Why Being ‘Nice’ Is Costing You Respect — and What to Do Instead

TODAY's GUEST IS Dr Robert A. Glover!

Today’s guest is Dr Robert A. Glover! 

Dr. Robert Glover is a relationship expert with over 40 years of professional experience. He is author of four books, including the groundbreaking, No More Mr. Nice Guy and is the founder of Integration Nation, an international community for men.

In this interview, we break down why being nice isn’t the goal we should aim for, and how to be true to yourself and live life as the real you! 

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KEY POINTS, Links & Actions

Here are some key points that I would advise you to concentrate on:

  • You don’t need to do it all – a Next Level Guy finds a coach to help them level up in the areas they need help with! Dr Glover is a key man to help you get the dates and life you want!
  • There is a big difference between being yourself and a nice guy! Hiding yourself and playing a character is one of the worst things you can do!
  • Too many men hide who they are and what they truly want in life. 
  • There are many reasons why nice guys do not finish first – because being a nice guy isn’t being yourself, it’s playing a character you think others want you to be and hide the bad parts of yourself and what you want and need. People pick up on this and that you aren’t being true to the real you! 
  • You partner wants and deserve the real you, not the person you think everyone else wants you to be. Be yourself and your tribe and a person who loves you for you, will find you. 
  • A nice guy tends to use covert contracts, where they give to get, not from the kindness of their heart, but simply to get something in return. 
  • A nice guy tends to underachieve, to avoid being in the spot-light, to avoid criticism and rather find people below them, that they can fix and avoid working on themselves. 
  • Our relationships with our fathers dictates the type of man that we will be.
  • Men are told to be dominant, powerful and to do it all on our own, not to ask for help or be vulnerable and it’s terrible advice! Take that risk and being vulnerable, and people will accept the real you. By being the real you, you can act as you are, and stop following the time wasting and self-destructive habits you use to hide the real you. 
  • Bottled up emotions and feelings is one of the main culprits that cause men to self-destruct themselves and act out.   
  • Being curious, and challenging our behaviors we want to stop, is a great method to find the real reason behind them, and what you need to do to stop running and start dealing with them. 
  • Men spending time with men, and discussing the real them, their real worries, their real struggles and seeing how we all share the same issue, is a secret sauce fix to what is holding us back. Find the tribe you can be you with, stop pushing in content, start creating. Stop consuming, start creating, start taking action, and watch your life change instantly!  
  • There are many men improvement clubs out there, if one doesn’t work for you, try another, there will be many that fit you, your needs and wants. 
  • Shame loses it’s power by sharing it with safe people, and listening to them sharing their shame. We all have shame, by sharing it, it loses the power it holds over you. 
  • Admitting our mistakes, our worries, our fears, our rough edges, are the things that make us lovable and attractive to others to date and mate with. Stop hiding the real you! 
  1. Give a copy of Dr Glover’s book to 3 friends, and ask them to read it and discuss. Build a men’s group from your safe friends. 

LEVEL UP Time WITH THIS KEY LESSON!

  • There is a big difference between being yourself and a nice guy! Hiding yourself and playing a character is one of the worst things you can do!
  • Too many men hide who they are and what they truly want in life. 
  • There are many reasons why nice guys do not finish first – because being a nice guy isn’t being yourself, it’s playing a character you think others want you to be and hide the bad parts of yourself and what you want and need. People pick up on this and that you aren’t being true to the real you! 
  • You partner wants and deserve the real you, not the person you think everyone else wants you to be. Be yourself and your tribe and a person who loves you for you, will find you. 

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About the Author
I host The Next Level Guy Podcast — conversations focused on helping men build themselves physically, mentally, socially, and professionally through real-world experience, discipline, and honest self-development. The show was built for ordinary men trying to improve their lives without the fake guru nonsense, empty motivation, or polished perfection. Every episode focuses on practical lessons, hard-earned perspective, and actionable tools that can actually be applied in real life. My own journey has included struggles with confidence, focus, mental health, and feeling stuck — which is why I care more about lived experience than theory. I’m not interested in pretending to have all the answers. I’m interested in learning from people who’ve genuinely done the work, testing those lessons in my own life, and sharing what actually helps. If you’re trying to become stronger, calmer, more capable, and more intentional in how you live, you’re in the right place.

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