versus your old self.”

 

“Recovery is training.”

 

“You’re robbing yourself of quality training if you don’t recover with intention.”

 

“You have to manage your ego every day you train.”

 

“I’m just someone who didn’t quit.”

 

LEVEL UP WITH THESE KEY PRODUCTS!

There are millions of potential products to buy, so how do you know which ones are worth your hard earned money? Simple! Click here and visit my AFFILIATES HIGHLIGHTS page to explore the products and services I recommend that will transform, improve and evolve your life.

There is a wide range of companies showcased on the page, companies that will make you a better athlete, a better lover, a better man, better in all areas of your life. 



Old Grappler Handbook: How to Thrive in Jiu Jitsu Over 40 Audible Logo Audible Audiobook – Unabridged



LEVEL UP Time WITH THIS KEY LESSON!

🧠 Core Lesson + CTA

The core lesson from this conversation is simple — and uncomfortable:

You don’t lose because you’re aging.
You lose because you’re measuring the wrong thing.

If you define success by taps, dominance, and intensity, you will eventually burn out or walk away. But if you define success as consistency, humility, recovery, and steady improvement, you don’t just last — you evolve.

Longevity isn’t about going softer.
It’s about going smarter.

You don’t need to conquer the room.
You need to outgrow yesterday.

🎯 Your Move

This week, redefine your metric.

Go into your next session with one goal only:
Leave better than you arrived.

Not exhausted.
Not validated.
Better.

Then come back next week and do it again.

Listen to the full episode with Rick Ellis — and start training like the man who plans to still be dangerous in ten years, not just the next roll till you gas out and never come back! 

 

JOIN THE BROTHERHOOD

Occasional notes, ideas, and things worth sharing

— sent by email.

This newsletter is where I share ideas I’m thinking about between episodes — lessons that stuck, tools I’m testing, and links I’d send to a mate anyway.

There’s no fixed schedule, and no filler. If it’s not useful, it doesn’t get sent.

I don’t email often, and I don’t share addresses.

Join the list ✅

Read by a few thousand people. No spam. No selling. Just signal.

Affiliate Products to level up with

There are millions of potential products to buy, so how do you know which ones are worth your hard earned money? Simple! Click here and visit my AFFILIATES HIGHLIGHTS page to explore the products and services I recommend that will transform, improve and evolve your life.

There is a wide range of companies showcased on the page, companies that will make you a better athlete, a better lover, a better man, better in all areas of your life. 

Find YOUR NEXT Episode to listen to!

If you enjoyed the podcast, please help me by posting a review on iTunes or your podcast provider. 

Also, please ensure that you click my social media buttons to stay in touch for updates on the latest posts, affiliate deals, virtual hugs and what not! 

To see all current episodes, simply click here or select another episode from the random generating carousel!

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Email | RSS | More

About the Author
I’m a podcaster who interviews great examples of people to discuss and highlight the methods, hacks, tips and procedures you can use in your own life to help you develop and better your life. I would definitely not consider myself an expert, so to improve, I ask them and action it in my own life! My personal journey has been marked by awkwardness and awesomeness, OCD and ‘OMG’. I have suffered with depression, shyness, unhappiness and lack of focus and motivation so I know what’s it like to feel lost and hopeless. Back then, I wished I had a podcast to listen to and find actual fixes and concrete action steps and not just unobtainable suggestions and promotion of their products but couldn’t find it … so I made my own!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.